Stepping

1
Stepping
into Higher
Education
2
Hi! Welcome to this slide show. Were here to
help you with academic writing. Look out for us
playing patients as well as students. We hope you
enjoy it.
3
How do you feel about going to university?

• Excited?
•  Apprehensive?
• Terrified?

4
Expectations of University Life

• What images or ideas come into your mind when you
  think of your future course at university?
• Write your ideas down. There are no right or
  wrong answers to this question. Simply write what
  your vision, expectations, hopes and fears are.

5
Expectations of University Life (continued)

• When we ask mature students to do this they
  often say.
• I expect . a large workload
• . a high standard at university
• . to be challenged
• . to develop my skills
• I want . support from university tutors
• . a good passmark
• . to gain confidence
• . to succeed!

6
Past students stepping into Higher Education

• We were all mature students. That made you feel
  a bit more at ease. We were all in the same
  situation we hadnt studied for years and a lot
  of us had families. At the beginning of the
  course, you dont feel very confident. At first,
  the thought of writing an essay was
  terrifyingYou progress. It becomes easier as you
  go on. Now I feel I can face any new challenges.

7

• I studied on an access course.That was very
  helpful because, having been out of school for a
  little while, I think I had lost some of my study
  skills. As a mature student my perception of
  education was more realistic than when I was
  younger.

8

• What has helped me to stay on the course is
  that my confidence is higher than it has ever
  been before. When I am doing my assignments, I
  dont find them easier as I go along but when I
  look back and see what Ive achieved, I find that
  I understand more about what is expected.

9

• I had been a health care assistant in Ireland
  for quite a few years and when I came to London
  to do my training I studied first on an Access
  course.
• An Access course is a great introduction to
  nursing.

10

• "What has kept me on this course is that I have
  found things in myself that I never knew I had. I
  am still so surprised to be here at university.
  Every successful assignment has just boosted me
  even more."

11

• While at university you will be expected to write
  essays and reports.
• This slide set will focus on authentic student
  writing from a first year human biology practical
  report.
• The material will be presented to you with
  activities to complete.

12
How to use the Programme

• All you need to do is to follow each slide as it
  comes.
• But, you should read and think about each slide
  carefully before you move on to the next slide.
• Some slides contain extracts of text which you
  will need to print out so that you can work on
  them when the programme tells you to do so.

13
Section I

• Preparing for
• Higher Education Study
• Thinking about assessment

14

• Learning is a gradual, varied and individual
  process because, as adults, we think, we read, we
  question, we discuss and we reflect. We each have
  our own rich resource of past experiences to
  combine with the new facts and ideas that we
  encounter at each stage of the higher educational
  process. We are developing and changing as
  individuals all the time.

15

• This means that being a student in higher
  education is about taking in information and
  using it to extend our own knowledge and produce
  more information. But this process of learning is
  guided in certain ways. The most important way in
  which this is done is to work on writing an
  assignment for a given task a task which seeks
  to test the quality of learning that has taken
  place over a period of time e.g. one term, one
  semester, one year. Therefore this written
  assignment shows the quality of your learning
  according to certain assessment criteria

16

• The question is
• How does an assignment show quality of learning?
• In other words, what are the criteria that show
  this?

17

• A general task
• Below is a list of assessment criteria.
• Which ones do you think are used to assess the
  quality of a written assignment?
• Detailed discussion of the subject
• Evidence of understanding key concepts
• Making appropriate links between theory and
  practice
• Use of relevant literature to support arguments
• Clear and logical presentation
• Demonstrating breadth of knowledge of the
  academic subject
• Demonstrating safe and sensitive practice

18
Answer

• The most important criteria are all those apart
  from
• Detailed discussion of the subject.
• Demonstrating breadth of knowledge of the subject.

19
Following on from this, answer the following
question

• Why are these two...
• Detailed discussion of the subject
• Demonstrating breadth of knowledge of the
  subject
• ... not so important?

20
Answer

• These two criteria do not focus on the actual
  task but on the academic subject itself. The
  subject is
• likely to be extensive in breadth and depth.
  Therefore, too much work would be required to
  present information about the whole subject and
  perhaps the focus on the task would be
  sacrificed. Depth of focused and relevant
  knowledge is more important than extensive,
  superficial knowledge.

21
Section II

• The nature of Academic Writing

22

• First of all, it is important to appreciate that
  academic writing is not just about language or
  grammar. It is about using language to convey the
  meaning that you want to be conveyed to the
  reader.

23

• Secondly, it is important to appreciate that
  every context of learning is different and so the
  demands of learning are different for every
  subject at every level. These tasks are about
  Nursing Studies at undergraduate level during the
  first year.

24
Section III

• Writing an Assignment
• for Level 1
• in Nursing Studies

25

• During your first term/year as a student, it is
  likely that you will assess the health of a
  person. For this, you will probably carry out a
  practical activity and, finally, write about it
  as an assignment in the form of a report. Your
  report will then be assessed.
• This assignment is a good way of assessing both
  the quality of the work you have done for the
  practical and your ability to write about it.

