Common Courtesies and Etiquette

1
Common Courtesies and Etiquette
2
Chapter overview

• Common courtesies and etiquette
• What are etiquette and manners?
• How should you make introductions?
• How should you dine in public?
• How should you handle social gatherings and
  formal occasions?
• What public courtesies should you observe?
• What hygiene and grooming basics should you
  observe?

3
Chapter overview (contd)

• Managing stress
• What is stress?
• What causes stress?
• How does stress affect teens?
• How can you manage stress?
• How can you manage your time to reduce stress?
• How can you use good study habits to prevent
  stress?

4
Chapter overview (contd)

• Behaving positively
• What are decisions and goals?
• What is the decision-making process?
• Why and how should you set goals?
• What are good interpersonal communication skills?
• How can you eliminate communication barriers?

5
Chapter overview (contd)

• Mental and emotional health care
• What are emotions?
• What are the most productive ways to express
  emotions?
• What are emotional needs?
• What are some typical mental health disorders?
• How can you prevent suicide?
• When and how should a person seek professional
  mental health help?
• What are the various methods of therapy?

6
Chapter overview (contd)

• Avoiding and preventing violence
• What is violence?
• How are gangs, weapons, and drugs related to
  violence?
• How can you protect yourself from violence and
  help prevent violence?
• How can you protect yourself from rape?

7
Motivation

• Today, well learn some common courtesies, the
  basics of etiquette, and how to handle any social
  situation with confidence.

8
Lesson overview

• What are etiquette and manners?
• When should you make social introductions?
• What is the protocol for a receiving line?
• How should you make personal introductions?
• How should you make introductions in informal
  situations?

9
Lesson overview (contd)

• When and how should you shake hands?
• What are the expected manners and courtesies
  before eating?
• What is a formal dining table setting?
• What are the American and European styles of
  eating?
• How should you use silverware?

10
Lesson overview (contd)

• How should you eat finger foods and soup?
• How should you use napkins?
• What are the basics of table manners?
• How should you make conversation during meals?
• How should you handle formal social invitations?

11
Lesson overview (contd)

• How should you dress for an event?
• What responsibilities do you have to the host?
• How should you write thank-you notes?
• What public courtesies should cadets observe?
• What hygiene and grooming basics should cadets
  observe?

12
Quick Write

• What do you think are good rules and practices
  for courtesy and etiquette? Make a list of at
  least six things that you do to maintain courtesy
  and etiquette in your everyday life.

13
What are etiquette and manners?

• Etiquettecode of behavior or courtesy based on
  rules of a polite society.
• Mannerssocially correct ways of acting as shown
  in widespread customs.
• Both are based in common courtesy, sincerity, and
  consideration for others.

14
When should you make social introductions?

• You should introduce two people when you realize
  that they dont know each other.
• At formal military receiving line functions, a
  designated person may be assigned to introduce
  everyone.

15
What is the protocol for a receiving line?

• Receiving linea group of people who stand in
  line and welcome guests attending a function.

16
What is the protocol for a receiving line?
(contd)

• At a military event, the receiving line includes
• The host (SASI or commander of the unit holding
  the reception)
• The spouse or guest of the host
• The ranking honored guest, with his or her spouse
  or guest
• Other dignitaries with their guests

17
What is the protocol for a receiving line?
(contd)

• Cadets and guests go through receiving line when
  they arrive.
• For couples, lady goes before gentleman.
• Adjutant may make introductions.
• Gentleman tells adjutant ladys name and his own.
• If alone, individual gives name to adjutant.
• Adjutant introduces attendees to host.
• If no adjutant, gentleman makes introductions.
• Guests and host shake hands, exchange greeting.

18
How should you make personal introductions?

• Keep introductions simple and direct.
• Introduce juniors to seniors.
• Introduce gentlemen to ladies.
• Introduce parents to teachers.
• Use the correct title when introducing someone to
  a dignitary.
• Stand up to acknowledge an introduction.

19
How should you make introductions in informal
situations?

• Use first names except for adults, seniors, or
  other important people.
• Remember names.
• Start a conversation or excuse yourself.
• Introduce yourself if there is no one to make the
  introduction.

