Barrington H. Brennen

1
Troubled Families
Barrington H. Brennen
The Winning Way
South England Camp Meeting June 11 to 16, 2012
2
Kinds of Families/Unions in Your Church

1. Nuclear family
2. One married partner with dependant children while
   one spouse is in prison
3. Never-married single adult families with children
4. Divorced with no children
5. Divorced with dependent children
6. Separated with dependent children
7. Separated with no children
8. Widowed with dependent children
9. Widowed with children
10. Step and blended families
11. Extended families. Adult relatives living with
    children
12. Grandparent with dependent children
13. Teenager with young siblings

3
Kinds of Families/Unions in Your Church

1. Common-law families
2. Seasonal (nomadic) unions One partner lives in
   another country
3. Emotionally separated or divorced unions
4. Affair-compromised unions
5. Same sex unions
6. Spiritually singles One spouse is not an
   Adventist
7. Transsexual unions
8. Multi-remarriage unions One or both partner
   married and divorced as least two times
9. Mixed couples Ethnical, racial, national,
   cultural, or language difference

Is your church meeting the need of these
families. You may not know that all of these
families are in your church, however, the
churchs ministry must be sensitive to the
possibility all of these families are worshipping
at your church.
4
Emotional Characteristics of Troubles Families

• Where there is more emphasis on who is in charge
  than having loving relationships
• Where parents are very very strict inflexible,
  rigid
• Where there are little or no rules/boundaries
  overly flexible
• Where there is a lion king father or mother
• Where the television/media dominates times
• Where there is an over exposure to sex
• Where is little or no bids for connection
  disconnected
• Where there is too much connection- overly
  connected, enmeshment
• Where there is some for of addiction gambling,
  alcohol, drugs, sex, love
• Where there are lots of criticizing, shaming and
  blaming

5
Spiritual Characteristics of Troubled Adventist
Families

• A good image is more important than having a
  genuine relationship with Christ
• Duplicitous lifestyle Parents are holy in
  church but sinners at home
• Hypocrisy is considered to be healthy
• A misinterpretation of
• Proverbs 1324 He who spares his rod hats his
  son . . .
• Ephesians 523 For the husband is the head of
  the wife . . .
• Isaiah 5813 From doing your pleasure on My holy
  day . . .
• Ephesians 522 Wives, submit to your husbands,
  as to the Lord.
• Keeping the Sabbath and being a vegetarian is so
  rigidly enforced it blurs the face of a loving
  Savior
• Abuse and divorce among Adventist are as common
  as the world.

6
The Basics

• We are all (male and female) made in Gods image
• Put God (not the church) first in everything
• Jesus is the head of your home
• Daily devotions and prayer
• Relationship are more important than rules
• Rules without relationship breed chaos
• Lots of touching, loving, sharing, forgiving
• Discipline is a lifestyle, attitude, environment,
  and not a simple action
• Love everyone unconditionally
• Happy, health families realize that a good
  relationship is not a gift but an achievement.
• Every family member is free to act and think
  independently
• Pares are to demonstrate love in and out of the
  home.

7
Our Greatest Need
Our greatest need is to have a close, loving and
open relationship with Jesus