26
Section IV

• Tasks about Writing a Report

27
Introduction to the Tasks

• You are going to work on 24 tasks.
• These tasks should help you to understand what
  higher education study
• is like in Nursing Studies. All the tasks are
  about the kind of academic
• writing you will need to practice in order to be
  successful in this field.

28
The Method

• For each task you will be asked to give an
  answer in response. When you have done that, you
  will be given an appropriate answer which you can
  check with your own. Thinking about each task in
  turn and checking your answer against the one
  given to you will help you to raise your
  awareness of the important features of academic
  writing.

29

• All these tasks are about writing a 2,000 word
  report of a practical activity where the basic
  cardiovascular status of a person is assessed.

30
Task 1 The length of an assignment.

• All assessed writing work in Higher Education
  has a word limit.
• Why is it important to know how long the report
  should be?
• Choose the best one of the four answers given on
  the next slide.

31

• A It gives you an indication of how much time you
  need to write it.
• B You can start writing the report immediately
  and then you have a good idea of how much you
  need to write.
• C It gives you an indication of how deeply you
  need to go into the subject of the report.
• D It gives you an indication of what you can
  write about.

32
Task 1 Answer

• The best answer is C, It gives you an
  indication of how deeply you need to go into the
  subject of the report.. This is because it is
  what you write about that is most important.
• The worst answer is B, You can start writing
  the report immediately and then you have a good
  idea of how much you need to write.. This is
  because you should not be thinking of the
  assignment as a linear exercise (i.e. a
  step-by-step process where you write the first
  paragraph and then the next etc.) but as a
  holistic exercise (i.e. the assignment as a
  whole). Worrying about reaching 2,000 words at
  the beginning is a waste of valuable time.
• (This answer is continued on the next slide.)

33
Task 1 Answer (continued)

• Answer A, It gives you an indication of how
  much time you need to write it., is quite a
  good answer but it depends what is meant by
  writing the assignment (see later tasks).
• You know what the assignment is supposed to be
  about already and therefore D, It gives you an
  indication of how deeply you need to go into the
  subject of the report., is not a good answer.

34
Task 2 Writing an academic assignment

• In every written assignment three main areas
  have to be considered in preparing the report
• The language that is used.
• The information and ideas that need to be
  included.
• The organisation of the content.
• In which order should they be considered?

35
Answer Task 2

• Content
• Organisation
• Language
• BUT there is a big problem here. We never stop
  thinking. Our minds are moving forward with new
  ideas and different ideas about what we want to
  write and about how we want to write it. We keep
  wanting to make adjustments to improve what we
  write adjustments to the Content, how it is
  organised and how we express it. Therefore this
  simple order Content, Organisation, Language can
  only be a rough guide.

36
Task 3 Writing an academic assignment

• Following on from the answer to Task 2, why is
  this the best order?
• Content
• Organisation
• Language

37
Answer Task 3

• Content must be the first consideration because
  the report must have substance.
• Organising the content is the second
  consideration because the content must be well
  organised for it to be understood by the reader.
• Language comes third and last because it too
  helps the content to be understood by the reader.
  If the content is already well organised before
  we think of how to express it, then the language
  choices are easier to make than otherwise.

38
Task 4 The Content of the report

• Which of the following items should be excluded
  from a Cardiovascular Practical report?
• endocrine disease
• reflections about the practical
• the results of the assessment
• preventing diabetes mellitus
• what the report is about
• treatment of diabetes mellitus
• details about the person being assessed
• physiological rationale for the assessment and
  the functioning of the heart
• the interpretation of the results of the
  assessment
• considerations in preparing a practical and the
  assessment procedure

39
Task 4 Answer

• endocrine diseases
• preventing diabetes mellitus
• treatment of diabetes mellitus
• The assignment is not about diabetes mellitus.
  Nor is it about treatment of diabetes.

40
Task 5 Organising the Content of the Report

• In which order should the following seven
  sections be organised?
• Reflection about the practical
• The results of the assessment
• What the report is about
• Details about the person being assessed
• Physiological rationale for the assessment and
  the functioning of the heart
• The interpretation of the results of the
  assessment
• Considerations in preparing a practical and the
  assessment procedure

41
Answer Task 5

• 1st Section what the report is about (for the
  Introduction)
• 2nd and 3rd Sections EITHER details about the
  person being assessed followed by the
  physiological rationale for the assessment and
  the functioning of the heart, OR the other way
  around
• 4th Section considerations in preparing a
  practical and the assessment procedure
• 5th Section the results of the assessment
• 6th Section the interpretation of the results
  of the assessment
• 7th Section reflections about the practical

42
Task 6 Organisation

• What are the good points about this order?

43
Task 6 Answer

• The scene must be set for the reader so the
  Introduction is important for giving the general
  scene.
• The 2nd and 3rd sections set the specific scene
  for the reader.
• The 4th section is an introduction into the
  practical itself.
• The 5th section presents the results of the
  practical.
• The 6th section examines the results using
  knowledge and experience.
• The 7th section gives a general appraisal of the
  practical as a contribution to knowledge.

