Koinonias Special talk on: Looking for Real Community

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Koinonias Special talk on Looking for Real
Community

• February 29, 2008

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Introduction

• What do you look for in a community? What are the
  biggest challenges to experiencing real
  community?
• Student Interviews - Video clip

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Outline for Tonights Talk

• Vanishing Community
• Attempts to Reconnect
• What the Bible says

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Vanishing Community

• Whatever the reason, it appears that Americans
  are connected far less tightly now than they were
  19 years ago.
• - McPherson, Smith-Lovin, Brashears, Social
  Isolation in America, 2006
• "People watch Friends on TV -- they don't have
  them."
• Robert Putnam, Author of Bowling Alone,
  NPRs All Things Considered Interview, 5/31/2000

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Bowling Alone

• We are bowling alone. While a record number of
  Americans bowl today, bowling in organized
  leagues plunged 40 percent from 1980 to 1993.
• Source Harvards JFK School of Governments
  Saguaro Seminar website

• Community ? Endangered species!

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Less Interaction

• Over last 25 years
• Attending Club Meetings 58 drop
• Having friends over 60 drop
• Family dinners 50 ? 34 drop
• Joining Participating in one group ?Lowers your
  odds of dying next year by 50!
• Source http//www.ksg.harvard.edu/saguaro/faqs.ht
  m

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Fewer Close Friends

• From 1985 2004 surveys on confidants
• Most frequent response (25) No one
• Almost half (44) have 0 or 1
• Average Dropped 3 to 2
• Source - Miller McPherson, Lynn Smith-Lovin,
  Matthew E. Brashears Social Isolation in
  America, 2006

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Decreasing Trust

• In 1960, 55 Americans said others could be
  trusted most or all of the time
• In 1998, 30 felt the same
• Decline sharpest among youth
• Source http//www.ksg.harvard.edu/saguaro/faqs.h
  tm

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Longing for Community

• Loneliness is now a national epidemic according
  to many sociologists and psychologists
• Jane Brady, NY Times
• Loneliness is the 1 problem for young people in
  America Associated Press

• Even at large campus in your room
• At best of times worst of times

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From a recent national survey

• So many people admit to lacking relational
  connections The common solution is to keep
  busy and to stimulate ourselves with a variety of
  new experiences - that way we are not so likely
  to feel the pain of those fundamental holes in
  our life. People have discovered that if
  they fill the gaps with commitments and
  excitement, then they're less prone to feel the
  emptiness of loneliness

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(it continues)

• Of course, that just prolongs the inner despair
  that eventually cannot be suppressed any
  longer..." George Barna,
  August 2000

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Deal w/ disconnectedness by

• Attaining success
• Too busy to think about loneliness
• Filling ourselves with entertainment
• TV, movies, music
• Internet

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Other Attempts to Reconnect

• Virtual Communities
• e.g., Facebook
• Role playing video games
• e.g., EverQuest

• an early experimental study found that
  extensive internet usage seemed to cause greater
  social isolation and even depression. Robert
  Putnam, Bowling Alone, p.179

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Limits of Internet Community

• Anonymity and fluidity in the virtual world
  encourage easy in, easy out, drive-by
  relationships. That very casualness is the appeal
  of computer-mediated communication but it
  discourages the creation of social capital
  community. If entry and exit are too easy,
  commitment, trustworthiness, and reciprocity will
  not develop. Robert Putnam, Bowling Alone,
  p.177

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Why is it so hard to connect?

• Finding someone who will love you
• e.g. 2 bankrupt companies
• I thought you had the
• ? Were bankrupt of love
• Fear of being rejected
• when others know the real me

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Imposter Phenomenon

• The real me our image dont match
• e.g. Cool image, but insecure inside
• So, we are afraid our masks will be revealed

• ? We want people to know us but we dont
  want people to really know us

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Doubly disconnected

• We are disconnected with others
• AND ourselves.
• ? Intense longing to trust someone, to feel
  safe with someone.

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What the Bible says

• Man created as relational beings
• To love and to be loved
• Sin severed all relationships
• Increasing alienation loss of connectedness
• Were a society of orphans

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God knows us personally

• Psalm 139 says,You have searched me and you
  know meYou perceive my thoughts from afarYou
  are familiar with all my ways
• God sees through my masks knows all about me
  (even the darkest secrets)
• And yet, God still loves me
• ...with a love that is personal, unconditional
  un-ending

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Key defining relationships

• Parents ? Connecting link between siblings
• Defines family relationship connectedness
• God is our Heavenly Father
• Psalm 1331 How good and pleasant it is when
  brothers live together in unity!

? God provides defining backdrop which defines
our relationship with one another
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Relationship with God provides

• Proper connection with others
• See others as brothers sisters
• Church ? Family of God
• A safe home with the love of God

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Conclusion

• Lack of community today
• Wrong solutions lead to further disconnectedness
  (w/ yourself)
• Solution found in a proper relationship with God

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Come and Join Our Real Community

• Koinonia Friday Bible study
• Fridays _at_ 700 pm, 1001 Giedt Hall