Love who you Are

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Love who you Are

• Chapter 3

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Effective People

• Have learned to love themselves, to have high
  self esteem.
• Self-esteem is defined as the relationship you
  have with yourself, the degree to which you
  regard yourself in a positive or negative light.
• Self-esteem has to do with how you judge or
  evaluate yourself.

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Self-concept

• Your paradigm about your self is reflected in how
  you might describe yourself
• Your ideal self is the person you feel you should
  be.
• A discrepancy exists between your ideal self and
  your real self (the person you actually are).

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Why is self-esteem important in effectiveness?

• When you have faith in yourself, it enhances your
  ability to do your best, which in turn improves
  your performance and further reinforces your good
  feelings about yourself.

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And low self-esteem..

• Is a circular, self-defeating process in which
  your negative feelings about yourself result in
  negative attitudes in general.
• These negative attitudes then become a driving
  force in your negative behaviors.
• These negative behaviors promote negative
  feelings, and the cycle continues, and so on.

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Inferiority complex

• Individuals with chronically low self-esteem,
  suffer from an inferiority complex (Alfred
  Adler).

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Take a second to read this

• When you have arrived, you dont have to shout.
• What does that mean to you?

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What is self-worth?

• How does one measure self-worth?
• By the car you drive? By the clothes you wear?
  By the people you hang out with?

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Reality is..

• Self-worth is based on nothing.
• Self-worth is a given, a birth right
• You are worthy because you are a unique
  individual
• You are worthy because you are a human being
• You must consider yourself as a good, kind and
  caring individual, despite your faults.

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Do the self-esteem assessment on page 45.
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The Pathological Critic

• That negative inner voice that attacks and judges
  you.

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The roots of self-esteem

• Dont fall far from the tree
• Your self-esteem is influenced by your parents,
  bosses, co-workers, peers, etc.
• What youve learned from them about you may
  remain for years.

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Parental Influences

• Unconditional positive regard
• I love you, no matter what.
• Conditional positive regard
• I love you, as long as you..
• Conditions of worth
• I am loved or worthy, only if I act a certain
  way.

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The malevolent attitude

• The belief that one is surrounded by enemies.
• As a result, the child may come to view the self
  as someone who is detestable, and will always be
  treated poorly and moreover, who does not deserve
  to be treated well.

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Parenting Styles

• Authoritarian
• Authoritative
• Permissive
• Permissive-indifferent
• Permissive-indulgent

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Resilient Children..

• Take an active approach to problem-solving,
  believing they can find solutions
• Find positive ways of framing experiences, even
  the bad ones,
• Are adept at getting positive attention from
  others
• Are optimists.

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Other Influences to Self-esteem

• Teachers
• Peer Influences
• Failure experiences

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How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

1. Realize your low self-esteem is, ultimately, your
   choice.
2. Choose to work towards developing a satisfying
   level of self-esteem
3. You will make mistakesthats why pencils have
   erasers.
4. Learn how to nurture yourself
5. And..

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Uncover Irrational Beliefs

• Should have, could have, would have. are all
  irrational
• Do the questionnaire on page 51

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Improving your Self-esteem

• Stop shoulding on yourself.
• Eliminate Cognitive Distortions
• Re-frame your mistakes
• I have not failed 10,000 timesI have
  successfully found 10,000 ways that will not
  work. Thomas Edison

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Key Attitudes for Maintaining Self-Esteem

• Hello view life as a two-year old
• Bravo celebrate your positives
• Expect miracles, but do your partsee page 56.
• Laugh and dance a little every day.
• Love your inner child.