44
Task 7 Comparing the writing of two different
students

• In the next two slides you will read two
  extracts about two different clients who each
  participated in a cardiovascular practical
  conducted by two different students. Compare them
  and decide which one is better and give your
  reasons. You should find at least three main
  reasons. You may like to print out the two
  extracts so that you can examine them more easily
  than on the screen.

45
Extract 1

• The client addressed in this practical is a 20
  year old British female, currently taking no
  medication. She measures 164cm tall and weighs
  90kg about 15 to 20kg over the desired weight.
  She participates in some form of exercise on a
  daily basis. However she undertakes more vigorous
  exercise only occasionally.
• (Extract 1 is continued on the next slide.)

46
Extract 1 (continued)

• Although now the client currently only rarely
  smokes, she was, until recently, a regular smoker
  for the past 7 years, smoking between 20 to 25
  cigarettes per day. On average she also consumes
  about 15 units of alcohol per week. As the client
  is slightly overweight, her cardiovascular
  fitness may be affected by some strain being
  placed upon the heart. Factors such as these may
  have a significant in influence on the clients
  physical health addressed within this
  cardiovascular practical. Full details of the
  clients history can be found in the completed
  questionnaire in Appendix A.

47
Extract 2

• Ms X is 34yrs. And she is 5ft 6ins tall. She is
  black from African origin and weighs 14 stones.
  She is a non-smoker, single and has 2 kids
  (boys). She is a full time student studying at
  London University and also works weekend nights
  at a Residential home so therefore has an
  unstable sleeping pattern her exercises pattern
  is nil. She is a car owner. Her alcohol intake
  is nil.

48
Task 7 Answer

• Extract 1 is much better than Extract 2. The
  main reasons are that the Content, Organisation
  and Language are all better.
• Although now the client currently only rarely
  smokes, she was, until recently, a regular smoker
  for the past 7 years, smoking between 20 to 25
  cigarettes per day. On average she also consumes
  about 15 units of alcohol per week. As the client
  is slightly overweight, her cardiovascular
  fitness may be affected by some strain being
  placed upon the heart. Factors such as these may
  have a significant in influence on the clients
  physical health addressed within this
  cardiovascular practical. Full details of the
  clients history can be found in the completed
  questionnaire in Appendix A.
• The next task (Task 8) expands on these points.

49
Task 8 Comparing the writing of two different
students

• Examine the two extracts again and find more
  specific reasons to show why the Content,
  Organisation and Language are better in Extract 1
  than in Extract 2.

50
Task 8 Answer Content

• In Extract 1, the information is more detailed
  and is more relevant to the cardiovascular
  Practical than in Extract 2.
• Extract 1 shows that even more detailed
  information is available to the reader in the
  Appendix whereas this is not the case in Extract
  2.
• Another point to note is that all units of
  measurement should be metric, not imperial.

51
Task 8 Answer Organisation

• The information is better organised because it
  is in two paragraphs, which have clear, separate
  functions. The first provides a general
  information about the client and the second
  provides more specific information about the
  client that is directly linked to the Practical.
• But in Extract 2
• There are too many ideas put into the sentence
  beginning She is a full time student and the
  links are not clear.
• The following sentence, She is a car owner.
  Does not follow on from that sentence. Neither
  does the final sentence link in sensibly.

52
Task 8 Answer Language

• The information is better expressed.
• But in Extract 2
• 34 yrs has no meaning and the first two
  sentences should be combined into one Ms X is
  34 years old and 5ft 6ins tall.
• Using alternative expressions such as 2 kids
  (boys) invites the reader to decide what the
  writer means. The writer needs to be clear and
  should have written two boys.
• The register is too informal in two cases kids
  is colloquial speech and nil is repeated in
  different parts of the text.
• The sentence beginning She is a full-time
  student. is ungrammatical. It contains three
  sentences. The other two should begin with
  Therefore, she has an unstable. and Her
  exercise..
• The expression so therefore is stylistically
  poor because the same idea is repeated.

53
Task 9 Comparing the writing of two different
students

• This task is similar to Tasks 7 and 8. In the
  next two slides you will read two more extracts
  introducing the cardiovascular system and the
  assessment of the cardiovascular status of the
  client (Extract 3 and Extract 4). Again, they are
  written by two different students.
• This time, compare them and decide how they are
  different, giving your reasons. You may like to
  print out the two extracts so that you can
  examine them more easily than you can on the
  screen. In each extract the paragraphs have been
  numbered for easy reference.
• P1 Paragraph 1 of the extract.

