Designed by: Regina Crews, Secretary of Student Support Services

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The Power of Positve Self Talk

• Designed by Regina Crews, Secretary of Student
  Support Services

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Get a Handle on Your Inner Critic

• How we feel about ourselves depends on self-talk,
  the never-ending story that goes on in our heads
  about what we do, think, feel and say. Much of
  this self-talk is negative, the voice of a
  critical parent that is often much more
  negative than our actual parents ever were.

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The first step in unhooking ourselves from this
inner critic is to simply become aware of it. If
you were as perfect as you want to be, how would
you describe yourself? Using 10 words or less,
write statements that describe your ideal.
Perhaps you would say, I am a beautiful, rich,
very loved person. Your statement would be
classified as an affirmation. What did your
inner critic say when you wrote your affirmation?
Write that criticism in the middle column. Now
write your affirmation again, listening for the
voice of the inner critic and writing that down
in the right column. Do this ten times. Choose
the affirmation you like the most, cut it out and
tape it on your bathroom mirror, your
refrigerator, or your workspace.
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Discover the Power of Positive Self-Talk

• The conversation that we carry on silently
  with ourselves throughout the day has a direct
  effect on our thoughts and behaviors.
  Understanding self-talk and its effects on us can
  help us learn to rewrite our own self-talk
  script

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What is Self-Talk?

• Research shows that approximately 87 percent of
  the things we say to ourselves about ourselves
  are negative, self-destructive, undermining
  thoughts.
• You have probably heard the term self-fulfilling
  prophecy. Self-talk is very much like a
  self-fulfilling prophecy something you think
  about so much you can actually make it happen.
  When the self-talk is positive things will
  work out, I know I can pass this test you
  are giving yourself permission to succeed, and
  chances are, you will. When your self talk is
  negative I know I will have a terrible time,
  I am not good in math you are giving up on
  yourself, and chances are you will not even try
  to succeed. Often your self-talk reflects the
  values and behaviors you learned as a child, and
  the self-esteem you now have as an adult.

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Thoughts and Behaviors

• Self-talk can direct your thoughts and behaviors.
  If you think, I know I can pass this test, you
  will be more likely to make a better grade.
  During the test you will more likely to exhibit
  confidence in your abilities and apply what you
  have learned in class and have a better chance at
  passing the test. But if you say to yourself,
  There is no way I can pass this test, or I
  am going to fail this test you may not even try,
  guaranteeing that you will not make a passing
  grade on it.

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Physical and Mental Effects

• Negative self-talk can increase your distress,
  and can make effects such as headaches or stomach
  pain much worse. It can also encourage you to
  behave in self-destructive ways, further
  distressing your body. Ex No one cares, so
  why not have another drink? Positive self-talk
  can have the opposite effect, leading to a
  confident, positive attitude.

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Rewrite Your Script

• You have the power to change the way you think
  and feel!
• Learn to listen to your own self-talk. Notice
  your automatic response to ideas. Ex A new
  math problem is written on the board. You think,
  I am not good at math. There is no way I will
  ever understand this. Rewrite your mental
  script in a positive way. You could say to
  yourself, This is a challenge. This problem
  regardless of how difficult it seems, gives me an
  opportunity to learn new math skills I can use
  later on in my chosen profession. I do not have
  to be a math whiz, I just have to get this one
  problem right for now.

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Research Theories

• Another definition for self-talk is The reality
  of emotional choice that people have definite
  control over their emotional state.
• Self-talk is a behavior that has potentially
  far-reaching effects. It can help relatively
  healthy people in health maintenance programs.
  Self-talk is categorized as being positive or
  negative. Positive self-talk has good
  implications for peoples mental and physical
  well-being.

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• The use of positive self-talk has been linked to
  stress reduction. Less stress can effect other
  positive health changes. Self-talk, like
  thoughts, is not neutral because it triggers
  behavior in either a positive or negative
  direction. Both thoughts and self-talk are based
  on beliefs which can be believed with or
  without evidence that they are accurate.

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Developing a Positive Mental Attitude

• The development of optimistic thought patterns
  requires essentially three things
• Recognizing self-talk for what it is
• Dealing with negative messages
• Harnessing the positive for the greater good of
  individual persons

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• In a society where people (especially females)
  are taught to downplay their good points,
  developing positive self-talk might be difficult
  at first. It necessitates a reality-check.
  Most of the time people are a lot better
  (performance/health-wise) than they previously
  concluded. The development of positive personal
  speech requires that people take active roles in
  shaping events in their lives, not to let life
  just happen to them.

