Peace and Justice: The Power of Forgiveness

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Peace and Justice The Power of Forgiveness

• Presented by James W. Bartee, Ph.D. to the Bahá'í
  Association of Mental Health Professionals
• Green Acre, Maine Oct. 2005

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A Central Principle

• There is virtually no spiritual or religious
  tradition, past or present, that does not
  establish the importance of forgiveness
• Bahá'í teachings explicitly state that religion
  is in harmony with science (Abdul-Bahá The
  Promulgation of Universal Peace, pg. 128)

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Views from the therapeutic window

• Why does the heart hold on to pain remembered?
• Why do we get stuck in processing certain kinds
  of emotional material related to feelings of
  injustice?
• Can, should we help clients forgive?
• What informs that clinical decision, and what
  models and tools are available to us?

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Burgeoning of Scholarly Interest

• Over 1000 articles have been published since 1990
  in the medical and psychological literature on
  forgiveness
• A variety of topical areas haven been
  investigated

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• Trauma/Violence
• Sexual Abuse
• Genocide
• Psychological Development
• General Health Stress
• Chronic Pain Management
• Conflict Resolution
• Anger Management
• Loss/Bereavement
• Restorative Justice
• Marriage

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Virtual Intersection

• A plethora of initiatives, projects and models
  have emerged as psychological science turns its
  attention to the virtue of forgiveness
• Example The Forgiveness Project1613 Duke
  StreetAlexandria, VA 22314 U.S.A.Email
  info_at_forgiving.org

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http//www.forgiving.org/
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And We Will Need Training
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A Bahá'í Perspective

• The tent of existence is upheld upon the pillar
  of justice and not upon forgiveness. The
  continuance of mankind depends upon justice and
  not upon forgiveness. (Abdu'l-Baha, Some Answered
  Questions, p. 269)
• But what is the relationship of justice to
  forgiveness?

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• Christ refers to the conduct of two individuals
  toward each other if one person assaults
  another, the injured one should forgive him.
  (Abdu'l-Baha, Some Answered Questions, p. 270)
• The community has no ill-will and rancor in the
  infliction of punishment, and it does not desire
  to appease the anger of the heart its purpose is
  by punishment to protect others so that no
  atrocious actions may be committed. (Abdu'l-Baha,
  Some Answered Questions, p. 268)

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Justice and Forgiveness

• Justice is ultimately in the hands of God and the
  Houses of Justice
• there is distinction drawn in the Faith between
  the attitudes which should characterize
  individuals in their relationship to other
  people, namely, loving forgiveness, forbearance,
  and concern with one's own sins not the sins of
  others, and those attitudes which should be shown
  by the Spiritual Assemblies, whose duty is to
  administer the Law of God with justice."

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As Between Ourselves

• Forgiveness is something one person offers
  another through rational problem solving and a
  decision to show mercy
• This is the focus of current scholarly study

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Scholarly Models Theories of Forgiveness

• Enright Fitzgibbons have presented a well
  formed and operationalized attempt at defining
  the concept
• Forgiveness is centered in morality, whichis
  concerned with the quest for the good.
• There are twin aspects justice and mercy.

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Enright Fitzgibbons

• Forgiveness is the merciful response
  toinjustice.
• Forgiveness is the genuine desire for good
  toward the one who unfairly hurt him or her.
• One gives up what one has a right to
  (resentment)
• One gives to another that which is not
  necessarily deserved

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Formal Definition

• People, upon rationally determining that they
  have been unfairly treated, forgive when they
  willfully abandon resentment and related
  responses to the wrongdoer based on the moral
  principle of beneficence, which may include
  compassion, unconditional worth, generosity, and
  moral love (to which the wrongdoer, by nature of
  the hurtful act or acts, has no right.)

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Forgiveness is

• A continuum --
• in level
• in degree
• across time
• In ones awareness of it
• Developmental Model
• Affected by many factors
• Determined by cognitive, emotional and spiritual
  processes

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Forgiveness is not

• Pardon or lenience in judicial contexts
• Condoning, justifying or excusing
• Reconciling
• Balancing the scales
• Just saying the words

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• Forgiveness is not a technique, but a process
  developing out of a moral sense of the other
  persons goodness.
• it is a moral principle founded on beneficence.

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Developing Forgiveness

• A phase/stage model
• Uncoveringhas an injustice injury compromised
  ones life?
• Decisionone considers if one wants to forgive
  (as defined).
• Workgtgtnew cognitions about the othergtgt new
  feelings
• Deepening insights into ones life at
  broader/deeper level
• May lead to further uncovering

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What Can Be Forgiven?

• Interpersonal experience stemming from
• Trauma, grief, loss
• Violence, assault
• Sexual, alcohol or drug abuse
• Betrayal by family, friends colleagues
• Events that want revenge

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Nine Step Program

• Don't deny or repress the anger, hurt, or shame.
  Accept that it's there, and commit yourself to
  doing something to help.
• Don't identify the person who's hurt you and
  leave it at that. Pinpoint the behavior that has
  hurt you.
• Choose not to nurse a grudge or to seek revenge.
  Make the choice to forgive. This "heart
  conversion" is the crucial step.

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• Explain to yourself why you've chosen this path.
  This need not be for lofty reasons. It can be,
  for example, that letting go of the grievance
  will allow you to enjoy the benefits of your
  marriage, or better concentrate on your work.
• Think differently about the person who committed
  the wrong. Think about his or her own
  vulnerabilities. Walk a bit in the other person's
  shoes.
• Bear the pain, but decide not to pass it on --
  including to the person who hurt you in the first
  place.

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• Decide instead to offer goodwill, generosity,
  mercy, "moral love." This can, but doesn't have
  to, include a reconciliation.
• Reflect on how it feels to have given up the
  burden or grudge. Recognize emotional relief.
  Find meaning in the suffering you've faced and
  overcome.
• Discover the paradox of forgiveness As you give
  to others the gift of mercy, you are being
  healed.

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Benefits of Forgiveness

• Improved health parameters hypertension, heart,
  IBS, sleep, energy (via reductions in stress
  levels)
• Reduced depression anxiety
• Improved personal relationships
• Life satisfaction

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Anna Freuds Wisdom

• Speaking of a woman with a long and troubled
  past,
• What she needs...is forgiveness. She needs to
  make peace with her soul, not talk about her
  mind.

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Caveats for Clinicians

• Timing is critical
• Whose agenda is operating?
• Technical neutrality
• Scientific foundations
• Avoid moralizing
• Non-judgmental model
• Support the process, not the outcome

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Peace of Soul

• In giving forgiveness to the other, one gives to
  the self the gradual reinstatement of spiritual
  health
• One can go forward with ones life free of the
  burden and cost that a heart filled with
  bitterness, resentment, rancor, anger and the
  desire for vengeance imposes.

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Portia Act IV, Scene I

• The quality of mercy is not strained It
  droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the
  place beneath. It is twice blest It blesses him
  that gives, and him that takes. It is an
  attribute of God himself and earthly power doth
  then show likest Gods when mercy seasons
  justice.