54
Extract 3

• (P1) The cardiovascular system is made up of the
  heart, blood and the vessels along which the
  blood moves and transport material to and from
  other regions of the body. The main organ of the
  cardiovascular is the heart. The heart is the
  size of a clenched fist. It can be found behind
  and slightly to the left of the sternum and
  positioned between the thoracic cage and the lung
  and above diaphragm. The heart is composed of a
  cardiac muscle and divided into 4 hollow
  chambers. The heart is combined as one but
  physiological work separate as two. The heart
  must maintain a constant circulation of blood
  through the body this series of events is known
  as the cardiac cycle.
• (P2) During the observation the clients pulse
  was taken at the following sites carotid,
  brachial, radial, popliteal, dorsalis pedis. A
  pulse is when an artery lies close to the surface
  of the skin, a pulse can be felt that corresponds
  to the beating of the heart and alternating
  expansion and elastic of the arterial wall.

55
Extract 4

• (P1) The cardiovascular system is of vital
  importance to the adequate functioning of the
  rest of the body, forming a transport system for
  oxygen, nutrients, waste products, hormones and
  antibodies. As Martini (1995) shows, it plays a
  key role in supporting all other systems because
  any disorders will affect virtually every other
  cell in the body.
• (P2) In the assessment of cardiovascular status
  the measurement of the pulse and the blood
  pressure are vital, and will be obtained using
  the skills of palpation and auscultation.

56
Task 9 Answer - Content

• Extract 3 begins by simply giving a detailed
  description of the system whereas Extract 4
  begins by describing the importance of the
  system. In fact, in Extract 3 the description is
  unnecessarily detailed because the report is not
  about the cardiovascular system in general.
• Extract 3 moves on, unexpectedly, to describe
  what happened in the assessment procedure whereas
  Extract 4 moves on, smoothly, to describe what
  needs to be done in the assessment procedure.
• Extract 4 has a reference to the literature which
  gives credibility to the information given and
  enables readers to find out more information if
  they wish.

57
Task 9 Answer - Organisation

• Extract 3 describes the system with a brief
  reference (at the beginning of P2) to the
  assessment procedure that has taken place whereas
  Extract 4 gives a brief account about the
  importance of the system and of how the
  cardiovascular status should be assessed.
• Extract 3 describes what the vessels do before it
  describes the main organ, the heart, and the
  focus of attention in P2 is the pulse. In
  Extract 4, P1 is about the system and P2 is about
  the assessment

58
Task 9 Answer - Language

• Extract 3 contains five sentences beginning with
  a reference to the heart in sequence. The
  information given is a list of facts about the
  heart, rather than a connected text. In other
  words, The heart is repeated four times at the
  beginning of each sentence three times in
  sequence. In contrast, Extract 4 uses a more
  economical style to cover more information.
• In Extract 3, some of the information is
  unclearly expressed, whereas in Extract 4 it is
  clearly expressed.

59
Task 10 Comparing the writing of two different
students

• The three answers you have just read should help
  you to appreciate that Extract 4 is better than
  Extract 3 in terms of Content, Organisation and
  Language.
• Explain why.
• Begin with the Content, then go on to the
  Organisation and then go on to the Language.

60
Task 10 Answer - Content

• Some of the information in Extract 1 is
  unnecessarily detailed and even simplistic for
  this level.
• Extract 4 provides a clearer and a much closer
  link with the purpose of the report than does
  Extract 3.

61
Task 10 Answer - Organisation

• There is better cohesion, and therefore
  coherence, in Extract 4 than in Extract 3
  because, in Extract 4, the information leads
  from one point to another without any
  interruption to the flow. This does not happen in
  Extract 3. For example, in P1 of Extract 3, this
  series of events refers to something that should
  have been described but has not been described.

62

• Before we go on to the answer for Language, we
  need to consider the purpose of Extract 4, P1.
• What is the purpose of this paragraph?

63
Answer

• The purpose is to emphasis the importance of the
  system that is the subject of the assignment and
  to explain why. This information demonstrates
  that the writer understands the importance of the
  practical.
• The answer for Task 10 on Language is given on
  the next slide. Move on to it when you have
  thought about the answer yourself.

64
Task 10 Answer - Language

• In Extract 3, P1, there are mistakes in grammar,
  which are distracting for the reader and which
  also interfere with the meaning. This does not
  happen in Extract 4.
• This point is examined more closely in the next
  task.

65
Task 11 Grammar

• In Extract 3, P1, find three sections where
  grammar mistakes can be found.
• Try to explain why they are wrong and then try
  to correct them.
• Remember to link the grammar with the meaning.

66
Task 11 Answer

• the blood moves and transport material. There
  are two comments to make about this. Firstly, the
  subject the blood is followed by two verbs, but
  the second verb transport should be
  transports because the blood is singular.
  Secondly, both verbs are unnecessary and the idea
  could be condensed to the blood transports
  material
• The heart is combined as one but physiological
  work separate as two. Here the meaning is
  unclear. Perhaps the writer meant that The
  heart, as a whole, has two separate physiological
  functions.
• The last sentence of P1 should be two sentences.
  The second sentence should begin with This
  series . However, in view of the Organisation
  problem, perhaps that sentence should be This
  means that there is a series of events, which is
  known as the cardiac cycle.

