Understanding Bullying

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Understanding Bullying

• Taking a Stand Against Bullying
• Parent Presentation

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What We Will Cover

• Definition of bullying
• Bullying Myths
• Victims
• Bullies
• Cyberbulling
• Handouts

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First AmendmentCant I Say What I Think?
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Its a free country? Cant I do and say what I
want at school?

• People at school are not as free to come and go
  as they are elsewhere in the broader community,
  and since they have to be where they are
  assigned, they are entitled to an environment
  free of harassment and discrimination.

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Bullying is Unlawful
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Bullying isAs defined by state law

• An intentional written, verbal or physical act,
  including but not limited to one shown to be
  motivated by any characteristic such as race,
  color, religion, ancestry, national origin,
  gender, sexual orientation, mental or physical
  disability, or other distinguishing
  characteristics, when the intentional act

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State Law

• (a) Physically harms a student or damages his/her
  property or
• (b) Substantially interferes with the students
  education or
• (c) Is so severe, persistent or pervasive that it
  creates an intimidating or threatening
  educational environment or
• (d) substantially disrupts the orderly operation
  of a school

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Two requirements for conduct to trigger potential
liability for unlawful harassment or bullying

• (1) the conduct must be unwelcome and
• (2) the conduct must be sufficiently severe or
  pervasive to unreasonably interfere with a
  students ability to get an education in the mind
  of the victim and from the perspective of a
  reasonable person in the victims position.

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Intent vs Impact

• The statement, "I didn't mean anything by it,"
  does not matter.
• All that matters is the impact of the your
  behavior.

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Bullying Happens in Four Ways

• Written
• Notes, emails, pictures
• Verbal
• Teasing, jokes, ignoring/isolation, gossip,
  threats
• Physical
• Blocking someones path, physical restraint,
  pushing/kicking, hazing
• Sexual
• Teasing, touching, slapping,, graffiti, sexual
  assault
• Property
• Hiding belongings, theft, arson, extortion,
  vandalism, destruction

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Types of Bullying Verbal

• Accounts for 70 of reported bullying
• used by both boys and girls
• easy to get away with
• quick painless for bully, can be devastating
  for the victim
• involves false or malicious rumors, gossip
• may include name calling, taunting, belittling,
  racial slurs, sexually suggestive or abusive
  remarks

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Types of Bullying Physical

• Accounts for about 30 of bullying
• slapping, hitting, choking, kicking, poking,
  punching
• older and stronger the bully, the greater the
  likelihood of serious physical harm
• most troubled of all bullies more likely to move
  to more serious criminal offences over time
• Most frequent type used by boys

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Types of Bullying Relational

• Most difficult to detect
• ignoring, shunning, excluding or isolating with
  the shunning and rumor combination as the most
  powerful
• used to alienate a peer, ruin friendships
• most powerful in middle school years
• Most frequent type used by girls

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Simply stated, bullying

• Bullying is a learned behavior
• It is a conscious, willful, deliberate act of
  hostility intended to harm, induce fear through
  the threat of further aggression
• Happens repeatedly and over time
• An imbalance of power or strength peer abuse

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Bullying is.

• an imbalance of power
• an intention to cause emotional /or physical
  pain
• a threat of further aggression
• not about anger or conflict -it is about
  contempt, entitlement
• Arrogance in Action!

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Difference Between...

• Teasing
• swap roles with ease
• isnt intended to hurt
• pokes fun, light-hearted
• innocent motive
• discontinues when person becomes upset or objects
  to teasing

• Bullying
• is one-sided, power basis
• intended to harm
• humiliating, cruel, thinly disguised as just
  joking
• laughter directed AT target, not WITH target
• continues regardless of objections

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Differentiating Bullying from NormalPeer
Conflict/Mean Behavior

• Normal conflict/mean behavior
• Equal power or are friends
• Happens occasionally
• Accidental
• Equal emotional reaction
• Not seeking power
• Remorse-will take responsibility
• Effort to solve the problem

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Differentiating Bullying from NormalPeer
Conflict/Mean Behavior

• Bullying
• Imbalance of power
• Repeated negative actions
• Intentional
• Physical or emotional harm
• Unequal emotional reaction
• Seeking control/material things
• No remorse-blames target
• No effort to solve the problem

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Prevalence Rate

• Bullying occurs once every 7 minutes
• Occurs once every 25 minutes in the classroom
• Bullying stops within 10 seconds 57 of the time
  when peers intervene
• 85 of students indicate that watching bullying
  makes them uncomfortable

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Prevalence Rates

• More prevalent during late elementary through
  middle school years
• Increases after age 8 years grade 3
• Reaches a peak in grades 6-8
• Declines after grade 8, but slowly
• More males than females are bullied

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Characteristics Bully Victim

• Character differences are distinct
• Bullies display an angry behavioral style,
  stronger, chip on the shoulder approach
• Victims tend to be sad and anxious, often
  fearful, especially in the face of social demands

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Who Gets Targeted by Bullies?

