What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

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What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

• Author Raymond Carver

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Theme

• The elusive nature of love and its inability to
  be defined.

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Plot Overview

• Mel, Terri, Nick, and Laura are all friends in a
  mundane setting, talking about things they talk
  about when they talk about love.
• The discussion about love begins about
  destructive love and Terri's ex-husband, Ed,
  and quickly degenerates into alcohol-influenced
  heavy discussion as the four characters (mainly
  Mel) articulate what love really means to them.

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Plot Overview (continued)

• As they continue to talk about love and tell
  stories that portray the different types of love,
  they continue to drink gin with only propels them
  to talk more and bring out their true feelings.
• Mel gets so intoxicated with gin that he begins
  talking about killing his ex-wife whom he once
  loved. The story ends as the couples finish yet
  another bottle of gin.
• None of the characters are able to clearly define
  love, despite being resolute on what it is.

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Quotes

• Well, Nick and I know what love is -Laura
• Laura is firm in her belief that she knows what
  love is, similar to the other characters, but
  cannot truly explain what love is.
• There was a time when I thought I loved my first
  wife more than life itself. But now I hate her
  guts. How do you explain that? -Mel
• Mel is unable to truly grasp on why love changes
  or how the emotion can disappear if one feels it
  so strongly.

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More Quotes

• He did love me though, Mel. Grant me that,
  Terri said. Thats all Im asking. pg 172.
  The significance of this quote shows how love can
  be expressed through different means as Terri
  explains how Eds beatings were out of love.
• What do any of us really know about love? Mel
  said. It seems to me that were all just
  beginners at love. pg 176. This quote explains
  how there can never be one true definition that
  defines love because everyone has their own
  different perspectives and ways of showing it.

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Characterization

• Mel McGinnis
• A Cardiologist
• Self-assured that he is an expert on love.
• Asserts that destructive love is not true love
  and tries to convince Terri otherwise.
• Is the most opinionated out of the four, but is
  just as clueless about what love really is.
• Hypocritical in that he thinks Ed's love was too
  destructive but has no problems with wanting to
  kill his own first wife, despite loving her so
  much in the past.

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• Terri McGinnis
• Resolute on her opinions She truly believes that
  her ex-husband loved her, despite what Mel says
  otherwise.
• Logical than the other characters She is the
  only one that is able to articulate on what love
  means to her. Ex Ed repeatedly tries to commit
  suicide after she leaves her, still continues to
  pursue her.

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Motif

• Drinking Alcohol
• As the conversation about love progresses, all
  four characters consume more and more alcohol.
• Just as their thoughts get more cloudy, so does
  their perceptions on what love really is.
• The alcohol makes them more susceptible to
  talking about love, but their thoughts on love
  are just as incoherent as their speech is.
• Mel continually babbles about love in a confused
  manner, both because of the alcohol and his
  unclear opinion on what love really is.

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Chronology (Use of Time)

• The beginning of the story starts out with the
  day still being young and the sun is bright out.
• The discussion about love is light and friendly.
• As the day progresses, the light begins to dim as
  the sun goes down.
• The discussion about love turns heavy as they
  start to disagree on what love is. Everybody's
  perception of love is unclear and fades into
  uncertainty, just as the sun's light fades into
  darkness.

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Symbolism

• Sun- The sun in the story represents the loss of
  hope and happiness. The sun in the story is
  bright in the beginning and gone by the end. As
  the sun continues to diminish so does the
  characters hopeful perceptions about love.
• Gin- The drinking of alcohol in this story
  symbolizes the confusion encountered when
  attempting to define love. The gin is used as a
  sort of ritual as they pass the bottle of gin
  around the table. The more they drink the more
  their perceptions about love become warped.

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Imagery

• The author uses the image of a knights armor when
  expressing Mels wish to come back in a different
  life as a knight. The knights armor is described
  as being suffocating and stifling and causing the
  wearer to become tired and worn out. The image of
  a knights armor is usually seen as a sign of
  valor and strength but Carvers description of
  the armor reveals it as being a weakening burden.
  This shows how love, an expression of warm
  passionate attachment, can turn into something
  sinister.