67
Task 12 Organisation of the Content

• For this task you need to read the following
  long extract of five paragraphs, which are a
  continuation of Extract 4. You may like to print
  out this extract so that you can study it more
  easily than on the screen.
• Write a summary of the organisation of the
  content on a piece of paper in about five
  sentences (roughly one for each paragraph) and
  compare it with the suggested answer that follows
  this task. You may arrive at a similar answer but
  you may express it differently.
• Each paragraph is labelled, beginning with P3
  and ending with P7. You will see that some
  appendices are mentioned. They are labelled as
  Appendix. But PLEASE NOTE that they are not
  included in the programme.

68
Extract 5

• Please click on the button labelled PDF file
  below to download Extract 5.

PDF File
69
Task 12 Suggested answer

• (Note the quotes taken from the students text
  as shown by the inverted commas.)
• P3 Blood pressure is taken up from P2 and
  described in more detail with reference to the
  normal functioning of the heart.
• P4 The method of assessing the blood pressure is
  described and explained.
• P5 The same method is explained in more detail
  by focusing on how the pulse is examined to
  assess the blood pressure for the purposes of
  the practical.
• P6 The normal cardiovascular status in a healthy
  adult is presented as a measurement against which
  abnormal status can be compared.
• P7 A second method of assessment focusing on
  the effects of exercise on blood pressure is
  described and explained in terms of how and why
  it should be conducted.

70

• In Task 12 you examined the organisation of the
  content.
• In the next task, you are asked to focus on the
  language that helps to organise the content for
  the reader.

71
Task 13 The Language used to Organise the
Content

• This task refers to P6 on your printout of
  P3-P7.
• Underline the important linking words and
  phrases in P6 that refer to the content that has
  already been given i.e. the given information.
  Then compare what you have underlined with the
  answer given on the next slide.

72
Task 13 Answer

• (P6) In healthy adults the systolic blood
  pressure averages about 120mmHg, with the
  diastolic pressure averaging between 70 to 80mmHg
  (Marieb, 1999). Acceptable norms for pulse rate
  can be found in Appendix M. The importance of
  gaining a normal reading can be demonstrated by
  looking at the effects of abnormal blood pressure
  and pulse rates upon other functioning. In the
  case of chronic hypertension (i.e. extremely high
  persistent BP reading), the left ventricle of the
  heart is forced to work harder to pump blood
  against the higher pressure in the arteries,
  leading to an expansion of the left ventricle
  (Martini, 1995). The increased pressure in the
  arteries also leads to a weakening of the artery
  walls, the stress promoting the risk of problems
  such as heart attacks and strokes. Slight
  elevations in blood pressure and the pulse
  however are normal and can be affected by a
  number of factors, which will be outlined later.

73
Task 14 The Language used to organise the
Content
Can you explain each link?
74
Task 14 Answer

• In healthy adults this contrasts with abnormal
  rhythms and problems in P5.
• The systolic blood pressure this has already
  been introduced as new information in P4.
• The diastolic pressure this has already been
  introduced as new information in P4.
• Acceptable norms for pulse rate this idea has
  already been suggested in the previous sentence
• with the words healthy and average.
• normal reading this idea has also been
  suggested by acceptable norms.
• Abnormal blood pressure and pulse rates this
  contrasts with normal, norms.
• BP reading this is given information because it
  refers to reading.
• The higher pressure and The increased pressure in
  the arteries are given information that has been
• explained in P4 and P5.
• Blood pressure and the pulse similarly this is
  given information introduced much earlier in the

75
Task 15 The Presentation of the Data

• In an earlier task, Task 5, you examined the
  organisation of the main sections of the report.
  In the assignment that contains Extract 4 and
  Extract 5, these two extracts together make up
  the section called The Physiological Rationale
  for the Assignment.
• The next section (Extract 6), called The
  Presentation of the Data, is very short.

76
Extract 6

• The result can be found in Appendix D.
• Why is this extract so short?

77
Task 15 Answer

• The information is too detailed to include in
  the main assignment. It gives the direct results
  of the practical and must be included somehow.
  Therefore it is given in an appendix (The result
  can be found in Appendix D) and can be referred
  to if the reader wishes to see those details.

78
Task 16 Interpreting the Data

• The next section of the same assignment has the
  heading Interpretation of the Data Collected.
  In other words, the direct results are
  interpreted.

The following extract, Extract 7, is the first
paragraph of this section. Read it for Task 16.
You may like to print it out.
79
Extract 7

• As already mentioned, in healthy adults,
  systolic blood pressure averages about 120mmHg,
  and the diastolic, between 70 to 80mmHg (Marieb
  1999). When 31 measured, the clients blood
  pressure was only slightly higher than this
  norm at 125/85mmHg. According to Hinchliff and
  Montague (1996), however, smoking (which the
  client participated in regularly for seven years)
  can cause high blood pressure. Being overweight,
  which the client felt she was (see Appendix A),
  can also have an effect (Ganong, 1995). This
  slight variation from the norm, however, could
  be influenced by a number of external and
  situational factors and not actually by the
  clients health. Potential sources of error in
  blood pressure measurement are, for example, the
  position of the client, room temperature, and
  recent consumption of food and tobacco (Hinchliff
  and Montague, 1996 based on OBrien and
  OMalley, 1981). Stress and anxiety due to the
  increase of adrenaline can also cause blood
  pressure to change, as can the time of day.
  However, it is important to note that a reading
  was only taken once and, without the results of
  several readings over a period of time, no
  judgments can really be made regarding
  cardiovascular status.