20
When and how should you shake hands?

• All gentlemen and all JROTC cadets shake hands
  when introduced.
• Shake hands whenever someone extends a hand to
  shake.
• You do not have to shake hands at the end of a
  conversation.

21
When and how should you shake hands? (contd)

• How to shake hands
• Brief
• Firm and warm clasp
• Eye contact
• Do not
• Shake violently
• Grasp too tightly
• Shake for a long time
• Offer only fingertips

22
What are the expected manners and courtesies
before eating?

• Gentlemen sit after all ladies at the table are
  seated.
• A gentleman may hold the chair for his guest and
  then for other ladies near him if ladies
  outnumber men.
• Sit up straight at the table.
• Do not touch anything on the table until after
  the blessing.

23
What is a formal dinner table setting?
24
What are the American and European styles of
eating?

• American style (zigzag style)
• Hold fork in left hand, tines down.
• Put index finger on back of fork.
• Use fork to secure food to be cut.
• Hold knife in right hand.
• Cut no more than two or three bites of food.
• Put knife down.
• Move fork to right hand and eat.

25
What are the American and European styles of
eating? (contd)
26
What are the American and European styles of
eating? (contd)

• After finishing your main course
• Place knife and fork beside each other on dinner
  plate from 1000 to 400.
• Server will know that plate may be removed.

27
What are the American and European styles of
eating? (contd)
28
What are the American and European styles of
eating? (contd)

• European style
• Hold fork in left hand.
• Hold knife in right hand.
• Cut food with knife.
• Eat food with fork.
• Keep fork in left hand.
• Keep knife in right hand.
• Cut and eat only one bite of food at a time.

29
How should you use silverware?

• Dont
• Put used silverware back on the table
• Leave spoons in cups or bowls (put them on
  saucers or plates, instead)
• Lay a knife or fork half on a plate and half on
  the table
• Touch silverware you dont use

30
How should you eat finger foods and soup?

• To eat soup
• Move the spoon away from you to fill it.
• Sip from the side of the spoon.
• Dont slurp.
• Tip the bowl away from you.
• If soup is too hot, wait for it to cool.

31
How should you eat finger foods and soup? (contd)

• Foods that you can eat with your fingers
• Bread, rolls, biscuits
• Nuts
• Fresh fruit
• Olives
• Radishes, raw carrots
• Cookies, small cakes

32
How should you eat finger foods and soup? (contd)

• Place finger foods on the bread plate.
• Break (dont cut) your serving of bread into
  pieces before buttering it.
• Butter and eat the pieces one by one.

33
How should you use napkins?

• Do not
• Tuck your napkin under your belt
• Wear your napkin like a bib
• Blow your nose on your napkin
• Do use your napkin to
• Dab your lips
• Catch spills
• Cover sneezes

34
How should you use napkins? (contd)

• If you need to leave the table during dinner
• Excuse yourself.
• Leave your napkin on your chair.
• When you leave the table at the end of dinner
• Place your napkin to the right of your plate.
• Push your chair to the table.

35
What are the basics of table manners?

• Dont move or remove place cards.
• Eat politely.
• Take small bites.
• Dont chew with your mouth open.
• Dont make loud noises while you eat.
• Dont talk with food in your mouth.
• Excuse yourself if you burp.
• Dont put personal items on the table.
• Keep your hands and arms off the table.

36
What are the basics of table manners? (contd)

• Use silverware to pick up food that spills on
  the table.
• If something drops to the floor, pick it up after
  the meal.
• If you drop your silverware, ask the server to
  replace it.
• Taste your food before you season it.
• Hold a long-stemmed glass at the base of the bowl
  or on the stem.

37
What are the basics of table manners? (contd)

• Dont ask to take food home.
• Dont scold a server.
• Dont pick food out of your teeth.
• Dont leave before the host and the honored
  guests.
• Say good-bye to everyone at your table.

38
How should you make conversation during meals?

• Do not talk too quickly or too slowly.
• Keep the conversation light.
• Avoid controversial or private topics.
• Answer respectfully when addressed.
• Do not talk with food in your mouth.

