FOSTER PARENT GRIEF

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FOSTER PARENT GRIEF LOSS

• By Charley Joyce, LICSW

Power Point design by Gayle Grenz
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THE NATURE OF FOSTER PARENTING

• How Foster Parents are recruited.
• Why adults become Foster Parents.
• The paradox of being secondary parents.
• The hierarchy of helping and the role of the
• Foster Parent.
• The expectation to be objective in an
• emotional role.
• The example of being a troop in the Marines.

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STAGES OF FOSTER PARENT GRIEVING

• DENIAL Takes the form of Foster Parents not
  wanting the child to leave.
• Thinks of ways how the child might stay.
• DESPAIR Can be represented through not
  cooperating with childs plan.
• Heightened Anxiety over the childs safety.
• ANGER Often feel the system has failed and is
  a failure.
• Legitimate feelings get expressed in misplaced
  ways.
• .
• MOURNING Sadness, rumination over the loss.
• Questioning if fostering is worth it.
• GUILT Why am I not happy about a successful
  plan?
• ACCEPTANCE We/I offered the child a safe
  caring experience.

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WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT FOSTER PARENT GRIEF AND
LOSS?

• Learn about the stages of grief.
• Understand the role of Foster Parenting and
  understand its complexities.
• Try and stay as up-to-date as possible on the
  plan for the child.
• For Social Workers do closure meetings.
• For Foster Parents request closure
  meetings.
• Plan how you want to say good-bye to the child.
• Work out with your social worker and birth
  parents the boundaries in an ongoing relationship
  with the child, IF appropriate.
• Use your support systems ie other Foster
  Parents, Share Support, etc.
• Recognize loss as part of the Foster Parenting
  process and seek ways to improve response.

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YOUR THOUGHTS?