Choices in Relationships

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Choices in Relationships

• Chapter Thirteen Stress and Crisis in
  Relationships

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Personal Stress and Crisis Events

• Definitions of Stress and Crisis Events
• Stress is a reaction of the body to substantial
  or unusual demands (physical, environmental, or
  interpersonal) made on it.

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• A crisis is a crucial situation that requires
  changes in normal patterns of behavior.

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Personal Stress and Crisis Events

• Resilient Families
• Resiliency refers to a familys strengths and
  ability to respond to a crisis in a positive way.
  

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• Several characteristics associated with resilient
  families include
• Having a joint cause or purpose
• Emotional support for each other
• Good problem-solving skills
• The ability to delay gratification

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Personal Stress and Crisis Events

• Several characteristics associated with resilient
  families include
• Flexibility
• Accessing residual resources
• Communication
• Commitment

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Personal Stress and Crisis Events

• A Family Stress Model
• How a family experiences and responds to stress
  depends not only on the event but also on the
  familys coping resources and perceptions of the
  event.

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Positive Stress Management Strategies

• Changing Basic Values and Perspective
• The strategy that many people cite as being
  helpful is changing basic values as a result of
  the crisis situation.

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• Exercise
• Exercise has also been associated with successful
  crisis coping and better health.
• Exercise is also an effective stress reducer.

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Positive Stress Management Strategies

• Biofeedback
• Biofeedback treatment teaches a person to
  influence biological responses such as heart
  rate, nervous system arousal, muscle
  contractions, and even brain wave functioning.

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Positive Stress Management Strategies

• Sleep
• Getting an adequate amount of sleep is also
  associated with low stress levels.

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• Love
• A love relationship also helps an individual cope
  with stress.
• Similarly, intimacy in ones marriage, as well as
  being able to talk with family members, is
  associated with stress reduction.

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Positive Stress Management Strategies

• Religion and Spirituality
• Spirituality, defined as having purpose and
  meaning in life, having inner resources, feeling
  connected to others, and being able to transcend
  ones physical or psychological condition may
  also be positively related to reducing stress and
  coping with crisis events.

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Positive Stress Management Strategies

• Friends and Relatives
• By reaching out to friends and relatives, people
  do not feel so alone and vulnerable in the world
  and perhaps this enables them to prepare
  themselves for the worst

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• Multiple Roles
• Another factor that helps individuals cope with
  stress is to be involved in multiple roles.
• The greater the number of roles, the lower the
  depression and the higher the psychological
  well-being.

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Positive Stress Management Strategies

• Humor
• Humor is associated with a number of positive
  outcomes, including stress reduction, physical
  health, mental well-being, and life satisfaction.
• Other Helpful Strategies
• Intervening early in a crisis.
• Avoiding blame.
• Keep destructive impulses in check.
• Seek opportunities for fun.

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Harmful Strategies

• Harmful Stress Management Strategies
• Some coping strategies not only are ineffective
  for resolving family problems but also add to the
  familys stress by making the problem worse.

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• These included keeping feelings inside, taking
  out frustrations on others, and denying or
  avoiding the problem.

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Five Family Crises

• Physical Illness and Disability
• Major illness/injury to self was ranked the
  number 3 most stressful life event (from a list
  of 51) by over 3,000 adult respondents (death of
  spouse and death of close family member were
  numbers 1 and 2).

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• Although short-term illness and disability often
  produce stress in the family, long-term illness
  and disability have profound and enduring effects
  on family members and family life.

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Five Family Crises

• Physical Illness and Disability
• Intimacy and Threatened Loss
• Establishing Healthy Boundaries
• Togetherness and Separateness

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Five Family Crises

• Extramarital Affair
• Extramarital affair refers to the emotional and
  sexual involvement of a spouse with someone other
  than the mate.

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Five Family Crises

• Extramarital Affair
• Extradyadic involvement refers to all pair-bonded
  individuals who are emotionally and sexually
  involved with someone other than the partner.

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Five Family Crises

• Reasons for Extramarital Involvements
• Variety, novelty, and excitement
• Workplace friendships
• Relationship dissatisfaction
• Revenge
• Homosexual relationship
• Aging
• Absence from partner

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Should You Seek a Divorce If Your Partner Has an
Affair?

• One alternative is to end the relationship
  immediately on the premise that trust has been
  broken and can never be mended.
• Other couples respond to a partners emotional
  and sexual involvement with acceptance.
• When spouses do stay together after an affair,
  the price is high.

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Five Family Crises

• Unemployment
• The effects of unemployment may be more severe
  for men than for women.

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• Drug Abuse
• Spouses, parents, and children who abuse drugs
  contribute to the stress and conflict experienced
  in their respective marriages and families.

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Five Family Crises

• Teenage Drug Abuse
• Drug Abuse Support Groups
• Al-Anon

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Five Family Crises

• Death
• Death of Ones Child
• Intimacy and sexual needs
• Views and feelings about having other children
• Methods of childrearing to be used for the
  surviving child or children
• Death of Ones Parent
• Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One

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Marriage and Family Therapy

• Availability of Marriage and Family Therapists
• There are around 50,000 marriage and family
  therapists in the United States.

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• Brief Solution-Based Therapy
• The cognitive-behavioral approach focuses on
  the cognitions or assumptions that underlie a
  marriage or family with the goal of ensuring that
  these are accurate and functional.

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Marriage and Family Therapy

• Though these may be helpful for getting e-mail
  answers to e-mail questions, ongoing on-line
  marital therapy is virtually unknown.
• Since effective marriage counseling requires the
  participation and involvement of both spouses,
  on-line marital therapy is made difficult since
  both partners would need to be on-line at the
  same time.
• In addition, nonverbal interaction behaviors
  cannot be observed by the therapist.