Ways Parents Can Build Self-Esteem

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Ways Parents Can Build Self-Esteem
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• Teach your child skills.
• When children say, I cant, they sometimes
  mean, I dont know how.
• Show your child how to complete each step of a
  new task.
• Have your child practice each step until it is
  mastered, then move on to next step.
• Hold high expectations.
• If you believe your child will do well in school,
  they probably will.
• Be carefulIf you put too high expectations on
  your child, then you could harm your childs
  self-esteem.
• Be clear about the messages youre sending your
  child.
• When your child brings home a school assignment,
  focus first on the correct responses. Then help
  him understand why his other answers were
  incorrect.
• When your child helps with household chores,
  thank him/ her for help and talk about one thing
  they did especially well.

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• Take a tip from Thomas Edison
• Each time Edison said hed learned something that
  didnt work, he was one step closer to finding
  something that did.
• Teach the success mind-set at home. When your
  child is unsuccessful, try to find something she/
  he can learn from mistakes. You might ask, What
  would you do differently next time?
• Be sure that you let your child know youre proud
  of him/ her for trying.
• Let your child overhear a compliment.
• Kids sometimes have trouble hearing a
  compliment spoken directly to them. But when
  they overhear you talking about what a good job
  they did, theyll believe what they hear. That
  will make them work even harder!
• Make a scrapbook of accomplishments.
• Great way to record your childs successes. Get
  a 3-ring binder, lots of paper, and set aside
  some time to work with your child in preparing
  the scrapbook!
• Helpful categories for the scrapbook
• Things Ive learned in school (words I can spell,
  math problems I can do, stories Ive written)
• How I help (things I do around the house, things
  I do outside).
• Artistic skills (my favorite drawings, songs I
  can sing).
• Places Ive visited
• Books Ive read
• Things Im proud of.

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• Read The Little Engine That Could
• Talk about the things your child can accomplish
  when they repeat, I think I can, I think I can,
  I think I can.
• Provide a regular place to display your childs
  best work.
• The refrigerator door was made just for this!
• Have your child choose a school paper, drawing,
  or photo that shows some recent accomplishment.
  Change the display often.

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• Help your child do something for someone else.
• Help clean nearby park, shovel an elderly
  neighbors sidewalk, or collect food for
  shelters.
• By giving to others, your child can feel a real
  sense of accomplishment.
• Give your child more responsibilities and freedom
  as they grow older
• At least once a year, rethink the rules you set
  for your child.
• Teach your child to set goals.
• Five-step process
• Beginning of week, help child identify one
  challenging (but attainable) goal.
• (i.e. getting to bus stop on time every
  day, getting 90 on spelling test).
• Write goal on paper and post on refrigerator.
• Talk about how to accomplish goal. Break down
  into smaller steps.
  (i.e. Lay out clothes at night, set alarm clock
  15 minutes earlier, study a few words each night
  of week).
• As week progresses, ask how things are going. If
  problems come up, talk about possible solutions.
• At the end of the week, evaluate with child how
  well they did. Was goal achieved?
• Why or why not?
• Most important, praise child for trying. Then set
  a new goal for the next week.
• Every time your child accomplishes a goal
  successfully, he/she is building self-esteem to
  help reach the next goal.

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• Nurture your childs unique gifts.
• Build on your childs strengths.
• Your behavior can also show your child that you
  value their interests. (i.e. If your child is
  concerned about the environment, you could make a
  family effort to recycle. If your child loves
  sports, you might set aside time each week to
  watch a game together).
• Show your child you love and accept him/her for
  who they are.
• Studies have shown that parents who were warm and
  accepting when their children were young had
  children with high self-esteem at age 12.
• Be careful not to compare siblings to one
  another. Comparing children is harmful to
  self-esteem.
• Help each child find and feel good about their
  own strengths.
• Praise a special effort with a special reward.
• For example, one mom made her child Queen for a
  Day for an outstanding report card!