80

• Now, make a list of the sources of evidence that
  the writer uses in Extract 7 to interpret the
  data.

81
Task 16 Answer

• The following sources of evidence are combined
  to interpret the data...
• the normal cardiovascular status in order to
  compare the clients cardiovascular status
• relevant references to the literature to support
  the points made
• relevant information about the client
• the writers own knowledge and experience

82
Task 17 Reflecting on the Practical

• The next extract, Extract 8, is the final
  section of the report, Reflections on the
  practical.
• You will need to read this carefully in order to
  do Task 17.
• As with the other extracts, you will find it
  helpful to print it out.

83
Extract 8

• The results gained from this practical seem to
  presume that the clients cardiovascular status
  is adequate for normal functioning. However, for
  a suitable judgement to be made, it is essential
  that this outcome be compared to a number of
  measurements over a period of time. This was not
  possible which, together with lack of practice in
  taking such measurements, means that mistakes in
  reading could have occurred and gone unnoticed.
• As already mentioned in the previous part of
  this assessment, a number of variables can affect
  blood pressure and pulse measurements taken, such
  as stress, position of the client, and
  temperature. These factors are yet another
  reason why reliance upon one reading is
  insufficient.
• (Extract 8 continues on the next slide.)

84
Extract 8 (continued)

• Another factor that may have affected the
  results is the measurement tools themselves.
  Since they are used for college purposes only,
  accuracy cannot be guaranteed.
• Therefore, these problems indicate that, for
  future practice, a number of recommendations can
  be made. They are
• the need for more accurate tools
• the need to take measurements more than once
• the need to have more practice before assessing
  an individuals health.

85

• How has the writer reflected on the practical?

86
Task 17 Answer

• The writer has reflected on the practical by
• pointing out that the data are not completely
  reliable because of the conditions under which
  the study was conducted
• concluding that, therefore, the interpretation of
  the data is limited
• signaling that such conditions need to be taken
  into consideration in a future study of this kind

87

• For the next task (Task 18) you will need to
  examine Extracts 1, 4, 5, 7, 8.

88
Task 18 Assessing the Quality of the Report

• This is a long task. The criteria for assessing
  the quality of a written assignment were
  discussed earlier. They are listed below.
• Consider whether any of these criteria are met in
  Extracts 1,4,5,7,8. Give an answer for each
  criterion separately with a reason and an example
  taken from one of the extracts.

• Evidence of understanding key concepts
• Making appropriate links between theory and
  practice
• Use of relevant literature to support arguments
• Clear and logical presentation
• Demonstrating safe and sensitive practice
• Correct referencing technique

89
Task 18 Is there evidence of understanding of
key concepts? Yes!

• Reason General statements are made about key
  biological points linking the practical activity
  with the cardiovascular system.
• Examples
• The cardiovascular system is of vital importance
  (Extract 4, P1)
• As Martini (1995) shows in the body. (Extract
  4)
• During the expansion (Hubbard and Mechan,
  1997). (Extract 5, P5)
• As Hinchliff and Montague (1996) demonstrate
  normal functioning (Marieb 1999). (Extract 5,
  P3)
• Blood pressure refers to (Extract 5, P3)
• As ventricular contraction occurs, pressure
  the arteries recoil. (Extract 5, P4)
• In healthy adults (Marieb 1999). (Extract 5,
  P6)
• The pulse fitness. (Extract 5, P5)

90
Task 18 Are there appropriate links between
theory and practice? Yes!

• Reason The student has identified key factors
  that may have influenced the findings from the
  practical activity.
• Examples
• Potential sources of error , as can the time
  of day. (Extract 7)
• In the assessment the measurement of the pulse
  and the blood pressure are vital (Extract 4,
  P2)
• Factors such as these may have a significant
  influence (Extract 1)
• The importance of gaining a normal reading a
  number of factors (Extract 5, P6)
• Abnormal rhythm (Martini, 1995). (Extract 5,
  P5)
• In the case of chronic hypertension (Martini,
  1995). (Extract 5, P6)
• systolic blood pressure averages (Marieb
  1999). (Extract 7)
• Potential sources ( based on OBrien and
  OMalley, 1981). (Extract 7)

91
Task 18 Is relevant literature used to support
arguments?Yes!

• Reason Look at the authors and dates given in
  the text extracts. These are references to what
  is known as the literature. In other words, key
  passages and theoretical statements from relevant
  books or journals that support the points being
  made by the student.
• There are frequent references to the literature
  in the second and fourth sections The
  Physiological Rationale for the Assessment and
  The Interpretation of the Data Collected. It is
  appropriate that the references are concentrated
  in these two sections as they serve the purpose
  of adding credibility to the writers argument.
  Notice how smoothly they are incorporated into
  the text.

