ATTRACTION

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• ATTRACTION

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• AFFILIATION, ATTRACTION, LOVE AND DISSOLUTION
• SUMMARY
• I Love
• N
• T Attraction
• I
• M Dissolution
• A Affiliation
• C
• Y
• TIME
• (Forsyth, Donelson 1995 Our Social World
  pg. 401)

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• Affiliation- The need for social contact
• Reasons for affiliation
• Social comparison- Leon Festinger (1950, 1954)
  argues that we rely on other people for
  information about ourselves and the world around
  us. What if we lived a life of total isolation?
  How would you know whether you were a success or
  failure?
• Uncertainty and affiliation- whenever we are
  uncertain we seek some form of reassurance. If
  others know nothing about the situation you face,
  there is no reason to affiliate with them. We
  tend to compare ourselves with people who are
  similar to us in some way.
• Fear and affiliation- we affiliate to reduce
  fear.
• Festinger (1954) and Schachter (1959) believes
  we affiliate with others because they are a rich
  source of information. We are information seekers
  and processors who try to understand our social
  world. But we also strive to confirm our current
  ideas, reaffirm our sense of self- worth, and
  reduce our anxieties and fears.

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• Social exchange theory - The theory that proposes
  that we seek out and maintain those relationships
  in which the rewards exceed the costs. The
  essential assumption is that people are hedonists
  they seek to maximize pleasure and minimize
  pain.
• Dispositional need- Loners and joiners
• The need to seek out others. People who are
  strong in this respect tend to be joiners,
  although they worry about their relationships
  more than other people do.
• Loners on the other hand, are those people who
  avoid others because they suffer from social
  anxiety, the experience of negative emotions
  revolving around interactions with others.

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• Uninterpretable events
• Create uncertainty need for
  information affiliation
• (pg. 403- Forsyth)

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• Attraction and the Development of Friendships
• Factors influencing attraction

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1. Propinquity

• Individuals who live or work in close proximity
  tend to like one another. Propinquity reduces the
  cost of getting acquainted and increases mere
  exposure.

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2. Familiarity

• Merely being exposed to people can lead to
  attraction, even if the exposure does not include
  social interaction. This phenomenon is called the
  mere exposure effects.

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Mere exposure

• The more frequently we are around other people,
  the more we come to like them. One's attraction
  to others can be increased even by frequent
  exposure to their photographs or names

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3. Physical attractiveness-

• People who are physically attractive are better
  liked than less attractive people. People assume
  that attractive people posses positive qualities.
  
• Evolutionary theory suggests that attractive
  people are sought after because their appearance
  suggests that they are healthy and available.

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Studies have shown

• Physically attractive people receive more
  assistance from others.
• Physically attractive people receive more
  cooperation in conflict situations.
• Physically attractive people receive better job
  recommendations from experienced personnel
  consultants, even when personal appearance could
  have no conceivable relationship to actual job
  performance.
• Physically attractive people receive more self-
  disclosure from others.

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4. Reciprocity

• Attraction obeys the reciprocity principle- we
  like people who like us. We act more likable when
  we think we are liked-self- fulfilling prophecy-
  (a perceivers inaccurate belief that can evoke
  new behaviors in the person being observed, which
  confirm the perceivers original inaccurate
  conception.)

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5. Similarity

• People with similar attitudes, beliefs, and
  values usually like one another. Similarity in
  attitudes is important because this gives
  validation to our own ideas.
• Do we like those similar to us or do we become
  similar to those we like? Is the saying Birds of
  a feather flock together an accurate one?
• Friendships and romantic relationships are more
  frequent when people have similar demographic
  characteristics.
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6. Complementarity-

• People whose qualities complement one another
  sometimes like one another. Similarity rather
  than complementarity, usually determines
  attraction.

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• THEORIES OF ATTRACTION

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REINFORCEMENT THEORIES

• Several theoretical perspectives link attraction
  to the reinforcements- the rewards and
  punishments- associated with other people.

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• EXCHANGE THEORY
• 1978- Harold Kelly Thaibut

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• The foundation of the theory is economic. Social
  exchange theory is based on a central premise
  that the exchange of social and material
  resources is a fundamental form of human
  interaction.
• The theory proposes that people will attempt to
  maximize the rewards they receive from
  relationships and minimize the costs they incur.

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• Exchange theory provides a way of thinking about
  inputs and outcomes in relationships. It focuses
  on what people put into relationships, and what
  they get out of them.

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2. Reinforcement- affect theory

• We like people who say they like us especially if
  they are
•     different from us
•    competent
• we have just suffered a temporary blow to
  our self-esteem

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3. Gain- loss theory

• The hypothesis that a person who increases (or
  decreases) his liking for someone else has a
  bigger impact on the other person, i.e. makes the
  second person like him more (or less), than if he
  had maintained from the out set the degree of
  liking to which he shifted.

