JMSC0017 Feature Writing Presentation

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• JMSC0017 Feature Writing Presentation
• Analysis Where the coal is stained with
  bloodA well written feature is a joy to read.
  It might not be a subject that the reader knows
  much about or even cares about, but if is well
  written it will carry them along, informing,
  entertaining or simply amusing.
• Presenter Joanne Cheung

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A story about the awful condition of coal
miners..

• blood the headline.
• Chinese pay in blood for their countrys
  economic success Paragraph 3, line 7
• blood coal Paragraph 4, line 2
• lesson drawn in blood Paragraph 6, line 7,
• The cash to buy their cars and toys will come
  from the sweat -- and perhaps blood -- of men
  like Xie Daibing Paragraph 13, line 3 etc.

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The theme of the article was not merely to point
out what is wrong, but to say

• China's reliance on coal to fuel its economic
  growth has caused soaring deaths among miners and
  a major environmental crisis that the central
  government has been unable to stop because
  of corruption among local governments and mine
  operators. 

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This article

• a news feature
• goes deeper than the headlines explores the
  issue thoroughly
• has great reportinge.g. second paragraph

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Great feature writing is built on great
reporting.

• The writer learns enough about the subject so
  that he or she can write about it accurately and
  clearly, using only what the reader needs to know
  to understand and appreciate the story .

• background information e.g. information on
  Chinas reliance on coal China is the worlds
  biggest consumer of coal Paragraph 3, line 3
• statistics on the death toll e.g. Paragraph 3,
  line 8 ,
• quotations from interviews of experts e.g.
  Interviewing the editor of the China Economic
  Quarterly in paragraph 4 and coal miners etc

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The writers also

• invites readers into a well-researched article by
  introducing us to an old miner worried about his
  son who works in a mine in the next county.
• Right away, that connects readers to the human
  dimension of this story.

? Overview Story
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Analysis Language and Structure

• (1) Language The language used in the article is
  concise.
• For example, Coal powers China Paragraph 3,
  line 1.
• The writers managed to KISS and tell. Keep It
  (sentence) Short and Simple and tell the
  story.

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(2) Structure

• The art of feature writing is to be creative and
  flexible within a distinct structure

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A Lead/ intro Old Zhao, his fellow miners
called him. Paragraph 1

• a descriptive, narrative style is used at the
  outset of the story.
• The writers introduced Old Zhao at the beginning
  of the story to show a typical coal miner a
  weary-looking man, wearing a yellow safety helmet
  and a miners lamp strung around his neck, black
  coal dust embedded .. (Paragraph I line 1-4).

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• Furthermore, the writers used their powers of
  observation
• E.g. paused to light a cigarette paragraph 1,
  line 7-8
• The concise language and observation enabled the
  writers to create an image of the men who die in
  the mines in China -- and thus invite readers
  into the story.

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Building on the intro .

• Once an intro has established the who Old
  Zhao and what danger of Chinas coal mining,
  the second paragraph builds on the information,
  placing the introductory points onto a wider
  canvas.

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Middles .

• Paragraph 3 onwards begins to tell readers what
  the feature is about -- what its main theme is
• It establishes the news angle. It provides
  reference and background that underlines what is
  wrong with Chinas mining sector

And Then

• Subsequent paragraphs offer the reader more
  facts, anecdotes and quotes

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And Finally.towards the end of the article
paragraph10

• Final paragraph/ Ending serves the purpose of
  rounding the whole piece off.

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The last paragraph

• The question is whether anyone in Zuoyun Country
  will listen." (last paragraph, last line)
• Reminds readers of the underlying problem the
  inability of the central government to get local
  authorities to follow orders.

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Linking

• The news feature has a beginning, middle and an
  end. There are linking words and phrases that one
  can use to move form one block of text to the
  next.

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Examples of Good transition phrase

• e.g. The accident at Zuoyun, where Old Zhao
  recovered the bodies of dead miners, sums up
  everything that is wrong with Chinas mining
  sector. paragraph 10(Good transition as it
  links the middle back to the beginning, i.e.
  Zuoyun accident)
• e.g. It is a challenge that the state does not
  yet know how to meet. (paragraph 12) links back
  to the previous paragraph - this is a direct
  challenge to the authority of state laws and
  regulations (paragraph 11)

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Differences in quotes
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(1) as a direct quote

• e.g. Many of them are very young -- just boys,
  Zhao says, pausing to light a cigarette.
  (Paragraph 1, line 7)
• e.g. Mining is the perfect case study of
  central-government relations with local
  government in China, says Arthur Kroeber, editor
  of the China Economic Quarterly. (Paragraph 4,
  line 7)

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(2) as an indirect quote

• They are used to save space and time, and to
  summarize what a speaker might have said in a
  long-winded or complicated way.
• e.g. The only illumination comes from candles in
  small lamps attached to the miners heads but
  Chinese mines are particularly prone to gas
  explosions, says Munro, making named flames
  extremely dangerous. paragraph 9, line 8

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(3) as a partial quote

• Partial quotes are shorter sections of a longer
  quote.
• They are used instead of the full quote to save
  time and space, and to help summarize.

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Examples

• e.g. Li Yizhong, head of the State Administration
  of Work Safety Supervision, described the carnage
  as unprecedented. Paragraph 2, line8
• e.g. Wen has stayed involved in the issue,
  regularly expressing concern for miners and their
  families and once tearfully instructing officials
  to learn lessons drawn in blood. Paragraph 6,
  line 7

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4) as other attributable statements

• This is information available to writers from
  other sources, available on the public record,
  and that can be used without reference to an
  individual speaker or using marks.

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Examples

• e.g. According to accounts in the
  state-controlled media, such small mines, which
  account for a third of Chinas total coal output,
  are commonly subcontracted by local governments
  to individuals. Paragraph 8, line 1
• e.g. When the news of the collapse emerged, the
  media has alleged, the contractors tried to cover
  up the seriousness of the accident y reporting
  that only five men were trapped, a delay the
  authorities say impaired rescue operations.
  Paragraph 10, line 11

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(3) What Where the coal is stained with Blood
contains..

• All the Ws
• Peg
• Angle
• Facts
• Writers observation
• Quotes direct, indirect, partial quote, other
  attributable statements

• Attribution
• Topicality
• Keep it local
• Color
• Tones (refers to how you say something)
• Voice (relates to the words the writers use)
• Expert/knowledgeable friend/gossip

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In terms of its elements

• This article is a rich feature story.

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Glossary ..

• Carnage slaughter the savage and excessive
  killing of many people Paragraph 2, line
• hell-for-leather at breakneck speed "they were
  travelling hell-for-leather" Paragraph 5, line
• Full-fledged (of persons e.g.) having gained
  full status Paragraph 6, line
• ramp up build up bolster or strengthen/ to
  increase Paragraph 8, line

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The end of presentation