Its Tough Being a Kid

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(No Transcript)
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HELPING YOUR FRIENDSDURING TOUGH TIMES

• Presented by
• Lynne Osborn
• University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
• Southwest Four

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Goals

• Better understand stress and its causes
• Recognize signs of stress
• Know techniques to manage stress
• Improve communications skills
• Learn where to go for help

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Causes of stress

• Life situations
• Health
• Things you cant control
• Other causes

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Recognizing Signs of Stress

• Physical
• muscle tension
• headaches
• digestive problems
• breathing and cardiovascular problems
• energy
• other

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Recognizing Signs of Stress

• Emotional
• mental disorganization
• nightmares
• sadness
• acting out
• other

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Recognizing Signs of Stress

• Cognitive
• mental block
• fantasies
• procrastination
• escapism
• loss of interest
• grades go down
• other

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Recognizing Signs of Stress

• Relationships
• increased competitiveness
• loss of listening skills
• family blowups
• communication breakdowns
• conflicts
• abuse, both verbal and physical
• sarcastic arguments
• other

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Signs Which Indicate a Need for Professional Help

• Extremes in behavior
• Depression
• Risky sexual practices
• Unusual antisocial behavior
• Personality changes
• Drug and alcohol use
• Talk about suicide

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Resources Available to Help

• ESU psychologist
• Local mental health professionals
• COMHT (Nebraska Counseling, Outreach and Mental
  Health Therapy program)
• Designed to make cost-free, confidential mental
  health counseling available
• Other

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How you can help your friends

• Different people require different strategies
• Physical
• Exercise
• Deep breathing
• Muscle relaxation
• Good health
• Diet/low sugar low caffeine

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Emotional and mental

• Mental pictures
• Positive pep talks
• Move from worrying to problem solving
• Spiritual health
• Positive thinking
• Emotional gardening, weeding
• Laughter
• Creativity

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Relabeling can help manage stress

• Ive never done it before
• Its too complicated
• I dont have the resources
• It wont work

• I can be first
• Lets look at it from a different angle
• Necessity is the mother of invention
• Ill give it a try

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Communication skills to help

• Establishing rapport
• Listen
• Offer a safe place
• Maintain good eye contact
• Be empathetic
• Remember the problem isnt yours and your friend
  doesnt want or need pity
• Let them be in control
• Appropriate touching
• Use common sense

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Warm listening skills

• Respect the information they share
• Show you understand what they are going through
• Dont question, criticize or make suggestions
• Communicate acceptance
• Value what the person thinks and feels
• You dont have to agree with everything
• seems to me sounds like I have the feeling
• Offer examples of personal experiences, feelings
• Silence

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Using words and silence

• Words let friends know theyve been heard
• Silence use when friends need to know theyve
  been heard.

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Hot listening skills

• Use when intense feelings emerge
• Step back
• Keep friends feelings in perspective
• Dont become frightened by emotional responses
• Avoid overreacting
• Use common sense
• Validate the feelings being expressed
• Help redirect energy of friends experience into
  goals or skills

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Encouragement and problem- solving

• Encourage friend to make and achieve goals vital
  to their well-being
• Help develop a plan of action
• Consider alternatives
• Who can help
• Possible resources
• Additional training, other employment

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• Know your limitations
• Be honest about your abilities
• Encourage friend to seek professional help if
  needed
• engage in lifecrafting
• Brainstorm alternatives

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Summary

• Signs of Stress
• physical
• emotional
• cognitive
• relationships
• Signs indicating need for professional help
• extremes in behavior

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Resources

• Families Taking Charge Helping Children Cope,
  Virginia Cooperative Extension, Virginia
  Polytechnic Institute and State University,
  345-097 (1993).
• Johnson, Cynthia. Helping Your Child Deal With
  Stress, North Carolina Cooperative Extension
  Service, North Carolina State University, HE-371.
• Keeping Families First, University of Nebraska
  Cooperative Extension, http//www.ianr.unl.edu/ian
  r/coopext/familiesfirst/coping.htm
• Lingren, Herbert. Children and Stress,
  University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension, NF
  98-387.
• Lingren, Herbert. Dont Let Stress Get You Down,
  University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension,
• g98-1365-A.
• Lingren, Herbert. How To Manage Daily Stress,
  University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension, NF
  98-388.
• Lingren, Herbert. Rural Families Facing Economics
  and Emotional Stress,. University of Nebraska
  Cooperative Extension, NF 93-155.

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Resources

• Managing Drought Stress and Family Resources,
  North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service,
  AG-5117-1 (December 1994).
• Meecham, Marilyn. Reaching Out to Rural
  Nebraska, Interchurch Ministries of Nebraska.
• Principles of Parenting, Auburn University,
  http//www.humsci.auburn.edu/parent/stress/index.h
  tml
• Russell, Stephen. Economic Stress in the Lives
  of Youth, Ups and Downs of Adolescence,
  University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension,
  February, 1999.
• Silliman, Ben. String Out Your Stress,
  University of Wyoming Cooperative Extension
  Service.
• Steffens, Pat. Lets Talk About Handling Stress,
  University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension, NF
  92-54.
• Assisted by Rosalie Bakken, Extension
  Adolescent Specialist, University of
  Nebraska John DeFrain, Family Comm. Dev.
  Specialist, University of Nebraska Jennifer
  Frasier, Office Manager, Dundy County Extension

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Cooperative Extension Southwest Four Extension
Unit
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension
educational programs abide with the
non-discrimination policies of the University of
Nebraska-Lincoln and the United States Department
of Agriculture.
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PowerPoint presentation created by Lynne Osborn,
Extension Educator University of Nebraska
Cooperative Extension