3rd Grade, Language Arts

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Revising and Editing

• 3rd Grade, Language Arts
• Mary Ruebusch
• McCurdy School

Click for Teacher Pages.
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Teacher Page

• OBJECTIVE The learner will practice and review
  revising and editing.
• ACTIVITY The students will read and revise a
  piece written by a 3rd grade student.

Warning This show contains intentional errors!
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Teacher Page

• PROCEDURE
• 1. Click to move through these slides.
• Read the entire piece.
• 2. Then discuss and journal questions and
  problems found in the story.
• 3. The next set of slides has a revised, but
  unedited story.
• 4. The students may use the pen to mark
• corrections or you may wish them to journal.

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Read this unedited story by Brad, a third grader.

• How Tanner lost his tooth
• They were playing soccer because they had a game.
  And Tanners team was winning one to nothing.

Continue
5
Tanner blocked a shot and kicked the ball far
away from the goal. Tanner looked like he had
two black eyes. But he said he just didnt get
enough sleep. Then Ryan stoled the ball and then
he passed to Tanner.
Continue
6
Tanner wasnt paying attention and the ball hit
him in the mouth. Tanner lost his tooth. The
End.
Make a list of questions that you have after
reading this story.
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Some questions you might have are--How old are
Tanner and Ryan? Why did the author include the
part about the two black eyes?What happened
after Tanner lost his tooth?
What are your questions?
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With a partner make up a story about the soccer
game. Use the facts that Brad gave you and make
up the parts that are missing from the story.
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Brad has revised his story, but he still needs
help with editing.As you read his story, use the
pen to mark parts that need correction.
Continue
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How Tanner lost his tooth
My friends Tanner, Ryan, and Zach and Kyle were
playing soccer on saturday morning. It was a
important game. Tanner looked tired like he had
too black eyes. The rest of the team looked
ready to play.
Continue
Pen
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Tanners team was winning one to nothing.
Suddenly Tanner blocked a shot and kicked the
ball far away from the goal.Then Ryan stoled the
ball and passed it to Tanner.
continue
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Tanner wasnt paying attentiion and the ball hit
him in the mouth. Tanner yelled and we all ran
to him.When he opened his moth we saw that his
tooth was missing. Tanner drank some water and
sat down for a wile. Later he fininhed the game.
His team won. It was a very lucky tooth.
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A good story has... an effective beginning,
middle, and end. a clear, controlling idea.
clearly addresses the topic and provides
specific, relevant details.contains words that
are specific, accurate, and suited to the
topic.contains few errors in grammar,
punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
The end