Title: How the Bough Bends: The Creation of Family, Kinship and Community by Users of Donated Gametes
1How the Bough BendsThe Creation of Family,
Kinship and Community by Users of Donated Gametes
- Leanna Wolfe, Ph.D.
- Presentation to the American Anthropological
Association - November 15, 2006
2Who Uses Donated Gametes?
- Single Mothers by Choice (SMCs
- 17 rise in babies born to 30-44 unmarried women
between 1999-2003 - Lesbian Couples
- Families with Fertility Issues
- donor sperm
- donor eggs
- donor embryos
3The Gamete Donation Business
- Sperm Banks
- California Cryobank shipped 9,600 vials of sperm
to single women in 2005. - Egg Donor Agencies
- 8,000 fees are typical
- Surrogate Mothers
- Gestational Surrogates
4Research Methods
- Participant Observation
- Online Support Groups
- Infertility Conferences
- In-Person Support Groups
- Interviews
- Email Surveys
5What Gamete Recipients Seek
- Intelligence
- Personality
- Sperm Donors--sense of humor
- Egg Donors--goals
- Genetics
- Phenotype Matches
- Open vs Anonymous
- Full Legal Rights
6Sperm Recipients vs Egg Recipients
- Single Mothers by Choice
- Body is Normal Life is Abnormal
- If Fertility Challenges Life and Body both feel
Abnormal
- Mothers through Egg Donation
- Life is Normal Body is Abnormal and for some,
Intensely Abnormal
7Single Mother by Choice Profile
- Late 20s through mid 40s
- Highly Educated with Professional Career
- Often Financially Secure
- Fiercely Independent
- Family Revolutionaries
- Clear distinction between themselves and women
who become single mothers through divorce or by
accident - Biotime Clock Pressure
- Baby First Marriage Maybe
8SMC Process (part I)Thinking
- No more time to wait for Mr. Right
- Implications of an SMC Identity
- Networking/Support Groups
- Finances
- Personal Support System
- Let Go of the Western Cultural Dream of Parenting
with a Beloved Husband
9Ive faced that Im not going to have this
picket-fence-y lifenow I have permission to
directly pursue what I want. Its a very curious
and ambivalent liberation, because I would rather
not be single. Its not my first choice. TTC
Choice Mother
10SMC Process (part II)(Separation)
- Trying to Conceive (TTC)
- Scheduled Inseminations
- 2 week wait
- Fertility Boosters
- IUI, IVF, hormone regimens
- Many were unaware how fragile female fertility is
- Deciding on a Donor
- Anonymous vs. Open
- Dream Guy vs. Similar Phenotype to Herself
- Sperm Bank vs. Private Arrangement
11When it came to donor selection, I found it
almost as difficult as selecting a husband, but
was thankfully more successful at it. It was a
fascinating process in that the package of
traits I focussed on were different from those
I looked at on a date or in a relationship. Choic
e Mother of a one year old child
12My very first consideration for choosing a donor
was that he be open or willing to meet my child
after he or she turns 18. Intelligence was a
huge factor as well. I have a lot of my own
identity wrapped up in intelligence and really
want the same for my child. TTC Choice Mother
13I weighed phenotype pretty heavily until I
realized that there was not an unlimited
catalogue of donors from which to choose. Then I
went with intelligence and personality. Choice
Mother of two children
14SMC Process (part III)(liminal phase)
- Pregnancy
- Fear
- Begin incorporating New Identity
- Start Building Support System
- Social, Physical, Emotional
- May Stop Dating
- Shift in expectations from relationships with men
15SMC Process (part IV)(re-incorporation)
- Birth
- Parenting
- Allomothers and Daddies
- Support Systems
- Blood Family
- Other SMCs
- Extended Family via Donor Sibling Registry
- Networks can be akin to a polygynous family
without the financial support or physical
presence of the progenitor/father.
16(No Transcript)
17Its exceptionally important that my son know
other children who are like him so that he does
not feel like an anomaly. I have found that
having a child on my own has made him something
of a community baby.unlike married couples who
want/expect privacy on these issues. Choice
Mother of a one year old child
18(No Transcript)
19Egg Recipient Profile
- Married/Nuclear Family
- some SMCs
- 30s-early 50s
- Fertility Problems
- often age-related
- unsuccessful with IUI/IVF treatments
- Very much want children OR siblings for their
birth children
20Egg Recipient Process (part I)
- Thinking
- Acceptability of Non-Genetic Connection to child?
- Costs? Very Expensive
- Donor Fees, Lab Fees, Limited Insurance Coverage
- Tell Others? Keep Secret?
- Compare to Adoption
- More control over prenatal environment
- Health Considerations
- for both mother and babies
21Egg Recipient Process (part II)(separation)
- Trying to Conceive
- Selecting a Donor
- Protocols
- Sync up recipient and donors menstrual cycles
- IVF process for donor
- Uterine prep process for recipient
- Transfer
- 2 week wait
22Most Important Egg Donor Qualities
23Desired Egg Donor Qualities
24Regarding Race/Ethnicity, we wanted someone who
blended well with usthey didnt have to match
me! I had no interest in telling the general
public about our infertility issues It all
worked out in the end, I went with my gut and I
wasnt wrong. DE Mother
25One of the things that spoke to me about her
was a photo. She had an expression that could
have been me in college. She didnt look like
me. She was no clone. But something in that
expression spoke to me. DE Mother of two children
26We mainly looked at her smile. That was huge.
She seemed to love life Expectant DE Mother
27Egg Recipient Process (part III)(liminal phase)
- Pregnancy
- Often Difficult
- Miscarriages
- embryos that might otherwise have never implanted
- Premature Births
- Multiples
- anxiety over carrying/raising twins
28Egg Recipient Process (part IV)(re-incorporation)
- Birth
- C-sections common
- Immediate Love for the Baby
- Babies treated w/extreme care devotion
- Postpartum Depression Rare
- Very relieved to finally become a Mother
- Parenting
- Join the world of normal parents
29Conclusions
- Gamete seekers focus on intelligence, personality
and phenotype - Seek normal gametes to create normal families
- Family/Community Revolutionaries?
- Donor Sibling Registry
- DE support through conception process but little
interest in social networking for parenting. - New Definitions of Family and Community