Language and Linguistics Unit 6 Language Function 3: Managing Interpersonal Relations

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Language and LinguisticsUnit 6 Language
Function 3 Managing Interpersonal Relations

• Presented By Jia Lin (Dana)

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Did you think about it?

• Language learners often find apologies and
  requests difficult.
• Understanding culture, face and politeness
  maxims can improve interpersonal relationships.
• Unit 6 will focus on these areas.

P199
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Unit 6 Objectives

• Learn about the connections between language,
  roles, status and interpersonal relations.
• Become more sensitive to social norms and the
  feelings of others.
• Develop a clearer sense of face and how to put
  your best face forward.
• Understanding politeness maxims.

A1 P202-203
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Unit 6 Overview
A1 P202-203
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Warm-up Exercise
Are there really too many people around you? Imagine that it is 8 am. You are on your way to class and you are the only passenger on the bus. The streets are empty. Feeling nervous? When you get off the bus, a person standing at the bus stop speaks to you... Role-play the conversation with your partner.
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Warm-up Exercise
The idea of empty streets strikes fear into the heart. Humans are really very social animals. We like to have other people around to work with, associate with and live with.
A1 P203
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1Roles and Relations in Language
A1 P204
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Key Terms

• hierarchy
• insider/outsider
• prestige
• social norms
• dominant
• subordinate
• individualism
• collectivism

• ...ranking in terms of authority
• ...person inside/outside the group
• ...respect or reputation
• ...standards of customary behavior
• ...one having higher authority
• ...one having lower authority
• ...favoring freedom independence
• ...favoring interests of the group

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Levels of authority in society.
National authority?President, Premier, Prime
Minister
Authority of province or state?Premier, Governor
Local authorities?Police, Mayor, City Hall
HIERARCHY
Workplace?Boss
Family?Parents
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Roles and degree of distance.

• In society, each person has his or her roles and
  responsibilities.
• Depending on how close or familiar two people
  are, the level of formality will be greater or
  less.
• The level of responsibility also varies with
  emotional distance (stranger, acquaintance or
  intimate).
• For example, every elderly person deserves
  respect, but you would probably do shopping or
  cleaning chores only for a close relative!

A1 T1 P204-205
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Insiders and outsiders.

• If you are considered part of the group (friend,
  family, team, nationality), then you are an
  insider.
• If you are excluded from the group, then you are
  an outsider.
• If you have prestige (high status), you enjoy
  respect and more people will want you in their
  groups. Examples?

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Its not easy being new.
Consider the following expressions... newcomer, new kid on the block, trainee, immigrant, waidiren... What do they all have in common? What is difficult about each situation? In a group of 2-5 students, choose a situation in which a person is a newcomer (new work, school, country or city). How can a person make the transition from outsider to insider? What steps must he or she take? What does he or she need to learn? (Discuss.)
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Social norms.

• Behavior in public is governed by social norms.
• For example, people waiting for service at a bank
  or ticket counter are expected to queue or wait
  in line. Waiting in line is considered proper
  behavior.
• What will happen if a person jumps a queue in
  China? USA? Canada?
• How do social norms differ between cultures?

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How social norms may differ.
Public action A. Wear slippers to class. B. Wear
pajamas outside. C. Picking ones nose/eyes. D.
Spitting on the ground. E. Elbow through a
crowd. F. Stand within 30 cm of an
acquaintance. G. Greet by kissing cheeks.
?
Location 1) China 2) Japan 3) France 4) USA
Outcome a) Considered acceptable. b) Considered
a little unacceptable/strange. c) Considered
rude/offensive/weird.
?
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How social norms may differ.

• Public action
• Wear slippers to class. (Generally not
  acceptable.)
• Wear pajamas outside. (Okay in China, considered
  odd in France and USA.)
• Picking ones nose/eyes. (Picking eyes not as
  rude as nose in USA.)
• Spitting on the ground. (Generally not
  acceptable, rude in cities.)
• Elbow through a crowd. (Excusable in an emergency
  in USA, okay in China.)
• Stand within 30 cm of an acquaintance. (More
  acceptable in China and France, less acceptable
  in Japan and USA.)
• Greet by kissing cheeks. (Common in France,
  uncommon but acceptable in USA, weird in China
  and Japan.)

A1 T2 P206-207
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Seating arrangements.

• At this company meeting, who would you say has
  the highest position? Next?
• Usually, the dominant person sits at the head,
  center or left position.
• Subordinates sit on the right and sides. Sitting
  opposite the boss may indicate a secondary
  position of power.

A1 T2 P207-208
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Consideration for others.

• Children need to be taught manners or the need
  to consider other peoples needs and feelings.
• Putting the interests of individuals first is
  called individualism, putting the interests of
  the group first is termed collectivism.
• Degrees of individualism and collectivism vary
  between cultures. The size and scope of a
  collective group may also vary.

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Consideration for others.

• How may ideas of collectivism or individualism
  influence... whether people greet strangers?
  behavior at traffic lights? who pays for a
  childs education? vacations?

A1 T3 P208-209
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Professional ethics.