• Students who dont fit in are more at risk
• Being emotional seems to mark some victims angry
  outbursts or crying
• Students who have trouble making friends or
  breaking into peer associations/groups
• 80 of taunting experienced by children ages
  9-11yrs has to do with appearance standards and
  personal hygiene

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Bullying is not...

• Normal childhood conflict like sibling rivalry or
  1 to 1 fighting or arguing
• an act of impulsive aggression
• an indiscriminate behavior, e.g. no intended
  victim
• a random act

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Five Myths About Bullying

• TRUE-FALSE QUIZ

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Ten Myths About Bullying

• A TRUE-FALSE QUIZ

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1. Bullying is not the same thing as
conflict.

• TRUE. Bullying is aggressive behavior that
  involves an imbalance of power or strength.
  Often, bullying is repeated over time.

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2. Most bullying is physical (involves hitting,
shoving, kicking).

• FALSE. Physical bullying may be what first comes
  to mind when adults think about bullying.
  However, the most common form of bullyingboth
  for boys and girlsis verbal bullying (e.g.,
  name-calling, rumor spreading). It is also common
  for youth to bully each other through social
  isolation (e.g., shunning or leaving a child out
  on purpose).

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3. Bullying isnt serious. Its just a matter of
kids being kids.

• FALSE. Children who are bullied are more likely
  than other children to have lower self-esteem
  and higher rates of depression, loneliness,
  anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. They also are
  more likely to want to avoid attending school and
  have higher school absenteeism rates.

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4. Bullying doesnt happen at my childs
school.

• FALSE (probably). Studies show that between
  15-25 of U.S. students are bullied with some
  frequency ("sometimes or more often") while 15-
  20 admit that they bully others with some
  frequency within a school term.

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5. Bullying is mostly a problem in urban schools.

• FALSE. Bullying occurs in rural, suburban, and
  urban communities, and among children of every
  income level, race, and geographic region.

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6. Children and youth who are bullied will almost
never tell an adult.

• TRUE. Most studies find that only 25-50 of
  bullied children talk to an adult about the
  bullying. Boys and older children are less likely
  than girls and younger children to tell adults
  about bullying.

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7. Bullying is more likely to happen on the bus
than at school.

• FALSE. Most surveys indicate that bullying is
  more likely to occur on school grounds. Common
  locations for bullying include playgrounds, the
  classroom, the cafeteria, bathrooms, and
  hallways.

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8. Children who bully are mostly loners with few
social skills.

• FALSE. Children who bully usually do not lack
  friends. In fact, some research finds that they
  have larger friendship networks than other
  children. Importantly, they usually have at least
  a small group of friends who support and
  encourage their bullying behavior.

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9. Bullied kids should not have to deal with
bullying on their own.

• TRUE. Children shouldnt be expected to deal with
  bullying on their own. Bullying is a form of
  victimization or peer abuse.

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10. Most children and youth who observe bullying
dont want to get involved.

• FALSE. The good news is that most children and
  youth think that bullying is not cool and feel
  that they should do something if they see it
  happen. In a recent study of teens, (Brown,
  Birch, Kancherla, 2005), 56 said that they
  usually either say or do something to try to stop
  bullying that they observe or tell someone who
  could help.

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For the target, bullyingis a loss experience.

