It

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Its Got to be More than NO and More than
WAIT

• Equipping Parents to Tackle Sexual Purity at All
  Ages

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www.TruthInMarriage.org

• Corry and Jennifer Craine
• jccraine_at_bellsouth.net

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Part 2

• Teaching our Children

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10 Elements of Training

1. Pray
2. Build a Holy Vision
3. Do what you Say
4. Educate yourself
5. Start Early
6. Be deliberate and continuous
7. Establish cause and effect
8. Admit your own mistakes
9. Develop an atmosphere of acceptance and
   forgiveness
10. Monitor

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Pray

• Why is it that we only cry out to God when
  everything is falling apart?
• Why not instead start with God?
• Pray for protection of your children, wisdom,
  patience, and strength

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Pray

• Proverbs 17 - The fear of the Lord is the
  beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom
  and instruction.

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Build a Holy Vision

• If you want your children to stay Pure, you have
  to give them a vision of something worth having.
• Sex is the Gift and Covenant Seal for Marriage
• We honor sex ultimate so that we may honor God

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Build a Holy Vision

• And you shall love the Lord your God with all
  your heart, with all your soul, with all your
  mind, and with all your strength. This is the
  first commandment. - Mark 1230

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Build a Holy Vision

• For this is the love of God, that we keep His
  commandments. And His commandments are not
  burdensome. - 1 John 53

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Build a Holy Vision

• Did you know your sexuality belongs to your
  spouse, NOT YOU!
• Your children need to know that if they engage in
  pre-marital sex, they are stealing from their
  future spouse!

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Build a Holy Vision

• The wife does not have authority over her own
  body, but the husband does. And likewise the
  husband does not have authority over his own
  body, but the wife does.
• 1 Corinthians 74

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Build a Holy Vision

• If its not all about God, then by default, it
  will all be about YOU.

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Educate Yourself

• If you dont know Gods answers to the how and
  why of sex, how will you ever make a convincing
  argument against the World view with your
  children?
• Youll never know Gods Ways unless you are in
  His Word.

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Educate Yourself

• You dont have to be a bible scholar, you just
  have to do a little research.
• Gods commandments are simple and straight
  forward
• You dont have to do this on your own. Get help.
  There is plenty to be had, you just have to ask
  for it.

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Educate Yourself

• Who here can give me a functional definition of
  Sexual Purity?
• Sexual Purity is obtaining sexual gratification
  (visually, mentally, or physically) from no one
  other that ones spouse.

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Educate Yourself

• Can anyone give me a simple test to know if you
  are acting impure?
• If you wouldnt do it to your parent or sibling,
  then you shouldnt be doing it to anyone other
  than your spouse!

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Do what you Say

• Children can spot a hypocrite from a mile away.
• Much more is Caught than is ever Taught.
• What you truly believe is what you do, not what
  you say.

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Do what you Say

• When you are not around, your children will do
  what they see you do, not what you say to do.
• What are you teaching them through
• Movies - Books
• Music - Comments
• TV - Wandering eyes
• Magazines - The way you dress

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Start Early

• If you dont teach your kids about sex, the World
  definitely will.
• Make sure they get the story from you first!
• Child experts say age appropriate conversations
  should start around age 6.
• By age 9, they should have a very basic concept
  of sex and a well reinforced reverence for their
  bodies and marriage.
• By age 12, basic mechanics and an abhorrence for
  immorality.

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Be deliberate and continuous

• If you were to start a business, you would have
  Goals and Objectives, Action Plans and
  Check-and-Adjusts.
• How much more valuable is the Salvation and Joy
  of our children?
• Why would you not do the same thing when it comes
  to their education in Righteousness?

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Be deliberate and continuous

• The Talk should never exist. Instead, it spans
  over their entire life.
• Consider the challenges of their age and be
  proactive
• Use what would you do if conversations often.
• Take advantage of every opportunity that comes
  along by chance also.

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Establish Cause and Effect

• Everything we do has consequences good and bad.
• Help them see the consequences of sin in advance
  of them committing it.
• The development of cause and effect is much
  slower in boys than girls.

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Establish Cause and Effect

• If we understood the FULL consequences of our
  sins before hand, how many people do you think
  would commit them??

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Admit your OWN mistakes

• You will never gain the open trust of your
  children if you peer down at them from a platform
  of self-righteousness.
• They need to see that you are human too.
• They need to be able to know you speak from a
  voice of experience.
• They need to see the first-hand pain of your bad
  decisions.

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Admit your OWN mistakes

• If you cannot humble yourself before your
  children, you will never be able to humble
  yourself before God either!

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Develop an atmosphere of acceptance and
forgiveness

• If you dont create an environment that
  encourages the asking of difficult questions,
  they will ask someone else.
• Most likely, their peers!

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Develop an atmosphere of acceptance and
forgiveness

• If the lions share of discussions you have with
  them revolve around how God hates sin, then they
  will grow to hide their sin from you.
• They need to know what sin is, and more
  importantly then need to know what Grace and
  Forgiveness is.

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Develop an atmosphere of acceptance and
forgiveness

• for all have sinned and fall short of the glory
  of God,
• - Romans 323 (NKJV)
• Come now, and let us reason together, Says the
  LORD, Though your sins are like scarlet, They
  shall be as white as snow Though they are red
  like crimson, They shall be as wool.
• - Isaiah 118

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Monitor

• Your children have no RIGHT to privacy, only
  modesty.
• This includes their
• Phone calls - Rooms
• Text messages - Video Games
• Emails - Reading Material
• Mail - Or anything else

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Monitor

• God calls you to be a parent, so
• BE THE PARENT!
• Be the parent now so that you can be a friend
  when they are adults.
• If your focus is being a friend now, you will
  most likely loose them for the remainder of their
  lives.

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Monitor

• Unaware, uninvolved parents are doomed to raise
  troubled children.

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• Questions
• Discussion