• Doctors need to apply professional ethics in the
  way they talk to patients (e.g. break bad news).
• It is important to show consideration and respect
  for the feelings of patients and family members.
• Give examples (from the text or experience) that
  highlight how doctors can show sensitivity.

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Showing sensitivity in the family.

• Mutual concern and sensitivity contributes to a
  happy marriage.
• Wife You should know how I feel.
• Husband Why didnt you just say so!
• Examples?

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Key Concepts
Task 1 Understand roles, relations and status... Hierarchy, distance and prestige all affect the way people treat one another.
Task 2 Discover social norms... Social norms govern human behavior and expectations of what is proper behavior.
Task 3 Develop awareness of others... Degrees of individualism, collectivism, sensitivity.
Task 4 Activity summary... Successful social relations depend on being aware of others and showing consideration for them.
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2Chinese and English Faces
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Key Terms

• face
• condescension
• prominence
• self-image
• vulnerability
• negative face
• positive face

• ...a persons image and esteem
• ...to patronize an inferior
• ...being distinguished or important
• ...the view one has of oneself
• ...relative ease of being damaged
• ...desire not to be forced to do sth.
• ...desire to be considered and appreciated

A2 T1-5 P215-231
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The Chinese concept of face.

• Certain aspects of mianzi or lian are difficult
  to translate into English, but face generally
  refers to a persons esteem or image in front of
  others.
• A person who loses face loses status and worth in
  the estimation of others.
• To cause someone else to lose face is to inflict
  psychological harm and reflects badly on the
  doer. However, giving a person face shows
  kindness and respect.

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Explain how face is involved.

• In each case, explain how the person lost either
  lian or mianzi
• a boss invites his secretary to dinner but is
  turned down
• a secretary helps a friend get a job at her
  company but her friend is not a hard worker
• a female student suffers condescension from a
  teacher who says she cant understand physics
  because she is only a girl
• a mans wife leaves him to become anothers
  mistress.

A2 T1 P215-218
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Lian involves fulfilling expectations.

• A decent person tries to live up to moral and
  other standards.
• A well-educated person who fails in business, a
  wife who fails to care for her family or a leader
  who fails to serve his people have all lost lian.
• What other examples can you think of that involve
  losing or gaining lian?

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Mianzi involves influence and worth.

• A person with mianzi can achieve goals through
  personal influence on others.
• Achievement indicates greater worth or mianzi,
  but failure to achieve goals indicates that
  mianzi is lacking.
• Beware challenging, criticizing or failing to
  give a person due prominence can cause him/her to
  lose mianzi!
• Damage to mianzi is not as serious as damage to
  lian. Mianzi can be recovered more easily.
  Examples?

A2 T2 P221-224
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Everyone needs to have dignity.

• Even children need some dignity and self-esteem.
• The self-esteem of teenagers is especially
  fragile.
• Parents and teachers should not humiliate young
  people, but find other ways to correct them.
  Examples?

A2 T3 P224-226
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Understanding face in English.

• A persons sense of face is shaped by culture and
  environment.
• People of the British upper class used to have a
  strong sense of honor, pride and dignity.
  Compare the loss of face of an upper-class
  English gentleman who is forced to work to the
  Manchu in Case 8 (Task 1, p 218).
• Americans tend to place more emphasis on internal
  self-image than on external appearances and
  appraisals.

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Uses of the word face in English.

• put on my face
• put on a brave face
• the face of a building
• tried to save face
• dare to show his face
• face the facts
• to his face
• make a face

• ...apply makeup
• ...show courage despite fear
• ...the front side
• ...avoid embarrassment
• ...make an appearance
• ...admit sth. difficult
• ...brazenly, without fear
• ...move facial muscles in a silly or impudent way

A2 T4 P226-229
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Negative and positive face.

• Negative face involves being free to do things
  without being imposed upon by anyone.
• Example a manager does not answer the telephone
  directly calls are first handled by a secretary.
  
• Not related to the concept of mianzi.

• Positive face involves being appreciated and
  having ones wishes fulfilled.
• Example a popular actress enjoys being admired
  and catered to.
• Similar to the concept of mianzi.

A2 T3 P229-230
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Vulnerability of face.

• The vulnerability of a persons face refers to
  the danger that he/she will lose face.
• For example, a request can be a threat to the
  positive face (lose face if refused) of the one
  requesting, as well as the negative face (lose
  face if imposed upon) of the one of whom the
  request is made.
• Polite preparatory work before making a request
  and giving the other an easy way out reduces
  the threat to both parties.

