We Love and Fight: Family Communications and Conflicts

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We Love and FightFamily Communications and
Conflicts

• Dr. Orenia Yanai
• Dr. Tamar Milo
• AMI Family Business Consulting

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What is the workshop about?

• The importance of conflicts in the family
  business system.
• Every family has its own conflict patterns
• The sustained conflict cycle
• Conflict resolutionwhat do we do?
• Key lessons
• Practice learning my familys pattern of
  communication conflict

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The importance of conflict in the family business
system.

• How is the conflict within different from a
  conflict between?
• Conflict as the communication facilitator
• Conflict as protector of emotional invlovement.
• Conflict as an opportunity for learning
• Conflict as an opportunity for change.
• Effective and ineffective conflicts

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The importance of conflict in the family business
system.

• Expressions of conflict
• Denial
• Renunciation
• Deviation of conflict to a third party
• Negotiation
• Enforcement
• Open conflict

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The importance of conflict in the family business
system

• Advantages of the open conflict Enables conflict
  identification
• Facilitates pattern recognition
• Invites parties to get involved in conflict
  resolution attempts

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Every family has its own conflict pattern

• Reccuring patterns of conflict
• Characteristic of the conflict
• Sequence of the conflict
• Resolutions

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The sustained conflict cycle

• Within systems conflicts are collusively
  defensive.
• Members of the family collaborate to protect
  their whole system from something deeper than the
  conflict.
• The conflict protects members from dealing with
  the more threatening issue.

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The sustained conflict cycleK. Kaye

• Absence of conflicts raises apprehension

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Conflict resolutionwhat do we do?

• Do not get scared
• Introduce an attitude of curiosity and
  opportunity, toward the crisis.
• Decipher, interactively with the family,
  characteristic conflict patterns
• Main crises in the family business history
• Common characteristics of the problem, the
  solution vnd the way of getting there.

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• Examine the relevance of past coping mechanisms,
  to present conflict.
• Exercise communication skills, while analysing
  the conflict.
• Enlarge scope of alternative solutions
• Action plan
• Implementation follow up

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Lessons for the family and their consultant

• Conflicts require respect
• Make sure you understand before youi start to
  change.
• Honor the choice of the family to renounce
  conflict or to preserve it.
• Family growth lies in the communication.
• Be emphatic to all sides involved in the
  conflict yourself included.
• Managing present generationss conflicts is the
  greatest gift yu may give the next generation.