The Over 9000 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins

1
The Over 9000 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins

• Story by Jihoon Lee and Niv M.,
• Trefz, bio honors, p. 4
• Characters by Theodore Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss

2
Close Encounters with the Third King

• Once upon a time, Bartholomew Bart Simpson
  Cubbins was in the local market when King Derwin,
  the third king of the Democratic Peoples
  Republic of Warcraft, arrived. It was customary
  to remove ones hat in the presence of a king.
  Bart proceeded to do so. But he wasnt prepared
  for the attack of the lice

Take off your hat, boy.
Sure. But my hair is a bit itchy
3
Premonition

• The lice had a premonition that this would
  happen and started preparing for the separation,
  as one-half of the population needed to stay to
  provide parasitic energy to the ones on the
  discarded hat. They arranged each other in a
  special position and started to trade body parts
  for better lives when they separate, and also
  tried to duplicate the hat so that the ones
  living on hair will have a new home. The housing
  units for the louse colony began to disintegrate.
  

Ill trade an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth
4
Severance

• To promote new life, louse couples lined up and
  separated through highways which were large
  groups of Barts long and wavy hair.

Kay.
See you later!
5
Extreme Makeover

• When Bart finally got to take his first hat off,
  he found two hats, one on his head and the other
  being held in his hand. He noticed that they
  both were different. Inside, the housing units
  were built again.

?
?
6
The Clone Wars

• Meanwhile, a civil war broke out on both hats
  that caused lice to be lined up and stretched on
  the highways. All lice got cut in half because of
  the conflict, into symmetrical halves, and each
  of the hats divided once more the housing units
  were destroyed and reconstructed once again in
  the new hats. The half lice did not die, however
  they were placed in cryogenic storage waiting to
  meet with other half-lice and duplicate into full
  lice later.

Housing unit down!!! Evacuate immediately!
Half-Lice
Yes, sir!
7
Two for Two

• At this point, Bart was unknowingly holding two
  different hats and was wearing two other
  different hats. The two hats on his head fell
  off due to the wind and another hat formed with a
  full set of lice couples.

8
Additional hats

• The lice kept dividing like this every time Bart
  tried to take off a hat. The army decided to put
  him in a labor camp as a political prisoner for
  not taking off his hat properly. It looked like
  the hat was a living organism, so they decided to
  shoot and kill the hat on his head to prevent
  more divisions. Unfortunately, none of the lice
  were killed.

Nothings happening
9
Even more hats!

• Despite the valiant efforts of the glorious
  Peoples Army of Warcraft, the hats went on
  dividing. It then recruited the help of the
  Warcraft Peoples Air Force and Navy, which did
  intense naval shelling and bombing on Barts hat.
  Luckily Bart survived, but so did the lice. He
  took off his hat again and more appeared.

10
Bernard Madoff Comes Over

• After the failure of the Warcraft military, King
  Derwin decided to bring over Bernard Madoff, with
  his excellent stealing skills, from the United
  States. Unfortunately, he only was able to take
  off one hat.

My telepathic stealing skills are only partially
working!!!
North Korea would like to have those skills
11
Its Over 9000!!!!!

• The hats were forming too fast. In total, the
  lice kept dividing in this manner 2251 times and
  finally reached 9004 hats. After the final
  division, one of the hats with half-lice stayed
  on his head and division ended they needed to
  construct additional pylons but had too few
  minerals.

12
Anger Management

• King Derwin became frustrated and said "GIVE IT
  TO ME!" and took the hat. Then there was no hat
  on Bart's head.

13
½ ½ ? 1

• The King put the hat on his head along with his
  crown, upon which the 1/2 lice united in pairs
  and became 2 1/2 lice each (although they did not
  become whole lice because they were not entirely
  symmetrical or compatible.)

14
Birth of the Super-Fancy Hat

• The King said YES!!! because the combined
  crown and Bart's hat became a super-fancy hat.
• And Bartholomew
• Cubbins lived
• happily ever
• after with his
• family.

This is even better than my free 10,000-day trial
of North Korean Starcraft!
15
Relations w/ Meiosis Part I

• The events starting from the destruction of the
  lice housing to the creation of the first pair of
  hats in each cycle is meiosis I.
• The destruction of housing and the exchange of
  body parts (synapsis and crossing-over)
  represents prophase I
• The line up and separation of lice couples
  represents metaphase I and anaphase I (highways
  mitotic spindle, lined up on metaphase plate)
• Creation of new housing units (nuclei) and new
  hats (separate cells) in the first division
  represents telophase I and cytokinesis
• ½ louse 1 sister chromatid
• 1 whole louse 2 sister chromatid
• 1 louse couple 2 homologous chromosomes

16
Relations w/ Meiosis Part II

• The events of the civil war and its aftermath
  represent meiosis II.
• The civil war (destruction of housing units, or
  the nuclei) represents prophase II
• The line up and separations of half-lice on the
  highways are representative of metaphase II and
  anaphase II
• Formation of new hats represent telophase II and
  cytokinesis
• Not enough minerals meant that the cells had
  insufficient material or reached a stop
  checkpoint to produce more gametes

17
Relations w/ Fertilization

• King Derwins action of grabbing the hat,
  putting it on his head, and the crown and hat
  turning into a super-hat (representative of
  zygote) is representative of fertilization.

18
Works Cited

• Image sources
• Microsoft Office 2007 Clip Art
• http//traitorjoe.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/mado
  ff2.jpg (Bernard Madoff)
• http//images.newstatesman.com/articles/2008/1033/
  20080915northkorea_w.jpg (North Korean soldier
  with binoculars)
• http//www.tapirback.com/tapirgal/gifts/friends/in
  sects/louse-stuffed-f1566.jpg (stuffed louse
  doll)
• http//www.fultonengineeredspecialties.com/images/
  cryogenic_storage_tank.jpg (nitrogen tank)
• http//img.photobucket.com/albums/v645/clearout/H2
  -LOGO.jpg (Half-Life video game logo)
• http//www.tonyrogers.com/images/weapons/tomahawk_
  01_large.jpg (Tomahawk cruise missile)
• http//www.nps.gov/pub_aff/maritime/USS_Cowpens_CG
  63.jpg (frigate with missile launching)
• http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File444kc1.jpg
  (tank firing)
• http//americanhistory.si.edu/militaryhistory/img/
  graphics/1682_l.jpg (bomber aircraft)
• http//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ea
  /BB61_USS_Iowa_BB61_broadside_USN.jpg
  (battleship, inverted)
• http//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/73
  /Kim-jong-il_portrait.jpg (Kim Jong Il picture
  3)
• www.genetics.gsk.com/graphics/meiosis-big.gif
  (both meiosis diagrams)
• http//www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/brainiac/K
  im20jong20il.jpg (Kim Jong-Il 1)
• http//www.broadband-finder.co.uk/blog/wp-content/
  uploads/2008/06/kimjongil.jpg (Kim Jong-Il 2)
• http//replicatorinc.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2
  008/11/world_of_warcraft_logo.jpg (Warcraft logo)
• http//www.supportusamilitary.org/Howitzer_firing.
  jpg (howitzer)
• http//www.simpsoncrazy.com/gallery/images/BartSim
  pson19.gif (Bart Simpson 2)