Levels of Communication in our Daily Lives

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Levels of Communication in our Daily LivesSPV
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Standards and Objectives

• Standard
• ARR 2.0 - ARFL 4.00
• Students will identify effective communication in
  interpersonal relationships.
• Objectives
• Identify various types of communication styles.
• Define the levels of communication

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Levels of Communication

• Event
• 
  Superficial
• Influence
• 
  Personal
• Personal Quality
• 
  Validating
• Compliment

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Levels of Communication SPV
Superficial
Communication making up the majority of our
communication. Talking about the weather, home,
school, food, etc.
Personal
Communication involving opening up and talking
about feelings, beliefs and opinions that mean
something to you.

• Validating

Communication reinforcing peoples feelings about
themselves.
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Levels of Communication Questions

1. Can a relationship remain stable for an extended
   period of time if they communicate in a
   superficial state? Why?
2. Which levels of communication must a relationship
   strive for in order to grow? Why?
3. Which was more difficult to share in group?
   Events, Influences, Personal qualities,
   Compliments. Why?
4. What are some reactions that occurred in your
   group? Explain why these occurred.
5. Why is it more difficult to share personal
   qualities and compliments.
6. Why would you communicate superficially?

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• You can tell more about a person by what he says
  about others than you can by what others say
  about him.
• --Leo Aikman

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Video Clips

• Goonies
• Say Anything
• Singles
• Reality Bytes
• Sleepless in Seattle

• Validating
• Superficial
• Superficial into Personal ( Proximity closer)
• Superficial
• Superficial to Personal

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1. What kind of communication makes up majority of
   our conversations?
2. What kind of communication makes a relationships
   stronger?
3. What is validating Communication?

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Reasons for keeping Communication Superficial

• I may be hurt.
• I dont want to hurt their feelings.
• They will misinterpret what I say.
• They wont be receptive
• It will put our relationship at risk.
• I will be out on a limb and wont be supported.

http//www.mnadr.state.mn.us/workplace/pdf/Keepcom
m.pdf
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What Validation Is

• To validate someone's feelings is first to accept
  someone's feelings. Next, it is to understand
  them, and finally it is to nurture them.

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Basic Steps to Validation

• Acknowledging the other person's feelings
• Identifying the feelings
• Offering to listen
• Helping them label the feelings
• Being there for them remaining present
  physically and emotionally
• Feeling patient
• Feeling accepting and non-judgmental

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Example of Validating

• I hear you.That hurtsThat's not good
• Wow, that's a lot to deal withI would feel the
  same way. (I would be sad/hurt/angry/jealous,
  etc. too)
• That is sad.That sounds discouraging.That
  sounds like it would really hurt That must
  really hurt.
• I know just what you mean.I would feel the same
  way.I can understand how you feel.It sounds
  like you are really feeling ____.It sounds like
  is really important to you.

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• Painful feelings that are expressed, acknowledged
  and validated by a trusted listener will
  diminish.Painful feelings that are ignored will
  gain strength. (1)

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• No man means all he says, and yet very few say
  all they mean, for words are slippery and thought
  is viscous.
• Henry B. Adams

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Summary

• What is SPV?
• The greater the need to communicate our feelings,
  the harder it is to do. Indeed, sharing our
  opinions and emotions is risky business. We
  minimize the risk when we move through the levels
  of communication incrementally. That is, each
  conversation ought to begin with phatic
  (superficial) communication and move through the
  levels (however quickly seems appropriate) before
  moving to the more intimate levels.
• Generally, we look for the other individual to
  reciprocate at the same level of intensity. There
  is a social convention to match levels. If the
  other initiates a conversation at the evaluative
  level, we often feel compelled to respond in
  kind. This is dangerous.
• Sharing our ideas and feelings is generally
  reserved for those whom we trust. Trust is a
  function of confidence, commitment, and time. We
  generally share our essence with those weve
  known a long time.(2)