Example Thesis Statements

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Example Thesis Statements
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• Here is the prompt we will work with.
• In a well organized essay, explain how the writer
  uses rhetorical strategies to convey his message
  about societys attitude toward drunkenness.

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Thesis Example 1

• Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to
  show the audience how destructive alcoholism
  really is.

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• Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to
  show the audience how destructive alcoholism
  really is.
• Specific, but doesnt address prompt. Asked
  about Sanderss message about societys attitude
  toward drunkenness.

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• Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to
  show the audience how destructive alcoholism
  really is.
• How? Be more specific. Usually an author doesnt
  USE ethos, he or she uses some other rhetorical
  device in order to establish or create ethos.

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• Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to
  show the audience how destructive alcoholism
  really is.
• Shifts from what tone to what tone?

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Thesis Example 2

• Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and
  other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos
  to get across his message. I think he is trying
  to convey the message that society refuses to
  take alcoholism seriously they prefer to view it
  as a joke.

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• Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and
  other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos
  to get across his message. I think he is trying
  to convey the message that society refuses to
  take alcoholism seriously they prefer to view it
  as a joke.
• Good description. Specific, uses verbs.

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• Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and
  other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos
  to get across his message. I think he is trying
  to convey the message that society refuses to
  take alcoholism seriously they prefer to view it
  as a joke.
• Way too many things to write about in one essay.
  Choose your best 3, or the 3 that connect
  together the best.

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• Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and
  other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos
  to get across his message. I think he is trying
  to convey the message that society refuses to
  take alcoholism seriously they prefer to view it
  as a joke.
• Dont use 1st person. It is already obvious that
  you are writing what you think.

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Example Thesis 3

• Sanders uses tone shifts in this essay to convey
  that societys humorous attitude toward drunks is
  very cruel to the many people affected by
  alcoholism.

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• Sanders uses tone shifts in this essay to convey
  that societys humorous attitude toward drunks is
  very cruel to the many people affected by
  alcoholism.
• Shifts from what to what? Also, one item is too
  few.

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Example Thesis 4

• Sanders uses persona, tone shifts and
  organization to convey societys attitude toward
  drunkenness.

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• Sanders uses persona, tone shifts and
  organization to convey societys attitude toward
  drunkenness.
• Vaguewhat persona, shifting from what to what,
  what about the organization?

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• Sanders uses persona, tone shifts and
  organization to convey societys attitude toward
  drunkenness.
• What is the attitude?
• Also, carefulprompt didnt ask about societys
  attitude, asked about Sanders message about
  societys attitude.

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Tips

• Be as specific as possible. If you cant fit it
  all into one sentence at this point, thats okay.
• Verbs are your friends
• Careful to address the prompt
• No 1st person

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A good thesis statement

• Prompt In a well organized essay, explain how
  the writer uses rhetorical strategies to convey
  his message about societys attitude toward
  drunkenness.
• In the essay Under the Influence by Scott
  Russell Sanders, he conveys a message that
  society uses humor to hide the burden of
  alcoholism therefore, people never face the real
  problems alcohol causes. He uses many rhetorical
  devices such as musical diction, tone shifts from
  humorous to sarcastic, and allusions to develop
  this message.

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Never mention diction without an adjective to
describe it.

• Light-hearted diction
• Informal diction
• Humorous
• Sarcastic
• Childish diction
• Diction full of alliteration and assonance
• Musical diction

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ICE

• Analysis Question\ICE.doc

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ICE How to use evidence

• Introduce, Cite, Explain
• Integrate evidence into your OWN sentence.
• Never begin a sentence with a quote or paraphrase
• Explanation how this piece of evidence helps
  prove your thesis
• Citation depends on piece of writing
• AP essays, cite in intro (In paragraph 2, Sanders
  uses the words)
• Research papers, cite in intro or use
  parenthetical doc.

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To Quote or Paraphrase?

• Quote when
• Short, specific language is impt.
• Ok to quote only part of a sentence, individual
  words. Use ellipses () if you omit part in the
  middle of a sentence.
• Paraphrase when
• Long, content is important but language is not