Bobbe Sommer Ph.D.

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FABB POSITIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION

• Bobbe Sommer Ph.D.

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Lets Get Conscious!

• Conscious -

• Aware of ones own existence, sensations, and
  thoughts and of ones environment
• Capable of thought, will, or perception
• Subjectively known or felt
• Deliberately conceived or done
• Having or showing self-consciousness

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Key People SkillsConflict Management

• The Reptilian Brain is Always on the Prowl!

Defense! Defense!! Defense!!!
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Personality StylesEmotional Intelligence (E.Q.)

• List your top 3 strengths that cause people to
  want to work with you

• How did you acquire these attributes?

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Key People SkillsConflict Management

• Conflict is inevitable.
• Whenever 2 people come together, the seeds of
  conflict have been sown.
• Conflict can occur when people dont even know
  each other.

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Key People SkillsConflict Management

• Confront Face-to-Face

• Confrontation is a Goooooood Thing!

• Combat With Arms

• Combativeness is a Baaaaaad Thing!

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Key People Skills Conflict Management

• 4 Guidelines for Positive Confrontation

• Acknowledge, dont argue
• Ask clarifying questions
• Restate what you think you heard
• Deflect the Red Herring by using a
• Show Stopper response

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What is a Red Herring?

• Statement designed to intentionally throw you off
  the track AND simultaneously infer that YOU
  probably have the problem after all!

Grrr...
I was only kidding!
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Show Stopper Verbal Responses to Deflect the Red
Herring

• Excuse me?
• Where do we differ?
• That very well may be.
• Perhaps.
• Thats unfortunate.
• Great! Then Ill count on you for that!
• Would 3 oclock or 430 be a better time for us
  to discuss this?

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Show Stopper Action Responses to Deflect the Red
Herring

• Let Your Ear Hear Your Mouth Self Correct!

• Drop The Rope!

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• Eight Steps
• for
• Positive Confrontation

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Step One

• Is confrontation your
• BEST option?

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Step Two
If so, where? Choose an appropriate location.
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Step Three

• Always open with an I ownership statement.

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Step Four

• State specific observed behavior followed with
  supposition which leads me to believe

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Step Five

• Request specific behavior changes.

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Step Six

• Always deflect, never argue with the Red Herring.

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Step Seven

• Repeat step 5.

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Step Eight

• Use the bridge builder term AND, .