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Keeping a journal, using your name as you talk to
yourself, and releasing pent-up feelings are some
of the ways to become aware of and constructively
using thoughts. Relaxation is also conducive to
positive thinking. The flipside of that is to
reduce stress. Stress cannot be eliminated, but
it can be managed. This can be done by sharing
feelings with another and confronting any
conflict early on, before the situation gets out
of hand. Relaxation and less stress clarify and
change inner dialogues for the better which can
effect like changes in health states. People can
begin to harness the power in their minds by
taking an active role in deciding what to think,
enhancing the positive messages they send
themselves. By doing so, people can face
challenges health related or otherwise with
the knowledge they can succeed if they literally
put their minds to it.
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Think Positive Positively!

• When a person thinks a negative thought and tries
  to get rid of it, that person is thinking
  positively negatively. Trying not to think a
  negative thought will result in thinking it more.
  Thinking is like breathing It goes on night
  and day and you cannot stop it. But you can
  change it. You can breathe slowly and deeply or
  shallowly and quickly. You can breathe any way
  you want. But you cannot stop.
• The same is true about thinking. You can say
  something stupid or depressing to yourself you
  can say something intelligent or inspiring to
  yourself but you cannot stop thinking entirely.

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• When you find yourself disliking the content of
  your thoughts, instead of trying to stop
  yourself from thinking a thought, try to direct
  your thoughts. The way to direct your thoughts
  is by asking yourself a question. A question
  gets your mind going in a new direction without
  suppressing what you are already thinking. Of
  course the kind of question you ask yourself
  makes a big difference. The idea is to direct
  your mind by asking questions that put your
  attention on practical things, on accomplishment,
  on the future.

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• When you decide on a question to ask yourself,
  ask the question and keep asking. Ponder it.
  Wonder about it. Let it run through your mind
  whenever your mind is not otherwise occupied. It
  will turn the tide of your thoughts and bring you
  into a new state of mind because you are
  thinking positively - positively.

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Changing Your Self-Talk

• In many situations the only thing we can control
  is our own response. Changing self-talk from
  negative to positive is an excellent way to
  manage that response and stress.
• Naming We all name our experiences. Crisis,
  bad as usual, a great challenge are names you
  might give to things that happen. Pick a recent
  upsetting experience. Describe it in a few
  words. Is there a positive name you could give
  it? (learning experience, chance to change, etc.)
  List the names you gave to five recent
  experiences, good or bad. If they happened to
  someone else, what other positive names could you
  give them?

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• Letting Go You often must let go of dreams,
  people or parts of your life. Letting go allows
  you to get on with your life when something is
  over. Write down two things you need to let go
  of. Imagine that each one is really going out of
  your life. How do you feel? (sad, angry,
  relieved, etc). Who can you tell about your
  feelings? What advice would you give to someone
  who is in your situation?

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• Belief and Faith Self-talk reflects our belief
  in who we are or in the universe. A positive
  faith can help you during stressful times. Name
  ten positive things you believe in about
  yourself, people or the universe. If you cannot
  think of ten beliefs, ask other people for
  theirs. Use affirmations. Describe a recent
  experience and how you used one of these beliefs
  to help you.
• Silent Support We all have a constant stream of
  silent talk in our minds. This can be a great
  support or a weight on your shoulders. Close
  your eyes. What is your silent talk saying right
  now? Write three negative messages you often
  hear. Write their opposites as positive
  messages.

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Change the Picture, Change Your Life

• Each of us have mental pictures in our mind which
  have been shaped and developed by what we hear,
  see, and say. Many of the pictures in our lives
  are wrong and must be removed and replaced with
  new images of the way we want them to be.
• It is a proven fact and principle of life that
  what you are is a direct result of who you think
  you are.
• Your life today is a reflection of how you see
  yourself on the inside. You may not be
  consciously aware of it, but, you have a picture
  album in your head and those pictures are a
  result of what has gone into your life and your
  belief and faith in them.

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The Beat of Your Own Drum

• Society has dictated our behaviors since day one.
  Look at how the electronic and print media
  influence what we think, and the choices we make.
  The majority of attitudes and behaviors we carry
  through life are learned
• Here are a few questions you might ask yourself
  the next time you find yourself involved in
  negative self-talk
• Why should I live my life according to someone
  elses beliefs?
• Why should I not have an opportunity for
  happiness?
• Why should I have to justify my choices to
  anyone?
• Why should I give that much power over my life to
  someone else?