92
Task 18Is there clear and logical
presentation?Yes!

• Reason The report is easy to follow because the
  content is well-organised. The ordering of the
  five sections is clear (as discussed in an
  earlier task). Each paragraph is well-chosen and
  sequentially well-ordered (examples of which have
  been discussed in earlier tasks). The content of
  each paragraph is clearly structured. Linking
  discourse markers are used to help the reader
  understand how the given information relates to
  the new information.
• Some examples of the many linking discourse
  markers
• She, However, (Extract 1, P1)
• Although now the client, she also, Factors
  such as these (Extract 1, P2)
• it, all other systems (Extract 4, P1)
• As Hinchliff and Montague (1996) demonstrate,
  It is this systemic arterial blood pressure
  (Extract 5, P3)
• (This answer continues on the next slide)

93
Task 18Clear and logical presentation
(continued)

• The first reading that will be taken, This
  refers to, This is the second reading (Extract
  5, P4)
• The pulse, It, For the purposes of this
  practical the pulse, Abnormal rhythm, will
  also (Extract 5, P5)
• In healthy adults the systolic blood pressure,
  Acceptable norms, The importance of gaining a
  normal reading , In the case of, The
  increased pressure, which will be outlined
  later. (Extract 5, P6)
• When doing so, it is important to note (Extract
  5, P7)
• As already mentioned, When measured,
  According to however, Being overweight, for
  example, However, it is important to note
  (Extract 7)
• The results gained from this practical,
  However, for a suitable judgement to be made,
  this outcome, This, As already mentioned,
  such as, These factors are yet another
  reason,Another factor, Since they,
  Therefore, these problems, They are (Extract
  8).

94
Task 18 Does the work demonstrate safe and
sensitive practice? Yes!

• Reason There are frequent references to the
  client that display an understanding of the
  client as a person and a knowledge of the main
  considerations in relation to the practical with
  the focus on the client. Examples
• All Extract 1, Extract 4 and Extract 5
• Particularly the reference Full details
  regarding Appendix . (Extract 5, P4)
• For the purposes of this practical (Extract
  5, P5)
• When doing so health problems. (Extract 5, P7)

95
Task 18 Is the referencing technique
correct?Yes!

• The conventional referencing system used in UK
  universities is the Harvard system. It is
  essential that the correct technique is used.
• However, note how the student uses two
  complementary styles to allow the text to flow
  naturally. Both styles are technically correct.
• As Hinchliff and Montague (1996) demonstrate
• normal functioning (Marieb, 1999).
• Visit this website...
• www.kcl.ac.uk/depsta/iss/schools/bdhmn/presenting
  /citing.html
• to learn more about the Harvard referencing
  system.

96
Task 19 Grading the report

• Decide on a grade for this report.
• A (Distinction) 70-100
• B (Merit) 60-69
• C (Pass) 50-59
• D (Bare Pass) 40 - 49
• E (Fail) below 40

97
Task 19 Answer

• The report was given Grade A .... Distinction!
• Although it had a few weaknesses, it satisfied
  all the criteria for Level 1.

98
Task 20 - 24

• The following five tasks are about an extract
  from a badly written report (Extract 9).
• You have already examined extracts from this
  report in Task 7 and Task 9 Extract 2 and
  Extract 3 respectively.
• Read Extract 9 on the next slide. You may find
  it useful to print it out so that you can study
  it more easily. Each sentence is numbered for
  ease of reference.
• For example, (S1) Sentence 1.

99
Extract 9

• (S1)To palpate a pulse, one needs to apply
  gentle presure with the index and middle finger
  compresing the artery on to the bone. (S2)
  Assessment of the pulse includes measuring rythm,
  volume rates (beats per min). (S3) In order to
  examine a pulse it has to correspond with the
  heart. (S4) When the L.V forces blood against the
  wall of the oarta according to Martini and
  Bartholomew. (S5) After having applied presure
  with the index and middle finger to compress
  oarta to the bone Mr Xs pulse from the carotid
  sight was 73 beats per minutes the brachial sight
  was 74BPM, Radial was 74 BPM.

100
Task 20 Unclear information

• Identify three parts in Extract 9 where the key
  information is unclear, either
• because it needs more expansion
• or
• because the information is incorrect
• or
• because the link is ambiguous.

101
Task 20 Answer

• In S2, rhythm, volume rates (beats per min)
  needs expanding.
• In S3, the information is incorrectly expressed
  and also needs expanding
• In S3, the linking referent it is ambiguous.
• In S4, the meaning of L.V is not given and
  therefore is not clear to the reader.
• In S5, the meaning of BPM is not made clear to
  the reader.

102
Task 21 Grammar, spelling and referencing

• Identify three mistakes in Sentence (4).
• one is grammatical
• another is about spelling
• the third is about referencing

103
Task 21 Answer

• Grammar This is not a complete sentence. There
  is no main subject or main verb. It is an adverb
  of time or manner, introduced by when.
• Spelling oarta should be aorta.
• Referencing The reference for this information
  is incomplete. The date is missing.

