Thou Shalt Not Repeat. Not.

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Thou Shalt Not Repeat. Not.

• Marija Zlatnar Moe
• University of Ljubljana

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Slovene style rules

• Economy means to say the essence of something
  with only a few words. We must leave out
  everything that is not necessary. Our expression
  is economic when ... we do not repeat the same
  words.
• (Pavlin Povodnik 1996)
• Original and lively style means that a text
  conforms with certain aesthetic norms. One should
  therefore try to use different syntactic
  structures ... One should avoid cliches,
  repetition of one and the same word ... Instead
  of cliches one should use more original
  expressions. One can avoid repetition by using
  synonyms ...
• (Cuderman et al. 2002)

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How to annoy readers

• redundancy Unnecessary repetition can annoy
  readers, take up space, annoy readers, waste
  time, cause confusion, annoy readers, hinder
  readability and annoy readers.
• (http//home.comcast.net/garbl/stylemanual/c.htm
  concise)
• redundancy Unnecessary repetition can annoy
  readers, take up space, pester readers, waste
  time, cause confusion, distress readers, hinder
  readability and fuss readers.

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English style rules

• Planned redundancies can create a powerful
  rhytmic effect. The dull drone of unplanned
  repetition, however, can bore a reader and
  prevent the delivery of your message. Unplanned
  repetition, called redundancy, says the same
  thing more than once.
• (Troyka 1993, 348)
• ... All these writers value repetition as a
  simple and useful means of unifying their writing
  and holding their readers' attention. They are
  not afraid of it. Inexperienced writers, however,
  often are.
• (Hairstone 1981, 89)

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Non-literary translation
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Literary translation students

• I had a lot of trouble with the dialogue between
  Campbell and Eichmann. In the original, the verb
  said is often used, which is OK in English,
  whereas in Slovene we try to avoid repeating the
  same verb over and over. Therefore I tried to
  come up with as many different verbs of utterance
  as possible.
• In the text, the word bedroom is often used. I
  translated it either as bedroom or room. I chose
  one or the other depending on the text, so that
  the word wouldnt be repeated too often. Even
  though the author strictly uses the term bedroom
  in the original, I decided to be more diverse.

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Literary translation pro (1)
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Literary translation pro (2)

• If thou hast any sound or use of voice,
• Speak to me.
• If there be any good thing to be done
• That may to thee do ease, and grace to me,
• Speak to me
• If thou art privy to thy country's fate,
• Which, happily, foreknowing may avoid,
• O speak
• Or if thou hast uphoarded in thy life
• Extorted treasure in the womb of earth,
• For which they say your spirits oft walk in
  death,
• Speak of it, stay and speak.

• Prikazen! Ce imaš glas in znaš kaj reci,
• govori z mano!
• Ce je treba kaj dobrega storiti,
• kar tebi v mir bo, meni v dušni prid,
• povej!
• Ce veš, da kakšna stvar grozi državi
• in z vednostjo lahko jo odvrnemo,
• na dan z besedo!
• Ali ce si v življenju si nagrabil
• zakladov in jih skril v narocje zemlje,
• kar vam menda ne da miru po smrti,
• povej mi, duh! Govori! Stoj!

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Literary translation pro (3)

• But you must know your father lost a father,
• That father lost, lost his - and the survivor
  bound
• In filial obligation for some term
• To do obsequious sorrow.

• a tudi oce izgubil je oceta,
• vedi, in ded oceta Prav, potomec
• dolocen cas je dolžen skazovati
• svojo bolest -

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Thank you for your attention.
This presentation is available at
http//www2.arnes.si/surmzlat