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Common Unrealistic Beliefs

• These beliefs often lead to anxiety and
  depression
• Demand for Approval I must be loved, approved
  of and respected by the significant people in my
  life, and if not, it is awful.
• High Self-Expectation I must succeed, achieve
  and be competent because I am a failure as a
  person when I fail or do poorly.
• These beliefs are associated with a
  passive-dependent, victim outlook
• Dependency I need someone or something stronger
  than myself on whom to depend because I cannot
  cope with life by myself.

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• Helplessness for Change My past is the cause of
  my present problems, so I cannot change. This is
  how I am and I am helpless to do anything about
  it.
• Emotional Control My feelings are caused by
  events or other people, so to be happy, I must
  control or change them and eliminate my problems.
• These ideas cause anger, righteous indignation
  and guilt
• Blame Proneness People, including me, must not
  do wrong. When they do, they are bad, rotten
  people who deserve to be blamed and condemned.
• Personal Idealism The world and other people
  must be fair and just, that is, the way I want
  them to be.

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• These are common beliefs in frustration,
  impatience, procrastination and impulsiveness
• Frustration Reactivity I cannot stand it when
  things or people are not the way I want because I
  must get what I want quickly and easily.
• Problem Avoidance It is easier to avoid rather
  than face lifes difficulties because I cannot
  stand such hassles and should not have them.
• Discomfort Anxiety I must be comfortable and
  without pain at all times or I cannot stand it.

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• These beliefs lead to perfectionism,
  obsessive/compulsive traits and martyrdom
• Perfectionism There is a right, perfect
  solution to every problem and I must find it, so
  I have to be certain and be in control.
• Anxious Overconcern I have to be anxious when
  faced with an uncertainty or potential danger and
  must think constantly about such possibilities.
• Overcaring I must become upset over my and
  other peoples problems or else I am an uncaring,
  cold, bad person.
• Psychological Hypochondria When I am upset, I
  am afraid I may be going crazy and will not be in
  control of myself, which would be unbearable.

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Ten Tools to Boost Your Self-Worth

• Discover Disabling Beliefs We may lack
  self-worth because we are harboring some
  self-defeating beliefs about ourselves
  unknowingly. These beliefs could have grown from
  an off-the-wall comment said to us when we were
  young and impressionable. Unrecognized disabling
  beliefs can continue to effect how we experience
  life. They can even prevent us from experiencing
  peace and joy.
• Change Disabling Beliefs Using Affirmations An
  affirmation is a positive statement said by us
  about us. Affirmations are a great way to
  uncover some of those old, disabling beliefs. As
  we start to talk positively to ourselves, those
  buried negative beliefs will pop into our minds.
  These are called blurts. We should write them
  down to help us discover where they came from so
  they can be changed into positive truths.

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• Change Destructive Thinking With Cognitive
  Therapy Cognitive therapy is an exercise used
  to recognize and stop self-defeating thinking.
  An event, called a trigger, will prompt thinking
  the thinking can be negative and inaccurate.
  Negative feelings can following the negative
  thinking which can cause inappropriate behavior.
  Analyzing and changing the negative thinking
  following a trigger can prevent inappropriate
  behavior and the subsequent unpleasant
  consequences.

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Think Positively Our thoughts create our
experiences. Our subconscious operates off data
input by our thoughts with no judgment of that
data. The data input can be positive or
negative our servomechanism acts equally on
both. We would be much better off if we could
give our servomechanism positive input. See the
Positive in Our Past If we look back over our
life, we might discover an experience that we
perceived as bad then realized later its place as
a valued part of the larger picture. In
addition, we might discover that what we judged
as some of our worst experiences have taught us
our grandest lessons.
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• Forgive Ourselves Once we see that many of our
  uncomfortable experiences taught us valuable
  lessons, we can start to accept ourselves and
  practice forgiveness. If we find bad behavior,
  we can purge it, thank ourselves for the
  awareness, forgive ourselves for any perceived
  indiscretion, diffuse any disabling beliefs and
  move on. Once we forgive ourselves, forgiving
  others becomes second nature.
• Take Responsibility for Our Actions, Without
  Judgment If we can see the value in our past
  experiences we can accept responsibility without
  judgment for our part in the drama. Taking the
  responsibility for our own part can be very
  freeing. We can start to see our future
  experiences as opportunities to learn and grow,
  even the uncomfortable one.

