Sex, Lies and Technology

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Sex, Lies and Technology

• What Every Parent
• Needs to Know

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Fulton Psychological Group

• Individual Therapy
• Group Therapy
• Parent Training
• Family Therapy
• Couples Therapy
• Psychological Testing
• Psychiatry

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Communication Today

• Cell phone
• Calling
• Texting
• Sending pictures
• Computer
• IM
• Email
• Facebook, MySpace

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Positive Aspects of Online and Text Communication

• Can keep your child connected with their peers
  (e.g. school friends, camp peers, etc.)
• Youth can learn how to communicate online, craft
  a public identity, create a home page, post links
  etc.
• MySpace and Facebook are equivalent to a hang
  out
• Internet communication and texting sometimes
  allows youth to delve deeper into subjects they
  would otherwise be uncomfortable to discuss
• It helps youth express themselves who are shy or
  have difficulty in verbal communication

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MySpace and Facebook

• Personal websites
• For social interaction, dating, finding old
  friends, games, publicity, networking
• Can be highly personalized
• Can be used to stay in touch with long distant
  friends
• Method of posting photos and videos
• Can be used to update people to what you are doing

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Setting up an Account

• Setting up an account
• Valid email address
• First and last name
• Password for account
• Country, state, zip code
• Date of birth (supposed to be over 13)
• Create settings for public and private material
• Agree to terms of service and privacy policies

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Things Displayed

• What it can display
• Personal information such as name, mood status,
  marital status, religion, age, gender, DOB
• Contact information such as email address,
  hometown and school attended
• Comments, conversations with others
• Can show many more details
• Pictures, videos, interests

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Creating the Personal Profile

• Pictures, videos and music
• Links with other friends on site
• Shareable blogs/journals
• Buddy lists with groupings of friends and
  interesting people
• Clip art and other decorative items

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Facts about Social Networking

• Nearly 90 of teens have used them
• Becoming a prime method of communication
• More than half divulge sexual behavior, violence
  and substance abuse
• Teens arent conscious of the public aspect of
  social networking
• Many teens meet people online
• Used for creating an image

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Networking Sites have Predators
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Sexting

• Provocative language, pictures sent via phone
• 20 of teens do it
• Leaves digital footprint
• Illegal to produce, forward sexual pics of teens
• Is likely to be passed around to peers
• Leads to cyber bullying, social humiliation and
  sometimes even suicide

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Reasons for Sexting

• Increase in libidinal energy
• Desensitized (media, others doing it, etc.)
• Poor impulse control (cant see consequences)
• Illusion of privacy/anonymity
• Succumb to pressure, bullying
• Sender wants attention (poor self esteem)
• Defiance to parents

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Dangers of Sexting

• Leads to humiliation and exploitation
• Arrested, trouble in school
• Creates permanent, inappropriate record
• Could interfere with future goals, opportunities
• Sexual advances from others
• Inappropriate image
• Shame and suicide

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Video Networking

• New technology allowing anyone to upload and
  share videos they produce, copy or find
• Anyone can post anything
• No identity verification to become registered
• Age restricted material on honor system
• There is much sexually explicit content,
  violence, profanity and substance use
• Creates electronic footprint

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Technology and Fantasy

• Technology has spurred a whole fantasy life
  (through role play games, role play websites,
  etc)
• People who are depressed tend to be attracted to
  these sites
• Teens use role playing for identity tryouts
• Can lead to a loss of interest in real world
  activities

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Pornography

• Addictions
• Objectifies people
• Creates unrealistic image of sex partners
• Create unrealistic expectations of sex
• Can lead to fetishes, harmful or unusual sexual
  practices
• Can lead to shame and embarrassment

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Photoshop

• Can be used for cyber bullying
• Can create negative image of someone else

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Take the Necessary Precautions

• Be proactive and involved from the beginning
• Learn about the internet and texting
• Discuss the potential hazards
• Set parameters around language, time and content
• Have the computer in a public area rather than
  the childs bedroom
• Have the passwords to your childs accounts or be
  listed as a friend
• Consider using a monitoring software (e.g.
  WebWatcher or SpectorPro 6)

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Responding to Offenses

• Be approachable, dont overreact
• Ask questions to see if your teen recognized how
  the incident impacts him/her
• Express your own concerns and potential hazards
• If you do consequences, make them natural (e.g.
  confiscate phone, more limited time on computer,
  etc.)
• Contact other parents if need be

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Strengthen the Relationship

• Establish a good relationship with your child
• Share your concerns
• Convey your understanding of your childs social
  needs and interests
• Be approachable and encourage your child to come
  to you if he encounters a problem online
• Communicate with your child via the internet and
  texting