...but only if you want to.
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Key Concepts
Task 1 Reflect on Chinese lian and mianzi... Comparison of lian and mianzi through use of examples.
Task 2 Lets do a bit of theorizing... Exploring the reasons for differences between lian and mianzi.
Task 3 Care for childrens lian... Dignity and self-esteem are also important for children.
Task 4 Toward an understanding of English face... Examine the use of face in English.
Task 5 Activity summary... Understand how the Chinese and English concepts of face are similar/different.
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3Chinese and English Politeness
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Key Terms

• modest
• considerate
• refinement
• tact
• maxim
• approbation
• sympathy

• ...having a humble, moderate self-image
• ...showing thoughtful care to others
• ...polish or elegance in behavior, manners
• ...ability to speak or act without offending
• ...rule of conduct expressed in few words
• ...expressing approval and agreement
• ...showing fellow feeling

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Chinese values.
Value Oriented to Example of how it may be expressed
warmth others Heap up the guests plate with meat.
respect others Remember rank and title.
modesty self Nali, nali. Be careful not to put oneself above others.
considerateness self, others Give up ones seat to an older or sick person or a mother with a small child.
refinement self Avoid things that are dirty or distasteful. Show a bit of reserve.
A3 T1 P231-232
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English values.
Value Oriented to Example of how it may be expressed
freedom self Do as you like, let others do as they like.
respect others Do not impose on others. Assume that others know what they are doing.
tact others Avoid doing anything to harm the feelings of others.
honesty others Say what you really mean unless this conflicts with showing tact.
kindness others When possible, try to make others happy.
A3 T1 P231-232
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Chinese politeness maxims.
Do you agree with the following translations of Chinese politeness maxims? Discuss in groups of 2-5. Be modest and self-denigrating when talking about yourself but be lavish in your praise of others. Use proper terms of address when speaking to others. Be refined, avoiding things that are distasteful. Show a bit of reserve. Try to agree with others as much as possible. Be virtuous in words and actions.
A3 T2 P232-234
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English politeness maxims.
Consider what one writer said regarding principles of English politeness... Be tactful. Avoid saying anything that might disparage or upset the other person. Be generous. Feel free to offer, but do not make demands. If possible, show approbation/approval. Try to agree when you can. If you cant, its better not to say anything. Be modest. Do not brag. Be self-deprecating. Show sympathy and fellow feeling.
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Compare politeness maxims.

• Since both Chinese and English politeness maxims
  include modesty, agreement, approval, tact,
  generosity and sympathy, are they the same?
• How are they different?
• Do people always follow the maxims?

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Lets look at an example.
An American couple come to China for 3 months for business. While in China, they feel they were given poor service at certain shops. They complain loudly and at length to their Chinese friends. What maxim did the Americans violate? Why? How could their Chinese friends repair the situation?
modesty tact refinement
generosity agreement sympathy
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Analysis of the first example.
By complaining so much, the Americans failed to show tact. They may have considered their Chinese friends as insiders but they failed to realize that criticizing local people could alienate their friends. The Chinese friends could repair the situation by showing sympathy and reminding the Americans of the many times they received good service.
modesty tact refinement
generosity agreement sympathy
A3 T4 P236
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Lets look at a second example.
A foreign teacher (female) does some proofreading work for a Chinese publishing company. A manager (Chinese male) mentions that the company wants to publish more childrens books. The teacher expresses interest in writing such books. The manager does not respond but later invites her to dinner. The teacher says she is sorry and has other plans. Both are unhappy. Can you suggest which maxims were violated?
modesty tact refinement
generosity agreement sympathy
A3 T4 P236
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Analysis of the second example.
Culture/gender differences call for extra refinement and sympathy. When the manager did not respond to her idea, the teacher may have concluded that he was not interested. Since in her country business is usually discussed in a daytime meeting and not at dinner, she probably felt uneasy with his invitation. He may have sensed her unease and felt insulted, because in China business is often discussed over dinner!
modesty tact refinement
generosity agreement sympathy
A3 T4 P236
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Key Concepts
Task 1 Reflect on the differences between Chinese and English values... Similar values between Chinese and English.
Task 2 Chinese politeness maxims... include modesty, terms of address, refinement, agreement and virtue.
Task 3 English politeness maxims... include modesty, agreement, approbation, tact, generosity and sympathy.
Task 4 Make a contrastive study... Compare the way Chinese and English apply (or fail to apply) maxims.
Task 5 Activity summary... You should be able to analyze behavior to find underlying values and maxims.
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Unit 6 Review Questions

• Give an example of a social norm.
• What is the difference between individualism and
  collectivism?
• Explain the ideas behind the English face, and
  the Chinese terms lian and mianzi.
• What are the similarities and differences between
  Chinese and English politeness?

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Progress Report Assignment 2

• You should now be able to do the 6th Progress
  Report.
• You should also be able to answer the questions
  for Assignment 2.
• Have you read through all of the questions?

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Something to think about...

• It seems that in all cultures, people want to
  give others a good impression of themselves
  (face).
• How can language learners determine when speech
  acts are sincere? When something is said to
  preserve/enhance face?

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Additional Reading

• How to follow politeness maxims in pass-time
  conversations... How to Communicate Successfully
  62-66
• Modes of address, address terms... The Cambridge
  Encyclopedia of Language 44-45.
• The concept of face... http//www.wikipedia.org/
  wiki/Face_(social_custom)

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Its time for YOUR questions.

• Are there still any areas of difficulty?
• Do you have any questions about concepts or their
  application?
• Thank you for your participation.

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