Ben Longstaff is moving to Canada

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Ben Longstaff is moving to Canada
Bill Dennison Monitoring and Analysis
Subcommittee 5 Feb 2009
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Moving north to Canada during the coldest winter
in years?
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Longstaff migration
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Ben Longstaff needs to live in a country governed
by George Bush or his friends

• John Howard Bonzai

Stephen Harper
George Bush
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Ben Longstaffs migration is to higher latitudes

• Brisbane, Australia

Chesapeake Bay, USA
Lake Simco, Canada
44.30N
38.750N
27.50S
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Method 1 Correlation between latitude and time
using negative numbers for S
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Method 2 Significant correlation between
increasing latitude and time using absolute value
of latitude
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Ben Longstaff will arrive at the North Pole
(900N) in the year

• Method 1. 2017
• Method 2. 2040
• Average 2028

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Longstaff migration compensated for by global
warming
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Longstaff migration to North Pole due to coincide
with Arctic Ocean sea ice melting
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Arctic sea ice predicted to be gone by 2030
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Ben Longstaff will be diving at North Pole in 2030
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Top ten reasons for Ben to live in Canada

• Great to live really close to in-laws, right?
• Great flag, eh?
• Year round ice skating is way cool
• Ben missed Queen Elizabeth II
• Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
• Allegedly better fishing than Chesapeake Bay
• Similar reactionary government (Howard, Bush,
  Harper)
• Instead of driving to work, Ben can paddle his
  canoe
• Canadian money is more colorful
• By moving, Ben raises the average IQ of both
  the USA and Canada

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Ben is cool looking dude
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Ben is a serious scientist
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Ben is highly intelligent
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But would a highly intelligent individual choose
to be in South Dakota vs. Monterey or Cambridge?
(e.g., Nov 6, 2008)

• Bill Ben F. Bathhouse gang
  Jane H. and Ben L.
• in Monterey, CA in Cambridge, MD
  in Rapid City, SD

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Ben produced huge amount of science
communication products
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Chesapeake Bay report card completed, released,
and publicized
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Ben was key in producing Effects of Nutrient
Enrichment in the Nations Estuaries A Decade of
Change
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Ben helped develop a Great Barrier Reef report
card
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So it is appropriate that we develop a Ben
Longstaff report card
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