39
How should you make conversation during meals?
(contd)

• Do not yell or use profane, abusive, or vulgar
  language.
• Be a good listener.
• Dont interrupt.
• Dont laugh at others.
• If you must disagree, do it respectfully.

40
How should you handle formal social invitations?

• The invitation should tell you
• What you are invited for
• Where it will be held
• When you should be there
• What you should wear

41
How should you handle formal social invitations?
(contd)

• R.S.V.P.reply to the hosts to let them know if
  you will attend
• You may decline the invitation if you have other
  plans.
• To decline, explain that you have a conflicting
  duty or social engagement.
• Use good judgment for the invitations you refuse.

42
How should you handle formal social invitations?
(contd)

• Plan your timing so you can be punctual.
• For dinners and receptions, arrive at the time on
  the invitation.
• For weddings, arrive before the time of the
  ceremony (listed on the invitation).
• At an open house, you are not expected to stay
  for the entire event.
• After a dinner party, stay at least an hour.

43
How should you dress for an event?

• Formal
• Gentlemen tuxedo or uniform equivalent suit may
  be acceptable
• Ladies evening gown

44
How should you dress for an event? (contd)

• Informal
• Gentlemen sport coat and tie
• Ladies daytime dress or nice pants suit
• Casual
• Gentlemen nice slacks and sports shirt
• Ladies sundress or nice pants and blouse

45
What responsibilities do you have to the host?

• Greet the host immediately.
• Let the host run the event.
• Make conversation.
• Join activities.
• Thank the host when you leave.

46
How should you writethank-you notes?

• Send the note within two or three days.
• Use nice writing paper.
• Use the proper format.
• Make the note at least three paragraphs.
• Dont invite yourself back.
• Use your own voice.

47
How should you writethank-you notes? (contd)

• Use correct grammar and spelling.
• Be neat.
• Dont send thank-you notes as a group.
• If youre on a planning committee for a Military
  Ball, send thank-you notes to everyone who
  helped.
• Use block style to address the envelope.

48
What public courtesies should cadets observe?

• Phone courtesies
• Dont call during meal hours.
• Let the phone ring six times.
• Identify yourself when you call someone.

49
What public courtesies should cadets observe?
(contd)

• When talking on the phone
• Be polite.
• Speak slowly and clearly.
• Dont eat, drink, or chew gum.
• Dont talk to someone in the room.
• If a call you placed gets disconnected, call
  right back.
• Say May I ask who is calling? instead of Who
  is this?
• If you dial a wrong number, apologize and hang
  up.
• Leave a clear message.

50
What public courtesies should cadets observe?
(contd)

• Do not use a cell phone when you are
• In school
• At social gatherings or appointments
• Eating meals
• Driving
• Inconveniencing or disturbing others
• In many public places

51
What public courtesies should cadets observe?
(contd)

• If an older woman or gentleman wants your
  support, offer your arm.
• Do not offer your hand unless you cannot offer
  your arm.
• Hand holding in public is not appropriate.
• Offer your hand palm up.
• Gentlemen walk on the curbside or to the left of
  a lady.

52
What public courtesies should cadets observe?
(contd)

• Opening doors for others
• Gentleman who reaches the door first holds the
  door for others.
• If a lady opens a door, a gentleman may hold the
  door for her to continue.
• In cars, open and close the door for your guest.

53
What public courtesies should cadets observe?
(contd)

• Being responsible for your guest
• Tell your guest about traditions and courtesies.
• Discuss appropriate dress.
• You are responsible for your guests behavior.
• Introduce your guest to your friends.
• Be sure that your guest is not left alone at an
  event.

54
What public courtesies should cadets observe?
(contd)

• Treat all people with the utmost respect.
• Respect military seniors, elders, parents,
  teachers, and people in authority.
• Do not use slang or poor grammar.
• Do not address seniors by their first names.

55
What public courtesies should cadets observe?
(contd)

• Chewing gum
• Chew quietly and inconspicuously in public.
• Do not chew gum
• In formal situations
• At work
• If you are hosting
• If you are around food

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What public courtesies should cadets observe?
(contd)

• Waiting in line
• Dont be noisy.
• Dont push ahead.
• Wait your turn.

