Dealing with Parents

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Dealing with Parents

• presented by
• Marlon Cousin
• Parental Involvement Coordinator

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The Importance of No Child Left Behind

• No Child Left Behind is about a commitment
  to all children, and of course, its one that we
  absolutely must honor if were going to continue
  to thrive as the great nation we are.
• -Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings

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What is parental involvement under No Child Left
Behind?

• The statute defines parental involvement as the
  participation of parents in regular, two-way, and
  meaningful communication involving student
  academic learning and other school activities,
  including ensuring..

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• that parents play an integral role in assisting
  their childs learning
• that parents are encouraged to be actively
  involved in their childs education at school

• that parents are full partners in their childs
  education and are included, as appropriate, in
  decision-making and on advisory committees to
  assist in the education of their child and
• that other activities are carried out, such as
  those described in section 1118 of the ESEA
  (Parental Involvement). Section 9101(32), ESEA.

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Why is parental involvement important?

• A synthesis of the research concluded that the
  evidence is consistent, positive, and convincing
  families have a major influence on their
  childrens achievement in school and through
  life.
• When schools, families, and community groups work
  together to support learning, children tend to do
  better in school, stay in school longer, and like
  school more.

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R-E-S-P-E-C-TMakes a Difference

• Respect is key for both parents and teachers
  throughout the year. Conferences will be
  successful when attitudes of respect and
  gratitude are communicated in both directions.
• Parents need to walk away from conferences with
  hope.
• Have sincere, specific praise to give to the
  parents.
• Parents also want an honest appraisal of their
  childs weaknesses.

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R-E-S-P-E-C-TBefore the Conference

• Be prepared to
• Ask questions
• Answer questions
• Use specific comments, evidence, and everyday
  language
• Adhere to allotted time
• Take notes
• Finally, remember you are the same team.

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R-E-S-P-E-C-TDuring the Conference

• Relay positive comments
• Encourage the parent
• Share, information
• Put a plan together
• Express areas the student needs to work on
• Close the conference with a review
• Thank the parent

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R-E-S-P-E-C-TAfter the Conference

• Follow through on
• the agreed upon plan
• explaining the plan, using everyday language
• continued communications
• modifying the plan if needed
• expressing thanks

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The ABCs of Communicating with Parents
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Allow Enough Time

• Schedule plenty of time for the meeting.
• Twenty to thirty minutes is usually adequate.
• If you are scheduling back-to-back conferences,
  be sure to allow enough time between them (10
  minutes or so) so you can make necessary notes on
  the just-concluded conference and prepare for the
  upcoming one.

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Be Ready for Questions

• Be prepared to answer specific questions parents
  may have. They are likely to be questions such
  as
• Is my child working up to his/her ability level?
• How is my child doing in specific subjects?
• Does my child cause any trouble?
• Does my child have any specific skills or
  abilities in
• schoolwork?

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Contact Parents Early

• You will get your relationship with parents off
  to a good start if you contact them before the
  school year begins or very early into the year,
  perhaps with an introductory phone call.
• Give parents an outline/syllabus of what their
  children will be studying, and let them know you
  will be happy to meet with them throughout the
  course of the school year.

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Do Not Judge

• It may not always be possible to react neutrally
  to what parents say, but communicating your
  judgments of parents behaviors can be a
  roadblock to a productive relationship with them.

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Encourage Both Parents to Attend Conferences

• Misunderstandings are less common if both parents
  hear what you have to say, and you will be able
  to gauge the kind of support both parents give
  the child.
• In addition, many children come from
  single-parent homes you could unwittingly hurt a
  childs feelings by always asking to meet the
  mother.

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Forget the Education Jargon

• Educational phrases like criterion-referenced
  testing, perceptual skills and least
  restrictive environment may be too much for
  parents to understand.
• Keep the conversation simple and focused on the
  child.

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Get your papers organized in advance

• Assemble your grade book, test papers, samples of
  students work, attendance records, and other
  pertinent data together ahead of time.
• That way you wont be fumbling through stacks on
  your desk during the meeting.

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Have a Plan

• Have in mind a general but flexible outline of
  what youre going to say, including a survey of
  student progress, a review of his or her
  strengths and needs, and a proposed plan of
  action.

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Insist on a Family-Friendly Environment

• Greet parents near the entrance they will use.
• If you are unable to meet them at the door,
  inform the secretary or receptionist of the
  scheduled conference, so they will know the
  whereabouts and be better prepared to assist the
  parents.

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Just Listen to What Parents Have to Say

• Most adults are poor listeners
• We concentrate on what were going to say next,
  or we let our minds drift off to other concerns,
  or we hear only part of what a speaker is saying.
• You will get more out of a conference if you
  really listen to what parents are saying to you.

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Keep a Record of the Conference

• You may find it helpful later to have a brief
  record of what was said at the conference, what
  suggestions for improvement were made and so
  forth.
• Make notes as soon as possible after the
  conference while details are still fresh.

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Learn the Names

• Dont assume that Jennifer Peabodys mother is
  Mrs. Peabody. Check your records ahead of time
  to make sure youve got the parents name right.
• Dont assume that the wrinkled gray-haired
  gentleman coming in with Johnny is his
  grandfather. It could be his father, or an
  uncle. Politely ask.

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Meet again if you need to

• If you feel you need more time, arrange another
  meeting later rather than trying to rush
  everything.

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No Physical Barriers

• Do not sit behind your desk, while forcing the
  parents to squeeze into the childrens desks on
  the front row.
• Arrange conference-style seating if possible so
  youll all be equals.

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Prepare to offer a suggested course of action

• Parents appreciate being given some specific
  direction.
• If Jane is immature, it might be helpful to
  suggest parents give her a list of weekly chores,
  allow her to take care of a pet, or give her a
  notebook to write down assignments.

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Question the Parents

• Ask for their opinions. Let parents know youre
  interested in their opinions, are eager to answer
  their questions and want to work with them
  throughout the year to help make their childs
  education the best.

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Review the students strengths

• It is easy for parents to feel defensive since
  many of them see themselves in their children.
• You will help if you review the childs strengths
  and areas of need rather than dwelling on
  criticism or stressing weakness.
• Try to balance every weakness of a child
  discussed with one of the childs strengths.

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Stress Collaboration

• Let the parent know you want to work together in
  the best interests of the child.

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Turn the other cheek

• In routine parent conferences, its unusual to
  run into parents who are abusive and hostile.
• But it can happen.
• Try not to be rude, whatever the provocation.
• Listen to parents in as pleasant a manner as
  possible, without getting defensive.

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Use Body Language

• Non-verbal cues set the mood of the conference.
• Smile, nod, make eye contact and lean forward
  slightly.
• Use body language to let parents know youre
  interested.

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Verify Information

• Before the conference ends, summarize the
  discussion and what actions you and the parents
  have decided to take.

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Wind up on a positive note..

• End with an encouraging comment about the future
  expectations for the student.

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eXplore Solutions Together

• Things will go smoother if you focus on solutions
  rather than on the childs problem.
• Discuss what and the parents can do to improve
  the situation.
• Plan a course of action together.

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Your Comments Must be Specific

• Parents may flounder if you deal only in
  generalities.
• Instead of saying She doesnt accept
  responsibility, be specific by pointing out
  Amanda had a whole week to finish her report but
  she only wrote two paragraphs.

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Zoom in on the child

• You dont want to pry, of course, but remember to
  ask the parents if theres anything they you
  should know about the child (such as study
  habits, relationship with siblings, any important
  events in his or her life) which may affect his
  or her school work.

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