Domestic Violence

1
Dr. Don Welch Moderator
Dr. Keith Olson
Tonights topic
Domestic Violence
Hiedi Chan
Dr. Luis Vargas
645 to 800 pm Skyline Auditorium
Dr. Diana Sjostrom
2
Domestic ViolenceWhat it is What to
doPresented byHiedi ChanFamily
Consultation Service

3
Outline

• Definition
• Statistics
• Motivation and Pattern of Abuse
• Proper Response
• Victims
• Family and Friends

4
Definition

• Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive
  behaviors that some individuals use to control
  their intimate partners.  Domestic Violence is
  any type of violence, abuse, or threat of
  violence that one partner in a relationship
  commits against another. It includes physical,
  sexual, emotional, psychological, and verbal
  abuse. (Turning Point Service)

5
Domestic Violence Statistics

• 3 million American women are physically abused by
  their husband or boyfriend per year
• A woman is nine times more likely to be assaulted
  in her own home than on the street
• Every 9 seconds a woman is being battered or
  assaulted

6
Domestic Violence Statistics (contd)

• Only one in seven domestic violence cases comes
  to the attention of police.
• On average, more than three women are murdered by
  their husbands or boyfriends in this country
  every day.
• In 2000, 1,247 women were killed by an intimate
  partner. The same year, 440 men were killed by an
  intimate partner.
• (San Diego Domestic Violence Council)

7
Power and Control
8
Power and Control (contd)

• Using coercion and threats
• Using intimidation
• Using emotional abuse
• Using isolation
• Minimizing, denying and blaming
• Using children
• Using male privilege
• Using economic abuse

9
Equality
10
Equality (contd)

• Negotiation and fairness
• Non-threatening behavior
• Respect
• Trust and support
• Honesty and accountability
• Responsible parenting
• Shared responsibility
• Economic partnership

11
Two Major Patterns of Violence

• the violence and psychological manipulation tend
  to grow more intense, vicious and frequent.
• The violence tends to occur in a predicable
  three-stage cycle rather than as randomly
  distributed incidents

12
Continuum of Domestic Violence

• Physical
• Pushing gtpunching gtslapping gt kicking gt throwing
  object gt choking gt using weapons gt
  homicide/suicide
• Verbal/emotional
• Name calling gt criticizing gt ignoring gt yelling gt
  isolation gt humiliationgtsuicide
• Sexual
• Unwanted touching gt sexual name calling gt
  unfaithfulness gt false accusations gt forced sex gt
  hurtful sex gt rape

13
Three-Stage Cycle

• Stage One - Tension building
• Stage Two - Acute battering incident
• Stage Three - Loving-contrition
• (honeymoon stage)

14
Three-Stage Cycle (contd)
15
Characteristics of the Cycle

• More is less
• More times cycle occurs, less time to complete
  cycle
• Longer is worse
• The longer the abuse goes on, the worse the
  violence becomes
• Three become two
• The longer the abuse goes on, the shorter the
  honeymoon stage becomes

16
High Risk Periods

• Pregnancy
• Presence of infants
• Presence of teenagers
• Emotionally charged situations
• Televised sports (Super bowl)

17
Why Victims Stay

• Denial
• Hope
• Fear
• Shame/self-blame/responsibility
• Social pressure
• Low self-esteem
• Isolation
• Dependence
• Learned behavior
• Personal values

18
Why Victims Stay (contd)

• Want children to have a father
• Fear of losing custody
• Cultural and religious constraints
• Fear if husband cant survive
• Believe husband will change
• I love him

19
Characteristics of Batterers

• Was abused as a child, or saw father abuse his
  mother
• Has a love/hate relationship with his mother
• Is jealous and possessive
• Drinks or uses drugs excessively at times
• Is critical and difficult to please
• Treats mate like a possession
• Is overly suspicious and accusing
• Is unreasonable and inflexible at times

20
Characteristics of Batterers (contd)

• Is easily annoyed
• Feels no one understands him
• Is loving and kind at times
• Is a good provider
• Is a Yes guy outside of home and on the job, is
  socially CHARMING

21
Victims Reactions

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Sleep problems
• Weight fluctuation
• Substances abuse
• Somatic complaints
• Panic attacks
• Hyper-vigilance
• Intrusive / negative thoughts
• Suicidality

22
Childrens Reactions

• Academic problems
• Social problems
• Low self-esteem
• Externalization (behavioral problems)
• Internalization (emotional effects)
• Anger/Aggressiveness
• Depression
• PTSD

23
Safety Plan

• Move to a room with easy access to an exit.
• Dont go to the kitchen, bathroom or near
  possible weapons
• Know the quickest route out of your home.
  Practice escaping that way.
• Know the quickest route out of your workplace.
  Practice escaping the way. Domestic violence does
  not just occur in homes.

24
Safety Plan (contd)

• Pack a bag and have it ready. Keep it hidden but
  make it easy to grab quickly.
• Tell your neighbors about your abuse and ask them
  to call the police when they hear a disturbance

25
Safety Plan (contd)

• Have a code word to use with your kids, family
  and friends. They will know to call the police
  and get you help
• Know where you are going to go, if you ever have
  to leave
• Use your instincts
• You have the right to protect yourself and your
  kids.

26
How to Help

• Believe her
• Reassure her
• Share your emotions
• Accept her feelings
• Be there to listen
• Give options rather than advice
• Allow plenty of time for healing

27
Conclusion

• There is always help
• You are not alone
• You are not to blame
• Victims do not control the abusers use of
  violence. They make their decisions only on the
  basis of his mood and needs