• LOSS of safety
• LOSS of self-esteem
• LOSS of belonging
• LOSS of control over their own life

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Effects of Bullying onthe Target

• Physical Effects
• Stomach aches
• Weight loss/gain
• Headaches
• Drop in grades
• Drug or alcohol use
• Sexual activity
• Physical aggression
• Suicidal
• Homicidal

• Emotional Effects
• Alienation
• Low self-esteem
• Insecurity
• FEAR
• Depression
• Withdrawn
• Aggression
• Anger
• Vengeful

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Warning Signsthat your child may be the target
of bullies

• Frequently teased, taunted belittled, ridiculed,
  intimidated threatened, dominated or subdued
• Has a derogatory nickname
• Regularly has bruises or injuries that cant be
  explained
• Has belongings taken or damaged
• Few or no close friends at school

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Warning Signs

• Frequently socially isolated
• Less assertive or lacks the skills to respond to
  others teasing or harassment
• Appears weak or easily dominated
• Tries to stay close to a teacher or other adult
  at recess or breaks

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What To Doif you suspect your child is being
bullied

• Talk with your child
• If your child is being bullied, they need to have
  a voice in how the situation is handled.
• Contact the school
• Contact police or school resource officer

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Recommendationsif you suspect your child is
being bullied

• Dont encourage your child to fight backtwo
  wrongs dont make a right!
• Listen to your child, do not ignore your childs
  plea for help.
• Dont confront the parents or the other child
  directly.
• Avoid bringing your child and the bully together
  to elicit an apology or resolve the issue.
• Diary their day at school each night.

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What about the bully?

• Studies show that children identified as bullies
  by age 8 are six times more likely to be
  convicted of a crime by age 24.
• 60 of kids characterized as bullies in the 6th-
  9th grade had at least one criminal conviction by
  age 24. Brewster
  Railsback
• Bullies are five times more likely to end up with
  a serious criminal record by age 30.
  National Association of School Psychologists

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Warning Signsthat your child may be bullying
others

• Frequent name-calling
• Regular bragging
• A need to always get his/her own way
• Spending more time with younger or less powerful
  kids
• A lack of empathy for others
• A defiant or hostile attitude easily takes
  offense
• Frequent misbehavior at school (e.g. name
  calling, teasing, intimidating, physical
  aggression)

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What To Doif you suspect your child may be
bullying others

• Talk with your child
• Never condone bullying behavior speak up and
  tell your child that the behavior they are
  engaging in is considered bullying.
• Encourage empathy for others
• Remind your child that everyone has a right to be
  themselves, to choose their own friends and to
  feel safe at school.

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What To Do

• Reinforce respectful behaviors at home
• Contact the school for help
• Set up a meeting with your childs teacher's) or
  counselor.
• Develop a plan for change.

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What Can Bystanders Do About Bullying?(other
students)

• Have EMPATHY how would you feel if you were
  being bullied?
• Be a friend and have at least one good friend who
  will stick with you through thick and thin
• Be part of a group and know when to leave the
  group if it is not serving you well
• Include those students who seem to be left out
• Be willing to help someone

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Continued.

• When you see someone being bullied, tell an adult
• If you cant stop the bullying, walk away, get
  help from an adult, and get others to do the same
  bullies want an audience

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Internet Safety

• Why do you need to be concerned?
• What can parents do to reduce the risks?

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Why do parents need to be concerned?

• Serious incidents are occurring daily
• Kids want to trust people
• People on chat lines (MSN) may be lying

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Cyberbullying Methods

• E-mails-emailing gossip to groups, forwarding
  private mail
• Chat rooms-virtual room, real-time conversations
• Instant messaging-subscribers create a contact
  list of those they want to communicate with

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Cyberbullying Methods

• Masquerading-stealing each others passwords or
  screen names for impersonation purposes
• Blogs-web logs a widely read diary or online
  journal
• Text messaging-mini, wireless emails sent between
  cellphone users electronic way of passing notes
  in school or photos and post to the internet
  instantly.

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Reducing the Risks..

• Establish rules for internet use
• Keep the computer in a common space
• Have your kids check with you before setting up
  something online.
• Kids should not send photos of themselves unless
  you approve
• Kids need to check with parents before going into
  a chat room

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Reducing the Risks..

• Kids need to be told never to agree to meet
  anyone they meet online without parental
  permission
• Learn what your child is doing on the internet
• Know what websites they are visiting
• Monitor your credit card bills

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Messages for your Children

• If someone online asks too many personal
  questions be suspicious and disconnect
• Think before you send an email you cant control
  where your words will go
• If kids receive unwanted, mean, threatening,
  offensive, harassing email, they need to report
  it to an adult

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Together, students, staff, andparents

• Taking a stand against bullying" to promote
  safe, respectful, nurturing learning communities.