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BALANCE THEORY

• Fritz Heider argues that liking similar people
  makes more sense to us, psychologically, than
  liking dissimilar people. Such relationships are
  harmonious, the elements of the situation all fit
  together without stress.
• Balance theory is a theory dealing with feelings
  that result when an individual realizes that
  inconsistencies exist among his or her beliefs.
  Balance theory assumes that consistency among
  beliefs is pleasing and inconsistencies is
  displeasing

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CLOSE RELATIONSHIPSLOVE
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LOVE

• Love is composed of three elements attachment,
  caring, and intimacy.
• "Attachment" refers the powerful desire to be in
  the other's presence, to make physical contact,
  to be approved of, to be cared for.
• "Caring" is the willingness to sacrifice oneself
  for the sake of the other person.
• "Intimacy" is the union and bond between these
  two individuals.

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KELLEYS STAGES OF LOVE

• Stage 1 Acquaintanceship Two people get to
  know each other and begin to interact . In the
  case of many contacts we make, it never gets any
  further than this. We meet someone casually at a
  party, get on all right but there it ends.
• Stage 2 Discovery Increasing degrees of
  interdependence emerge at this stage and both
  partners become more willing to disclose
  information about themselves. A fair amount of
  energy is expended on the relationship at this
  stage.

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• Stage 3 Build Up The course of true love does
  not always run smoothly. Circumstances and
  problems unfold at this stage which may increase
  tension. The idealization which has occurred in
  stage 2 comes up against the reality of the
  partners less than ideal characteristics.
• Stage 4 Commitment At this stage it begins to
  become evident that the advantages of the
  relationship outweigh the disadvantages, and
  commitment to it develops.

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THE INVESTMENT MODEL OF CLOSE (ROMANTIC)
RELATIONSHIPS

• Caryl Rusbult- 3 models
• SAT (REW - CST) - CL
• COM SAT - ALT INV
• ST/LV COM REW- CST- CL- ALT INV
• Source SOCIAL COGNITIVE PSYCHOLOGY (History and
  Current Domains) by David F. Barone, James E.
  Maddux, and C. r. Snyder
• SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY by Tony Malim
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• SAT (REW - CST) - CL
• Satisfaction (Reward- cost) comparison level
• 2. COM SAT - ALT INV
• Commitment Satisfaction- alternatives
  investment
• 3. ST/LV COM REW- CST- CL ALT INV
• Staying/leaving Commitment Reward cost -
  comparison level - alternatives investment

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There are TWO forms of love

• PASSIONATE LOVE involves the intense longing for
  another person. According to Walster and Walster,
  it is an emotion-laden state of intense
  absorption in another.
• COMPANIONATE LOVE is defined as the feelings of
  intimacy and affection we feel toward someone
  that are not accompanied by passion or
  physiological arousal.

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Sternbergs Triangle of Love

•  Three component theory-
• passion
• Intimacy
• commitment

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Three dimensions of love

• (1) Intimacy baring souls, sharing, liking,
• and bonding (a slowly developing
  emotional-interpersonal involvement, as in a
  friendship).
• (2)   Passion sexual attraction (an instant or
  quickly developing motivation or addiction which
  usually declines over the years to a stable
  level).
• (3) Commitment stable, dependable devotion (a
  slowly developing cognitive decision to stick by
  the other person in bad times, as in a marriage).
  Different mixtures of these three parts determine
  what kind of love it is, e.g.

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• Styles of love- based on greek terms
• Lee, 1977 Hendrick Hendrick, 1986 Love
  Styles

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• EROS - Love at first sight, based on physical
  attributes and is mostly physical arousal. An
  erotic love. Love at first sight because it is
  based on physical attributes and is mostly
  physical arousal, sexual. Requires a high level
  of commitment, intimacy and passion. Tends to
  burn out like a dying flame.
• LUDUSLudos - Very pluralistic. Relationships do
  not have any great depth. Avoids emotional
  intensity. Sees love as a game with many
  partners. Long term relationships are unlikely.
• STORGELove as friendship. Loving, affectionate
  and committed love that develops over time.
  Relationships are long lasting.

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• PRAGMAPragma - A logical and rational lover.
  Looks for a compatible partner with desired
  attributes. Satisfaction in long-term
  relationships.
• MANIAMania - intense preoccupation with the
  loved one, intensely jealous and possessive, in
  need of constant reassurance of partner's love. A
  possessive and dependent style of love.
• AGAPEAgape - Selfless, caring without self
  interest. Selfless, give and caring without self
  interest.