Evidence-based advice on how to feel good about yourself.

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Evidence-based advice on how to feel good about
yourself.

• Ramesh Perera-Delcourt
• Kaanan Bhavsar
• Gina Christoforidis
• Holly Winton
• Trainee Clinical Psychologists
• University of Surrey
• With thanks to
• Rupi Johal
• Dr Paul Davis

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Self-Esteem

• The extent to which people value and accept
  themselves
• Reflected in how people think about themselves,
  treat themselves and relate to others
• Everyone has some level of self-esteem!
• Higher self-esteem is associated with better
  physical and mental health.

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Format of the workshop

• Using a fictional character to keep workshop
  safe
• Think about how to apply the ideas to yourself
• Please ask questions either during or at the end.

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The cognitive-behavioural model

• Central idea The way that we think about events
  affects how we feel.
• Based on experimental evidence from cognitive
  psychology.
• Now popular form of therapy, Cognitive
  Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

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What do you see?
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• People can see and think about the same thing
  differently
• This affects how people feel
• There is nothing either good or bad, but
  thinking makes it so Hamlet

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The noise in the night

• You are asleep in bed one night.
• Suddenly, you are woken up by a noise downstairs.
• What goes through your mind?
• How do you feel?
• What do you do next?

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The cognitive-behavioural model of low self-esteem

• Types of Unhelpful Thoughts
• Perfectionist Standards
• Self-Criticism
• Anticipating Failure
• Mind-reading.

• Types of Unhelpful Behaviours
• Avoidance of situations which might threaten
  self-esteem
• Unhelpful behaviours (related to above thoughts)
• Ignoring positives Focusing on negatives.

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The cognitive-behavioural model of low
self-esteem example

• Jane
• Mid 30s
• Never been particularly confident
• Worsened recently due to stress
• Returned to work after first-time maternity
  leave
• High-powered marketing consultant.
• Feels strained, emotionally drained and like she
  cant cope.

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Janes thoughts-feelings-behaviour cycle
THOUGHTS
Mind-reading People will think I cant do my
job properly. Anticipate Failure I was worried
I would make a mistake. Perfectionist Standards
I had to get everything right or everyone would
think Im incapable. Self-Criticism Im
stupid, worthless, a failure.
BEHAVIOUR
Unhelpful Behaviour I stayed up all night
preparing materials for meeting. Avoidance
Ive tried to avoid going to these
meetings. Unhelpful Behaviour Stay quiet in
meetings. Focus on negatives One of the ideas
was a complete disaster. Ignore positives She
just said she liked my idea because she feels
sorry for me.
FEELINGS
Anxious Sad
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How to improve self-esteem

• Cognitive-behavioural approach identify thoughts
  that are contributing to negative mood
• Challenge self-critical thoughts
• Doing things differently also important.
• e.g. Decreasing avoidance and unhelpful
  behaviours like over-preparation.
• Focusing on thoughts in this session.

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Small-Group Exercise

• Discuss how to help Jane challenge her
  self-critical thoughts
• Whats the evidence for her thoughts?
• Is she focusing on the negative?
• Whats the bigger picture?
• Is she listening to that self-critical voice
  again?
• What might a friend say to her?

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Challenging ones own thoughts

• Applying this to oneself can be hard!
• Confirmation bias people attend to and
  remember information that fits with their current
  beliefs.
• Harder to spot for ourselves what we can see for
  others.

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The head-heart connection

• Believe it when I see it Need to experience
  alternative perspective, not just think it.
• Act differently in order to challenge old
  thoughts and support new ones.
• Behavioural Experiments

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Behavioural Experimentsa step-by-step guide
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Step 1 Belief to be tested

• What belief am I testing?
• If I make a mistake in front of my colleagues,
  everyone will think Im incapable.

Whats another way of looking at it? What else
could happen? (Alternative belief ratings
0-100) Some people may laugh at me, but others
may not (20) People wont ignore me and will
include me in discussions (15)
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Step 2 Planning

• What do I fear will happen? What am I
  predicting? (with belief ratings 0-100)
• Everyone will laugh at my ideas and ignore me
  (95)
• I will lose my job (70)

What exactly is my plan? (How will I test my
beliefs and how will I gather evidence?) At the
next meeting, I will prepare less and
deliberately put some mistkes into my
presentation.
What will I be tempted to do (safety
behaviours)? Avoid going to the meeting Go
quickly over the slides with mistakes on.
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Step 3 The Experiment

• What actually happened?
• I went to the meeting. I had 3 slides with errors
  on. I
• left them up for 30 seconds each. No-one
  commented
• at all!

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Step 4 Reflections

• Re-rate beliefs
• Everyone will laugh at my ideas and ignore me
  (50)
• I will lose my job (50)
• Some people may laugh at me, but others may not
  (65)
• People wont ignore me and will include me in
  discussions (65)

What have I learned from the experiment? What is
the next step? Im beginning to believe that it
is OK to make mistakes in my work, but am not
100 convinced. I would like to do more work to
reinforce these new, more helpful beliefs.
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Individual Exercise

• Plan another behavioural experiment for Jane
• Or
• Write down what ideas and techniques you plan to
  take away for yourself.

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Summary

• Self-esteem is about how we think about
  ourselves
• Identify your thoughts that make you feel bad
  about yourself
• Challenge these thoughts verbally and with
  behavioural experiments
• Employ some of the other strategies in the
  handout to increase your positive experiences and
  beliefs about yourself.

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Questions and Feedback