104
Task 22 Style - repetition

• Identify the redundant information in Sentence
  (5) i.e. unnecessary repetition of previous
  information. Also identify the contradictory
  information.

105
Task 22 Answer

• After having applied presure with the index and
  middle finger to compress oarta to the bone is
  an almost exact repetition of the information in
  S1. However, it is contradictory because S1 is
  about compressing the artery whereas S5 is about
  compressing the aorta, which is anatomically
  impossible!

106
Task 23 Improving Extract 9

• Rewrite Extract 9 by
• taking account of the mistakes that were
  identified in Tasks 20,21 and 22,
• correcting other spelling and grammar mistakes,
• using punctuation properly,
• improving the expression of the ideas by making
  structural and vocabulary changes if necessary.
• Note that there are several ways of improving
  the extract. What you will read on the next slide
  is only one suggested revision. Compare it with
  your answer in terms of grammar, spelling,
  punctuation, referencing, organising the
  information and expressing the information.

107
Task 23 Answer

• Suggested revision of Extract 9 (You will be
  able to study this revision more easily if you
  print it out. )
• (S1) To palpate a pulse, one needs to apply
  gentle pressure to the artery, preferably with
  the index and middle finger, thus compressing the
  artery against the bone. (S2) This enables the
  rhythm and the volume of the pulse to be measured
  in terms of beats per minute. (S3) This
  measurement has to correspond with the heart beat
  when the left ventricle forces blood against the
  wall of the aorta (Martini and Bartholomew,
  date). (S4) Mr. Xs pulse was found to be as
  follows
• at the carotid site 73 BPM (beats per minute)
• at the brachial site 74 BPM
• at the radial site 74 BPM.

108
Task 24Observing the use of language

• Compare the suggested revision given in the
  previous slide with Extract 9 and note the
  changes made to the grammar, the spelling, the
  punctuation, the referencing, organising the
  information and expressing the information.

109
Task 24 Answer

• Grammar the has been added in front of
  rhythm, volume and aorta because they are
  all specific and concrete, not general and
  abstract. S4 has been incorporated in S3 as an
  adverb of time.
• Spelling the corrected spellings are pressure,
  compressing, rhythm, aorta.
• Punctuation The use of full stops, commas and
  bullet points have been amended to correct
  grammar mistakes and to draw out the meaning more
  clearly.
• Referencing This measurement refers to the
  information in S2. as follows has been
  introduced to reference forwards to the results
  of measuring the pulse.
• (This answer continues on the next two slides.)

110
Task 24 Answer (continued)

• Organising the information S2 has been
  reorganised so that it links in more closely with
  S1 using the referent This. The idea of
  assessment is unnecessary because it is the
  cardiovascular status that is being assessed, not
  the pulse. Therefore it has been omitted. For the
  same two reasons, This measurement has been
  introduced in S3. Some information in S5 has been
  omitted because repeated information distracts
  the reader from the essential information. The
  essential information in S5 has been listed so
  that it is easier for the reader to grasp.
• (This answer continues on the next slide.)

111
Task 24 Answer (continued)

• Expressing the information
• thus has been added in S1 to explain how the
  information is linked in the sentence. in terms
  of has been added in S2 for the same reason.
  beat has been added in S3. Without it, the
  information is incorrect.
• In S3, L.V is an incorrect abbreviation because
  there is no dot after V. Neither has it been
  explained which is why, in the revised version,
  it is written out in full.
• S5, which is S4 in the revised version, is much
  more concisely expressed than before. BPM is
  explained once in the brackets. This suffices for
  any other use of BPM throughout the whole text.

112

• Well done!
• You have completed the programme
• You have worked on the following-
• Past students personal expectations and
  experiences of moving into higher education,
• Assessment in higher education at Level 1,
• What academic writing is about,
• Writing an assignment for Nursing Studies at
  Level 1
• length,
• the key features of content, organisation and
  language through critically comparing extracts
  from two different assignments and further
  examining extracts from a well-written report
  for cohesion and coherence, using references,,
  the purpose of appendices, applying the
  assessment criteria to grade the well-written
  report,
• examining an extract from a poor report for
  cohesion and coherence, grammar, spelling,
  punctuation, referencing, organisation of
  information, expression.

Section V
113
Section VI

• The next step
• You can follow up the work you have done in this
  programme in two ways.

114
Firstly with more task work

• Further tasks on academic writing can be found
  on the LNI website
• www.lni.org.uk

115
Secondly, by getting more information

• You can refer to the following books and
  websites for further information
• Crème, P. and Lea, M. (1999) Writing at
  University A guide for Students Open University
  Press
• Leech, G., Cruickshank, B. and Ivanic, R. (2001)
  An A-Z of English Grammar Usage Longman

http//www.uefap.co.uk/index.htm http//web.bham.a
c.uk/johnstf/timeap3.htm
116
Well done!

• You have come to the end of the programme.
• We wish you a stimulating and successful future
  in higher education.