57
What public courtesies should cadets observe?
(contd)

• Be polite in conversation.
• Use the following sincerely
• Please
• Thank you
• Youre welcome
• Excuse me
• Im sorry
• I beg your pardon
• Do not say, Pardon me.

58
What hygiene and grooming basics should cadets
observe?

• Be well-groomed.
• Hair should be clean and neat.
• Shower and use deodorant daily.
• Brush and floss daily.
• Young men should shave as often as necessary.
• Cadet uniforms should be clean, pressed, and
  presentable.

59
Lesson review

• Etiquette is a code of behavior or courtesy based
  on rules of a polite society.
• Manners are socially correct ways of acting as
  shown in widespread customs.
• Make introductions when you realize that two
  people dont know each other.

60
Lesson review (contd)

• A Military Balls receiving line includes the
  host and honored guests.
• All cadets go through a Military Balls receiving
  line.
• In a receiving line, people shake hands and
  exchange simple, pleasant greetings.

61
Lesson review (contd)

• Keep personal introductions simple and direct.
• Introduce juniors to seniors.
• Use a dignitarys title when making an
  introduction.
• Introductions in informal situations may be
  casual.

62
Lesson review (contd)

• You may use first names in an informal situation
  unless you are referring to an adult, a senior,
  or another important person.
• After making an introduction, help start a
  conversation or excuse yourself.

63
Lesson review (contd)

• All gentlemen shake hands when introduced.
• All Air Force JROTC cadets shake hands when
  introduced.
• Shake hands whenever someone extends a hand to
  you.

64
Lesson review (contd)

• A proper handshake is brief, but the clasp should
  feel firm and warm. Maintain eye contact.
• Gentlemen help seat ladies before eating.
• Dinner guests do not touch anything on the table
  until after the blessing.

65
Lesson review (contd)

• A formal dining table setting includes silverware
  for each course of the meal.
• The American style of eating requires you to move
  the fork from hand to hand.
• The European style of eating requires you to hold
  the knife in your right hand and your fork in
  your left hand.

66
Lesson review (contd)

• Do not place used silverware back on the table.
• Leave unused silverware on the table in its
  proper position.
• Do not slurp soup.
• Certain foods such as bread, nuts, and fresh
  fruit may be eaten with your fingers.

67
Lesson review (contd)

• Break servings of bread into pieces before
  buttering and eating them.
• Use your napkin to dab your lips, catch spills,
  and cover sneezes.
• Take small bites. Excuse yourself if you burp.

68
Lesson review (contd)

• Keep hands, arms, and personal items off the
  table.
• Say good-bye to everyone at your table.
• Keep conversation at the table polite, light,
  safe, and non-controversial.

69
Lesson review (contd)

• Respond to a formal social invitation within two
  or three days.
• If an invitation does not tell you how to dress
  for an event, ask the host or hostess.
• When you arrive at a social event, find and greet
  the host or hostess first.

70
Lesson review (contd)

• Find the host or hostess to say thank you and
  good-bye when you leave.
• Send thank-you notes within two or three days of
  attending a social event.
• Write thank-you notes on writing paper.

71
Lesson review (contd)

• Observe public courtesies in all situations.
• Shower daily and be sure that your hair is neat
  and clean.
• Brush and floss daily.
• Young men should shave as often as necessary to
  be presentable.

72
Summary

• What are etiquette and manners?
• When should you make social introductions?
• What is the protocol for a receiving line?
• How should you make personal introductions?
• How should you make introductions in informal
  situations?

73
Summary (contd)

• When and how should you shake hands?
• What are the expected manners and courtesies
  before eating?
• What is a formal dining table setting?
• What are the American and European styles of
  eating?
• How should you use silverware?

74
Summary (contd)

• How should you eat finger foods and soup?
• How should you use napkins?
• What are the basics of table manners?
• How should you make conversation during meals?
• How should you handle formal social invitations?

75
Summary (contd)

• How should you dress for an event?
• What responsibilities do you have to the host?
• How should you write thank-you notes?
• What public courtesies should cadets observe?
• What hygiene and grooming basics should cadets
  observe?

76
Next

• Done Common courtesies and etiquette
• Next Managing stress