Basics of Biblical Counseling

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Basics of Biblical Counseling

• Lesson 7
• Anger

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VI. Anger
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A. God and anger

1. God gets righteously angry (Ps. 711, Rom. 118,
   John 336)
2. Gods anger is a right and just response to what
   is wrong and offensive. Gods anger is not
   sinful (James 113, Lev. 1144, )
3. Jesus was righteously angry at times (Matt.
   2112-13, Heb. 415, 1 Peter 222)
4. Therefore, God demonstrates that anger can be
   utterly holy, right, good, and even a loving
   response to sin
5. Though the capacity for human anger may be linked
   to being made in the image of God, sin has so
   twisted the human heart that human righteous
   anger, untainted by sin, seems unlikely

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B. Definition of anger

1. Anger is a whole-personed, active response of
   negative moral judgment against perceived evil
2. the rising up in the heart in passionate
   displacency against an apprehended evil, which
   would cross or hinder us of some desired good
   Richard Baxter

Definition adapted from Robert Jones, Uprooting
Anger (PR, 2005), 15.
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B. Definition of anger

• The New Testament has three words for anger
• Thumos explosive anger, the boiling agitation
  of the feeling and passion of anger (wrath in
  NASB) Eph. 431
• Orge an abiding, settled attitude of
  indignation that frequently seeks revenge
  (anger in NASB) Eph. 431
• Parorgismos anger mingled with irritability,
  exasperation, and embitterment (anger NASB)
  Eph. 426

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B. Definition of anger

1. Anger has an object (a target)
2. Anger is often used as a tool to get what a
   person wants or as a weapon of punishment when a
   person doesnt get what he wants (James 41-3)
3. Anger judges things. It weighs something and
   find it wrong, lacking or displeasing. Then it
   moves into action.
4. Though righteous anger is possible, the vast
   majority of human anger is sinful anger

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C. Anger is disguised by names

1. Miss Hurt, Upset, Offended, Bothered, Annoyed,
   Needs a Nap
2. Mrs. Irritated, Resentful, Irate, At the Boiling
   Point, Enraged, Infuriated
3. Mr. Disturbed, Disappointed, Frustrated, Ticked
   Off, Hot Under the Collar, Worked Up, Distressed,
   Bitter, Displeased, Got Up on the Wrong Side of
   the Bed
4. Help the counselee see his own anger (halo data
   is important here)

Adapted from material on anger by Dr. Wayne Mack
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D. The Bibles perspective on anger

1. Anger is something that a person chooses to do.
   People do not make us angry (Ps. 378, Eph. 431)
2. Anger comes as a result of idolatry putting self
   in place of God (Rom. 1219, James 43)
3. Anger is mental murder (Matt. 521-22, James 43)

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D. The Bibles perspective on anger

• Anger is extremely deceptive (Heb. 313)
• It deceives us into thinking that it is right for
  us to hurt people who have hurt us
• It deceives us into thinking that we must obey it
  that we cant help our angry response
• Anger is both taught and modeled to us in life
  (Prov. 2224-25). It can become a habit or
  second nature through practice (Prov. 1919)

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E. Most people have a faulty view of anger

1. Most think their anger is a justified and normal
   response to how they have been treated
2. Some even think that not expressing or
   validating your anger is the real source of
   peoples problems
3. Yet the Bible consistently warns people to not be
   angry (Ecc. 79, James 119-20, Rom. 1219, Eph.
   431, Ps. 378)
4. Instead, the Bible calls for a different response
   to what most people think is a normal and
   justifiable occasion for anger (Matt. 544,
   2239, Rom. 1218, Eph. 525)

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F. How to deal with sinful anger

1. Recognize that the vast majority of anger is
   sinful
2. Help counselees adopt a biblical view of their
   anger (section D and E in notes)
3. Teach them the log principle (Matt. 71-5)
4. Identify the thinking and ruling desires (idols)
   that govern their heart (James 41-3)

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F. How to deal with sinful anger

• What did I want that I didnt get?
• Is there something I am wanting too much?
• What sinful thoughts and desires was I
  entertaining?
• Does my anger tend to fit a pattern?
• With whom am I typically angry?
• In what contexts am I likely to get angry?
• Under what circumstances am I likely to be angry?
• How long am I angry?
• Do I tend to blow up, clam up? Volcano or slow
  simmer? Deny it? Attack a substitute? Leave?

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F. How to deal with sinful anger

• Is my anger primed and ready to respond to
  another persons sin? (1 Cor. 134-7, James
  119-20)
• What needs, rights, expectations, and demands do
  I impose on God and other people?
• Has my lack of repentance led me to be bitter and
  resentful? Am I regularly angry?
• Confess your sin to God and others. Be specific!
• Ask God and others for forgiveness (1 John 19,
  Luke 173-4)

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F. How to deal with sinful anger

• By Gods grace, repent of your anger
• Ask for Gods help and wisdom (James 42b, 3)
• Identify and put-off any desires, thoughts, or
  beliefs that are sinful (Eph. 422, Rom. 122a).
  Purge your personal pantheon of idols Rick
  Holland
• Renew those desires, thoughts, and beliefs by
  looking to Gods Word (Eph. 423, Rom. 122b)
• Replace and put-on righteous desires, thoughts
  beliefs, and motives built on the worship of
  Jesus Christ alone (Eph. 424)

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F. How to deal with sinful anger

• Develop a specific plan for dealing with anger
• Memorize helpful Bible verses
• Identify your person pattern develop a plan
  for righteous responses
• Meditate on the truths of Gods Word daily. Ask
  for His help regularly. Review your plan.
• Consistent practice of righteous responses is the
  key to growth and change (1 Tim. 47b-8)
• Quickly stop and repent when you begin to respond
  in anger. Dont pretend it didnt happen. Dont
  ignore it. Confess and seek forgiveness quickly
  (Eph. 426)

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F. How to deal with sinful anger

• Keep an anger journal to help you
• Monitor your thoughts and self talk. Repent as
  soon as you catch yourself thinking angry, sinful
  thoughts. Replace them with biblical thinking.
• Be aware of other sins which often accompany and
  feed anger (pride, bitterness, slander, gossip,
  evil intent, murder, sexual sin, other deeds of
  the flesh)
• Make sure you seek forgiveness from all whom you
  have been angry with.
• See God in the midst of the trial (Gen. 5020,
  Rom. 828-29)
• Make room for the wrath of God (Rom. 1219)

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F. How to deal with sinful anger

• Return good for evil (Rom. 1221)

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G. Helpful Bible verses

1. James 41-3, 119-20
2. Ephesians 431-32
3. Philippians 23-5
4. 1 Corinthians 134-7
5. Proverbs
6. Matthew 521-22

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H. Helpful resources

• Robert Jones, Uprooting Anger (PR, 2005)
• Lou Priolo, The Heart of Anger (Calvary, 1997)
• Lou Priolo, Get a Grip (Calvary, 2006)
• Robert Jones, Angry at God? (PR, 2003)
• David Powlison, Anger (PR, 2000)
• Stuart Scott, Communication Conflict Resolution
  (Focus, 2005)
• Ken Sande, The Peacemaker (Baker, 2004)
• Wayne Mack, Strengthening Your Marriage (PR),
  Unit 4 and A Homework Manual for Biblical Living
  (PR), section on anger.

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Homework

• Read chapters 15 16
• Memorize James 41-3
• Reading in second book
• Personal project