Daytona Beach, Florida: August 2004

1
Daytona Beach, Florida August 2004
This presentation will show some of the sites in
and around the Daytona Beach area. Hurricane
Charley caused major damage to the entire state
of Florida including the building where the Chez
Schwaab Daytona Vacation was being held.
The above sign was one of the few that survived
the hurricanes impact. If you know how to
replace roofs, remove trees or make store signs
there are many job opportunities in Daytona right
now.
2
The park a few miles away lost 50 of its trees
making the par for the frisbee golf course inside
drop by 15 strokes.
This car was in our condo parking lot. It was
missing all its windows and had numerous dings
and dents. Luckily it was not my rental.
This is a vacant oceanfront lot two buildings
down from the condo. Why its fenced off is beyond
explanation considering its just sand. The Chez
Schwaab Realty Co. is looking for partners to
purchase this property. With ten investors it
should only be 300K apiece. Call for details.
No sense having sand traps on this course
anymore theyre now part of the green.
3
Storm damaged some places beyond repair creating
unique types of sales. The most popular was the
Public Sale, but these were two that created
their own attention.
This Sunsations rip-off was completely ruined.
Every pane of glass in the front of the store was
broken out by the hurricane. However, the store
contents were still inside for those brave enough
to risk arrest for a five finger discount.
Speaking of good signs, the condo offered a great
deal on their DVD rentals. Can you really call it
a special when youre only saving a nickel?
4
Luckily, it was business as usual at The Dump and
the Mar-Lo Market in the ghetto. No one is ever
at this mall because theyre all at the market
seeing who can drink the most 40s in a 24-hour
period.
After eating at Shroomers Pizza everyone feels
real good for a few hours unless they find
themselves being chased by the giant hot dog on
the back of this truck, like Schwaab did. That
giant dog is nasty he said as he ran away
fearing for his life.
No story about Daytona would be complete without
a quick mention of BiGGins. After three years of
trying the group finally sent in a recon team to
verify its claim. However, the only things that
were big in this place were the girls noses and
asses. Schwaab is in the process of filing a
truth in advertising lawsuit to prevent other
strip club connoisseurs from being taken
advantage of by this gross misrepresentation.
5
The destruction and devastation caused by Charley
should be a lesson to everyone when preparing for
a visit to Florida. Several things are necessary
to have when making the venture. First and
foremost you must have your Terrorist Hunting
Permit up to date before shooting your first
extremist. While you can hunt them without a
permit the taxadermists wont mount the head
without a valid license.
Secondly, you must be prepared to travel by water
in the event of flooding. Having the proper
safety equipment is a necessity. Owning a paddle
boat may seem like a joke now, but it could be a
lifesaver down the road. Always remember to test
drive it first though.
Chez Schwaab Entertaiment 2004