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Use Emotions as a Measurement to Become More
Self-Aware When we are in a dispute, our
emotions can help us become more self-aware.
High emotions indicate we have an issue within
us. Go within and ask, Why am I so emotional
over this issue? Understanding ourselves is an
important aspect of self-worth. Transmute the
Fear There are two energies in the world love
and fear. Every emotion we have is the result of
one of these two energies. We can learn to break
down our fear-based emotions by identifying what
fear caused the emotion. Fear is more tangible
than our emotions, which makes it easier for us
to distinguish whether or not it has merit. To
transmute fears think of the fear in its worst
conceivable scenario, then recognize that even
the worst possibility would not be that bad.
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• Spirit We forget that we have the power to
  change and reclaim ourselves. Many times we may
  feel we deserve the pain or problems we are
  having. We begin to feel we are not worthy of a
  peaceful life or being happy. The truth is that
  our spirit is waiting for us to wake up and
  turn to the positive
• .

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Guide to Affirmations

• By working with affirmations you commence the
  process of changing negative and unproductive
  beliefs, into positive life supporting beliefs,
  that with regular practice will create a desired
  future.
• Creating Your Affirmations Establish in your
  mind the specific area which you most want to
  improve or which goal you most desire attaining.
  
• Correct Elements Present Tense An affirmation
  is more effective when stated in the present
  tense. For example I now have a wonderful
  job. Avoid affirming something in the future
  tense, I am going to have a wonderful job or
  the results will always be waiting to happen.

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• Positive Create affirmations in the most
  positive terms that you can avoiding negative
  statements. Affirm what you do want, rather than
  what you do not want. I do not want to smoke.
  This is a negative statement. I now enjoy being
  a nonsmoker. This statement is much more
  powerful because it is positive and reinforces
  your desired goal.
• Short and Specific A short affirmation is easy
  to say, and has a far greater impact at a
  subconscious level than those that are long and
  wordy. Keeping them specific and to the point
  adds power as the idea is uncluttered by extra
  words.

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Repetition The importance of repetition cannot
be overemphasized. It imprints the affirmation
into your subconscious mind. Emotions Get
involved, be passionate, use your emotions.
Think carefully about the meaning of the words as
you repeat them rather than typing or saying
them. Persistence Persistence achieves results
much sooner than practicing affirmations
periodically. Successive sessions will have a
compounding effect. Belief You do not
necessarily have to believe your affirmations,
initially. Belief will grow with your
forthcoming successes. Impress Yourself
Personalize your affirmations. They must feel
right for you. The stronger the feeling an
affirmation conveys, the deeper the impression it
makes on your mind, and the sooner you will
experience positive results.
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Visualization

• It is advantageous to see yourself as already
  having obtained your desired outcome. While
  holding the image, bring to mind the feelings you
  would have when accomplishing your goal.
• By visualizing your goal your subconscious mind
  will work for you, behind the scenes, to
  encourage the manifestation of situations that
  will ultimately enable your goals to come true.
  A process of achieving your goals through the
  application of positive mental images will
  empower you to create a reality from your desires.

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Senses

• Each of us has five senses. We can use these
  senses to work for us in reaching our desired
  goals. By combining the elements of sight,
  smell, sound, taste, and touch to visualize our
  objective it becomes real to our imagination and
  in so doing becomes imbedded in our subconscious
  as a part of our reality.

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Best Times For Practicing Affirmations

• Set aside a special time each day for your
  session. Either first thing in the morning or
  just before you go to bed, whenever is convenient
  for you.
• The major benefit of the evening session is that
  you will continue your affirmation during your
  sleep state. That is the thought process
  established during your session will continue to
  operate on a subconscious level during sleep.
• In the morning when you awaken refreshed, your
  mind is more receptive to thought patterns and
  better able to concentrate and receive new
  stimuli
• Practice choosing positive self-talk. You will
  feel happier and more confident.

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Positive Thoughts

• I am positive, confident, and radiate good
  things.
• I am always staying in the present the past is
  gone and the future is still to come. The
  present is with me.
• I have boundless energy, enthusiasm, and vitality
• I have good and nurturing relationships with
  everyone I meet.
• I always learn new skills easily.
• I spread positive and loving feelings to everyone
  I meet.

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Thank you for your participation in this
workshop. We hope you found the information
useful. Do not forget to complete and return an
Academic Enrichment Summary so that we may
document your participation. If you are viewing
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page and print one out or e-mail it to
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participation. Handouts available upon
request. Exit