Growing Up Right!

1
Growing Up Right!

• Developmental Issues and Treatment
  Recommendations for Children Who Witness Violence

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW www.yoursocialworker.com
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One, two, buckle my shoe

• The effects of witnessing domestic violence are
  different depending upon age of the child

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0 1 year old
Ways of Being Drawn In
Effects of Abuse

• Seeing it
• Hearing it
• Being awakened by it
• Being injured by it
• Being ripped from mother's arms
• Having toys broken
• Being born prematurely
• Being hit while in mom's arms
• Being thrown

• Physical injury
• Death
• Fright
• Being traumatized by it
• Sleep disturbances
• Eating disturbances
• Being colicky or sick
• Insecurity because of being cared for by a
  traumatized mom
• Not responsive or cuddly

Source http//www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton
.html
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0 1 year old

• Whats Going on Developmentally?

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2 4 Year Olds
Ways of Being Drawn In
Effects of Abuse

• Seeing it
• Hearing it
• Trying to stop altercation
• Becoming abused themselves
• Being used as a physical weapon against the
  victim
• Being interrogated by perpetrator about victims
  activities
• Being held hostage by perpetrator

• Acting out violently
• Withdrawal
• Trouble with other kids
• Delayed toileting
• Eating problems
• Nervous, jumpy
• Sleep problems
• Insecurity, fear and Depression

Source http//www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton
.html
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2 4 Year Olds
Whats Going on Developmentally?
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5 12 Year Olds
Ways of Being Drawn In
Effects of Abuse

• Seeing hearing it
• Picking 1 parent to defend
• Physically intervening
• Calling the police
• Running to neighbors for help
• Being used as a spy against Mom
• Forced to participate in attack on Mom
• Being physically or sexually abused to control
  Mom
• Being restricted from contact with others

• Fear insecurity
• Low self esteem
• Withdrawal/depression
• Running away
• Early drug/alcohol use
• School problems
• Bedwetting
• Sexual activity
• Becoming caretaker of adults
• Being embarrassed by one's family

Source http//www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton
.html
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5 12 Year Olds
Whats Going on Developmentally?
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Teen Boys and Girls
Effects of Abuse
Ways of Being Drawn In

• Killing/trying to kill perpetrator
• Trying to stop the abuse
• Hitting parent or siblings
• Becoming physically abused
• Being used as a spy
• Being used as a confidante
• Being coerced by perpetrator to be abusive to mom
  

• School problems
• Social problems
• Sexual activity
• Shamed embarrassed
• Truancy
• Super-achiever at school
• Tendency to get serious relationships too early
  to escape home
• Depression
• Suicide
• Alcohol/drug use
• Confusion about gender roles

Source http//www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton
.html
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Gender Specific Effects
Effects Specific to Boys
Effects Specific to Girls

• Learning that males are violent
• Learning to disrespect women
• Using violence in his own relationships
• Confusion or insecurity about being a man
• Attacking parents or siblings

• Learning that male violence is normal
• Learning that women don't get respect
• Accepting violence in her own relationships
• Embarrassed about being female
• Becoming pregnant

Source http//www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton
.html
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Teen Boys and Girls
Whats Going on Developmentally?
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When Intervening

• Safety first.

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Safety First

• The safety and security of the child is
  paramount.
• Do not assume the victim (parent) can provide for
  the childs security.
• The victims own distress or secondary problems
  may over-ride their ability to care for the
  child.
• The victim may may use abusive of coercive
  strategies to manage the child.

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When Intervening

• Structure second.

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Structure second
Routine and Predictability Reduce Anxiety

• Daycare
• Womens Shelter
• School
• Regular mealtimes / nutrition
• Regular bedtimes and wake-up time

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When Intervening

• Treatment third.

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Treatment Third

• Consider Safety as Treatment
• Ceases exposure and prevents re-exposure
• Consider Structure as Treatment
• Reduced anxiety through stability of routines

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More Structural Interventions
STRUCTURAL INTERVENTIONS is TREATMENT!!!
Child
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When Intervening

• and support throughout

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Support Throughout

• Instrumental
• Access to services (medical, social, educational)
• Daycare or school placement
• Supplies (from diapers to gym shorts)
• Emotional
• Counselling group or individual
• A safe place or buddy

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Emotional Support

• Is this a resilient child?
• Are there indicators of disturbance?
• Does this child necessarily need counselling
• Might time and structural interventions mitigate
  deleterious effects of witnessing DV?
• If counselling is indicated, what type?

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Types of Counselling

• Individual
• Talk
• Art/Play/Music
• Family
• Parent/child, sibling subgroup, entire family
• Group
• Talk vs. activity based

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Violence Crosses gender

• While violence against women by men is most
  talked about, women also perpetrate violence
  against men. Further violence can be an issue in
  same-sex relationships regardless of gender.
• While raising violence against women still
  remains a difficulty in many jurisdictions, many
  men and same-sex couples find a greater stigma
  associated with raising the issue and hence these
  populations often go unserved.

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General Goals of Counselling

• Breaking the Silence demystification
• Understanding Roles and Responsibilities
• Learning to Identify Feelings
• Managing Anger
• Identifying Social Supports
• Developing Confidence
• Learning about the Cycle of Violence
• Develop Conflict Resolution Skills
• Symptom Reduction
• Increasing Safety and Stability
• Dealing with Separations

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Growing Up Right!

• Developmental Issues and Treatment
  Recommendations for Children Who Witness Violence

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW www.yoursocialworker.com