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• Show your child how much you love him/her every
  day.
• 10 ways to say I love you
• When you your child are around other adults,
  include them in your conversations with them.
• If your child breaks something, help them fix it.
• When your child says, Watch me, take time to
  watch them.
• When your child says, Read me a story, treat it
  as the most wonderful invitation youll receive
  all day.
• Say I love you as often as you can. Make sure
  you say it at least 2 timesjust before your
  child leaves for school or you leave for work,
  and the last thing before turning out the light.
• Take up a new hobby or sport with your child.
  Spend time learning it together.
• Give your child a hug.
• Write notes and put them in your childs lunch
  box.
• Sometimes, take your child for ice cream or a
  special treat just because youre such a great
  kid.
• Set aside some time to talk with your child every
  day. During that time, dont watch television,
  wash the dishes or pay bills. Just be there.
• Focus on the positive.
• Dont ignore behavior that falls short of your
  expectations. But try to focus on the positive.
• Always keep two pictures by your childs bedside.
• A picture of your child surrounded by family and
  a picture of he/ she doing something they love.
• The first picture will remind your child that
  they are loved.

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• Help your children build family pride.
• Teach child about relatives as far back on family
  tree as possible.
• Talk about country or countries from which their
  ancestors came.
• Read books about heritage.
• Talk about famous people who share same
  background.
• Teach about different cultures.
• Help child learn that all people have many
  reasons to be proud.
• Dont use hurtful words.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words
  can never hurt me, isnt true! Words used as a
  parent can either build your childs
  self-esteemor destroy it.
• Expressions that can build self-esteem
• Knowing you, Im sure you will do fine.
• You can do it if you try.
• I have faith in you.
• Youre trying your hardest and your work will pay
  off.
• I can see you put a lot of effort into that.
• You can figure it out.
• That was a good try. Dont worry about the
  mistake.
• Expressions that can hurt a childs self-esteem

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• Promote self-discipline.
• To do this
• Enforce family rules (i.e. about bedtime, not
  eating sweets before meals, picking up toys at
  the end of the day, etc.)
• Establish orderly routines at home. Let your
  child know clearly what is expected of them.
  Rely less and less on parental discipline and
  more and more on self-discipline.
• Expect your child to assume some responsibilities
  at home. (i.e. Younger children-
  responsibilities might be picking up toys and
  feeding pets. Older children can be expected to
  set table and help with dishes.)
• Help your child learn the skills needed to work
  with others.
• Give plenty of chances to play with other
  children.
• Show ways to resolve conflicts.
• Teach ways to express emotions using I
  statements. (i.e. I feel angry when you do
  that
• As children grow older, their relations with
  friends become an important part of their
  self-esteem.

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• Make yours an equal opportunity household.
• Childrens self-esteem will flourish if theyre
  allowed to develop their own talents and
  interests.
• Use self-fulfilling prophesies.
• Take a minute to identify the positive behavior
  you see from your child. (i.e. when your child
  does their homework without nagging, say, You
  are being responsible. When your child has
  cleaned his room, take a minute to say, You are
  being very helpful. When your child offers to
  share a toy, say, You are a generous person.
• When children hear these positive messages
  repeated over and over (and when they are matched
  with their own behaviors), they begin to think of
  themselves as responsible, helpful, generous
  peopleand to act in ways that reinforce their
  images of themselves.

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• Experts say that the secret to developing healthy
  self-esteem is simple
• Make sure the praise you give is deserved.
  Children know when theyve done something well or
  tried their best, and thats when praise is
  important. Children thrive on deserved praise
  and learn from it!
• When it comes to childrens self-esteem, there
  is simply no doubt that parents make all the
  difference in the world!

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• Information taken from
• The Parent Institute
• www.parent-institute.com
• This powerpoint is available on the schools
  website http//ecboe.org/hbes
• Go to the school counselors page (Tanya
  Ragan)