A basic overview of Japanese Etiquette

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A basic overview of Japanese Etiquette

• Amanda Burden
• (Yamanashi 2003-2006)

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Language

• Do you need to speak Japanese?
• Yes
• to establish rapport           
• to show initiative
• to become part of the team           
• to demonstrate interest in the country
• to earn the respect of your peers for studying
  such a difficult language

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Language ctnd

• Not necessarily
• Its all about HOW you say it
• Actions speak louder than words!
• Basic useful phrases
• Sumimasen
• Domo arigatou gozaimasu
• Dozo yoroshiku onegaishimasu

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Overview

• Consider your role
• Are you a guest?
• Are you a foreigner?
• Consider the environment
• Formal / business / casual

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Situations

• Meeting people
• Guest
• Dining
• Maintaining relationships

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Meeting people

• Supervisor
• Kocho / Kyoto sensei
• Other teachers
• People in the community

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Greeting!

• Hajimemashite
• To shake or bow?
• Either is fine YOU initiate
• desu.
• Say your name slowly
• If you have a business card, get it ready
• O sewa ni natte orimasu
• This means Thank you for taking care of me!
• ONLY to people who are helping you
• Dozo yoroshiku onegaishimasu
• This means I I hope to start a good
  relationship

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Business cards

• Your supervisor
• Get a meishi case
• Your kocho / kyoto sensei
• If you receive it at a table, leave it face up
  in front of you and after the meeting, store it
• Other teachers
• Probably wont give you business cards
• People in the community
• Treat them like kocho / kyoto sensei

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Omiyage

• To your supervisor
• Tsumaranai mono desu ga
• To kocho / kyoto sensei
• To other teachers
• To people in the community
• Neighbors
• New friends

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PRACTICE!

• Amanda sensei, supervisor
• Amanda sensei, kocho / kyoto sensei
• Amanda sensei, home economics teacher
• Amanda san, elderly neighbor downstairs

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As a guest

• Be on time!!!
• When entering a home
• O jama shimasu Im invading your space
• Take off your shoes in the genkan (foyer)
• If youre offered slippers, remove them and leave
  them outside if entering a tatami room
• If you brought omiyage (which you did!), present
  it to the host / hostess
• Spirits in the States, flowers in France, junk
  food in Japan (sweets, dessert or snacks!)
• Giri / Ki o tsukau
• Japanese hosts will go OUT OF THEIR WAY to be
  gracious, so dont push it with special requests.
  
• Ex What would you like to drink?
• Japanese people will ask what your friend / host
  is drinking and have the same so as not to
  inconvenience them
• Dont worry about that, but dont make special
  requests to come off as a high maintenance guest
• The onus is on THEM to offer, and YOU to refuse
• For dietary restrictions
• Let the host know as far in advance
• If there are food items you cant eat, express
  deep regret and use the STOP gesture

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As a guest ctnd

• Sitting
• Under kotatsu
• If your legs are too long, beware kicking someone
• Cross legged is best
• Not under kotatsu
• Its rude to cross legs for ladies
• Seiza alternatives legs to the side (ladies),
  cross legged (men)
• Position
• Least important person sits near the door NOT
  you

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Dining

• Chopsticks
• Dont play with them, use them to gesture, spear
  anything, etc.
• Family-style food
• If you go to a restaurant, expect to share
• Dont help yourself the host will serve you
• Dont hover your chopsticks over a dish
• Pouring drinks
• Pour drink for your neighbor
• If at an enkai, wait for the toast to imbibe!
• If you need more of a beverage, offer your
  neighbor some and theyll do the same
• Rice
• Rice is the staple of the meal all items
  prepared are meant as complements
• Its slightly sticky to enable you to grab large
  clumps, so dont mix it up or add soy sauce
• You may pick up the chawan (bowl) to eat it
• Itadakimasu

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Dining ctnd

• Table Manners
• Eating Noodles
• Slurping is fine, but its not sucking, its
  inhaling
• Not necessary for spaghetti, though some do it
• The aftermath
• You dont have to clean your plate
• Not always necessary to stack plates that are
  finished
• Keep your area clean
• Paying
• If youre invited by senpai, they may treat you
• Refuse until they seem offended
• Thank them profusely!
• Gochisou samadeshita
• A little thank you note with a one-point
  English joke or something is a thoughtful
  gesture
• Going Dutch is a bit different
• The designated host usually divvies up the check
• Men usually pay more than women

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PRACTICE!

• At a new friends home
• At a restaurant
• At an enkai

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Miscellaneous tips Donts

• Be late or cancel
• If you are late, its important to apologize the
  greater the inconvenience, the more ways you
  should demonstrate your regret
• If you must cancel, deeply apologize and
  suggest an alternative date or solution
• You will not receive invitations again if you
  continue to dottu kyanseru
• Attend to personal grooming in public
• Blow your nose in private
• Mints are better than chewing gum you can bring
  a toothbrush around if you need
• Do your makeup in the bathroom
• Some Western body language
• Yawning is BAD, period (kara genki)
• Fidgeting / shaking legs comes off as childish
• Be a rude communicator
• Dont ask why!
• Communication in Japan is like bowling, not
  tennis
• Complaining or commenting about how something is
  weird in Japan may be taken personally

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Miscellaneous tips Donts ctnd

• WARPS
• Automatically feel that you have to take it!
• If you feel offended by
• A personal question, just smile and say, Chotto
  hazukashii desu
• A comment, just make a tight smile and try to
  move the conversation away from it
• A gesture (sexual harassment), you dont have to
  tolerate it and can be firm in cutting off that
  behavior

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Miscellaneous tips Dos

• Appearances count!
• Keep your hair and clothing tidy and in good
  condition
• Get anti-mildew stuff for your closet
• Get a fan to blow air through your closet for
  drying clothing
• The amount of care you put into your appearance
  reflects how much care you will put into the
  relationship
• Keep your apartment clean and in good shape for
  your sanity and to increase your social options
• Open body language crossed arms vs. folded
  hands
• Thank people graciously!
• Ask questions politely
• People love to share information about themselves
  and their culture
• Who, what, when, where, how are fine
• Be comfortable with silence
• Bring a stash of Western goodies just in case
• Wrapped non-chocolate mints or hard candy lasts
  at least a month
• Pencils, pins, postcards, blank CDs to make
  mixes

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Miscellaneous tips Dos ctnd

• Earnestness goes a long way
• Actions speak louder than words
• SMILE

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Resources

• Google Japanese Etiquette
• Big eyes and ears
• Books by Donald Richie (Temple University
  professor)
• Hokkaido Highway Blues Hitchhiking Japan by Will
  Ferguson