So what is pastoral care

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So what is pastoral care?
It is our attempt to reflect to people in our
community the unconditional love so freely
given to us by God
It is responding with shared experiences to
develop a trusting relationship
It is about giving the individuals and families
we visit the feeling of being cared for.
It is respecting their diversities and keeping
in confidence what they tell us
It is listening to their 'news', their needs
and their concerns
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Pastoral Visiting Wilmslow URC

• Introduction
• Pastoral care visiting has been described as the
  opportunity to show the Loving care of the
  Church community. The most significant activity
  in pastoral care visiting is to listen. In most
  of the visits you make, you will be welcomed and
  enjoy the opportunity to talk with people who
  look forward to your visit. There will also be
  visits where there are problems in a household.
  The people you are visiting may be going through
  difficult times and of course extra sensitivity
  is required for these visits.
• This booklet/presentation aims to provide help in
  making both types of pastoral care visits.

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Pastoral Visiting Families

• Before the Visit
• Agree upon a visiting time which suits the family

• During the Visit
• Listen, Listen and Chat
• Ask about all family members
• Be neutral - dont take sides
• in disputes
• Keep to the time agreed
• In problem situations be yourself and be patient
• Re-assurance may be needed if the family is going
  through very troubled times

Remember Families may have busy
lifestyles with many activities to fit into
their everyday schedules.
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Pastoral Visiting Elderly People

• Before the Visit
• Agree upon a visiting time which suits them
• If the person sometimes gets confused then make
  contact with a relative or next of kin before the
  visit
• Decide how long you are going to stay 10
  minutes is usually too short and over an hour may
  tire them out

• During the Visit
• Listen, Listen and Chat
• Some of those visited will have given devoted
  service to the Church and will enjoy talking
  about those experiences
• Keep them up to date with local and Church news
• Is there any practical help you could offer
  Shopping, form filling, transport?
• Ask about their health and how they are coping
• Elderly people who have lost their partners may
  be very lonely and will enjoy a visit and a chat
  which keeps them in touch

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Pastoral Visiting Those who are ill

• Before the Visit
• Before the first visit make enquiries about their
  illness
• Consider taking appropriate reading material
• Consider a small gift of fruit, flowers or
  toiletries
• Space out your visits when others are calling
  from the Church

• During the Visit
• Listen, Listen and Talk
• Be sensitive dont stay too long or talk too
  much
• Be practical can you help with phone calls,
  purchasing necessities, small errands?
• Enquire about the patients relatives and
  dependants
• In some cases a short bible reading may be
  welcomed
• Be natural- accept the situation as it is and go
  with the patients own attitude to their illness

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Pastoral Visiting Those who are depressed

• Before the Visit
• Remind yourself
• That depression is an illness, like having a
  heart attack
• Confidentiality is crucial
• It is the role of the medical specialist to
  prescribe
• Your visits are very important during the long
  recovery stage (takes months not weeks)

• During the Visit
• Listen, Listen and Talk
• Be sympathetic to their expressions of guilt,
  inadequacy and anxiety
• Be patient the recovery times are not short
• Try not to become emotionally involved that
  will not help recovery
• Do not suggest any cures they are the
  responsibility of the professionals
• Be sensitive to the impact of the illness on the
  rest of the family

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Pastoral Visiting The terminally ill

• Before the Visit
• Be prepared to talk about any subject including
  death
• Be prepared to meet other members of the family
  during the visit and give them priority
• Be serious and sensitive
• If you think the patient may welcome a bible
  reading or prayer then select one that is
  suitable before the visit

• During the Visit
• Listen, Listen and Talk
• Be sensitive and sympathetic and talk about any
  subject the patient may wish to discuss
• Recognise that the patients emotions may swing
  widely during the visit
• Do not be afraid of silence it may be more
  beneficial than words
• Take the unhurried and gentle approach your
  time is their time during the visit
• Watch for signs of fatigue and leave when you see
  them
• Ask if they would like a bible reading or a prayer

Remember These are not easy visits
to make. Terminally ill people are facing the
ultimate challenge in life and your visits can
help them.
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Pastoral Visiting The bereaved

• Before the Visit
• Be flexible reaction to bereavement depends on
  the person and the circumstances
• Be prepared to listen sometimes to the same
  story on several visits
• Be prepared to help with some immediate actions
  like attending the funeral service and offering
  support

• During the Visit
• Listen, Listen and Listen
• Weeping is normal and a sympathetic shoulder may
  be very welcome
• Be sympathetic to problems with sleeping and
  eating
• Identify any immediate practical help in the
  absence of close relatives visits to
  solicitors, DSS letters
• Consider if you could help in disposing of the
  personal clothing and effects of the deceased
  to Hospice and Charity Shops etc.
• Consider helping to compile a photograph album
  the good times are remembered
• To be most helpful you have to be prepared for
  the long haul to re-integration

Remember Shock is the first
stage of bereavement. Pining and yearning
follow this before re-integration can commence.
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Pastoral Visiting The disabled

• Before the Visit
• Before the first visit find out about the
  disability and any activities already being
  pursued
• Remember they want to be treated as normal human
  beings
• Loneliness and isolation may be significant
  challenges for them

• During the Visit
• Listen, Listen and Chat
• Talk about activities in the local community
  which might interest them
• Talk about any Church activities which might
  interest them
• People with severe learning disabilities are
  often child-like and respond well when shown
  natural warmth and affection
• Identify if you could help with transport

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Pastoral Visiting Drug Alcohol Abuse

• Before the Visit
• It is best for professional agencies to counsel
  substance mis-users
• Family and friends often feel they are somewhat
  to blame and wish to keep the problem secret
• There are no quick-fix solutions

• During the Visit
• Listen, Listen and Talk
• Dont take sides
• Remind them
• Neither they nor you can solve the problem
• Until the mis-user recognises they have a problem
  they are unlikely to change
• They should attempt to make the mis-user face the
  consequences of their actions (dont pay their
  bills or clear up their mess)
• Dont make threats that are not carried out
• Dont cover up for them
• (If you are visiting a mis-user,
• apply these guidelines yourself)

Remember Your visits will
assure family and friends they are not being
rejected because of the problem
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Pastoral Visiting Wilmslow URC

• and finally
• There is no need to develop a pastoral care
  personality- we should just be ourselves with
  our own strengths and weaknesses. As pastoral
  carers we ourselves can receive strength and
  guidance from other members of our team, our
  pastoral care co-ordinator Jenny Spiller and from
  our minister Revd
• David Jenkins.
• If you would like more information
• about pastoral care or pastoral care
• visiting, then a copy of Dorothy Smiths book
  Pastoral care a guide to helping is
  recommended. Every pastoral care leader has a
  copy of the book. There is also a copy of the
  book in the Church Office (01625 532600).
• A copy of this PowerPoint presentation is
  available at
• www.wilmslowurc.fsnet.co.uk