Relationship Bank Account

1
Relationship Bank Account

• Habit 4 Think Win-Win

2
Relationship Accounts

• You have an account for everyone you meet
• They never close
• Can meet up with someone years later and pickup
  where you left off
• You continually need to make deposits into the
  most important accounts otherwise by doing
  nothing, the account can go in the negative

3
RBA Deposits and Withdrawals

• Keep Promises
• Do small acts of kindness
• Be loyal
• Listen
• Say Im sorry
• Set clear expectations

• Break promises
• Keep to yourself
• Gossip and break confidences
• Dont listen
• Be arrogant
• Set false expectations

4
Keeping Promises

• By keeping promises you build trust with your
  friends, your parents, your teachers
• When you build trust, your life goes so much more
  smoothly

5
Doing Small Acts of Kindness

• We already know that this is a deposit in our
  personal bank account
• This is also a deposit in our relationship bank
  account with that person
• Dont wait until people are dead to give them
  flowers

6
Be Loyal

• Loyal people keep secrets
• Loyal people avoid gossip
• Loyal people stick up for others

7
Listen

• This is the beginning of Habit 5
• Friends/family sometimes just need you to listen
  so they can vent. They are not looking for
  answers to their problems or for you to do
  anything other than lsiten

8
Say Im Sorry

• Dont let your pride or lack of courage stand in
  the way of saying Im sorry to people you may
  have offended because it is never as scary as it
  seems and it will make you feel so good afterward

9
Set Clear Expectations

• Be honest up front and then no one is assuming
  anything that you didnt mean.

10
Habit 4 Think Win-Win

• Attitude toward life, a mental frame of mind that
  says I can win and so can you.
• No one is superior and no one is inferior
• Win Win is not
• Win-Lose
• Lose-Win
• Lose-Lose

11
Win-Lose

• Totem Pole-getting to the top
• Win-Lose is competitive
• Examples of Win-Lose
• Using other people for your own gain
• Trying to get ahead at the expense of another
• Spreading rumors
• Always insisting you get your own way
• Becoming jealous/envious when something good
  happens to someone else

12
Lose- Win

• These people avoid confrontation so they take the
  blame to keep the peace
• Its the doormat syndrome
• Giving into peer pressure
• Set low expectations and compromise your standards

13
Lose-Lose

• The downward spiral
• Revenge is lose-lose
• I dont care what happens to me as long as
  _________ doesnt do well

14
Win-Win

• The All You Can Eat Buffet
• There is plenty of success to go around
• Examples of win-win
• Your best friend got accepted at the college you
  wanted to get into. You didnt make it. You are
  happy for your friend
• You want to go out to dinner, your friend wants
  to see a movie. You get takeout and rent a movie
  for home

15
Win the Private Victory First

• If you are extremely insecure it is hard to think
  win-win because you are threatened by others
  successes. These people get jealous easily
• Personal security is the foundation for thinking
  win-win

16
Avoid Tumor Twins

• Competing and Comparing can keep you from
  thinking win-win
• Competing can be healthy when you compete against
  yourself or when it challenges you to reach and
  stretch and become your best
• Competing is bad when there is a win at any cost
  attitude or a fear of failure

17
Comparing

• Comparing yourself can become an addiction
• You feel superior one moment and then inferior
  the next moment
• Good comparing is comparing yourself against your
  potential

18
Win-Win

• It is contagious
• Sometimes though not everyone thinks win-win or
  you wont be able to find a win-win solution.
  Then you need to decide not to play or to walk
  away
• Increase how much you think win-win because it
  will make you feel great!