From Selfish to Selfless

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From Selfish to Selfless
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A Narcissistic Nation

• Narcissism
• a very positive and inflated view of self
• Narcissists
• Believe they are better than others
• Lack emotionally warm and caring relationships
• Constantly seek attention Me or I
• Focus on material wealth and physical appearance

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Epidemic !?!?

• On a reality TV show, a girl planning her Sweet
  16 wants a major road blocked off so a marching
  band can precede her grand entrance on a red
  carpet. 
• 5X as many Americans undergo plastic surgery and
  cosmetic procedures as 10 years ago
• Ordinary people hire fake paparazzi to follow
  them around to make them look famous.
• High school students physically attack classmates
  and post YouTube videos of the beatings to get
  attention. 
• And for the past several years, Americans have
  been buying homes and expensive cars on credit
  they can't afford. 

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Additional Datafrom San Diego State University,
2007

• Study of 17,000 students
• Revealed the extent of narcissism in the U.S.
• Findings
• Two-thirds scored High on a measure of
  selfishness
• Narcissism increased 30 over the past twenty
  years. 

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Selfishness

• Concerned excessively or exclusively with
  oneself   seeking or concentrating on one's own
  advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard
  for others
• - merriam-webster.com

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How Does it Happen?
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Origins

• Deliberately embracing this character weakness
  because of the fleeting pleasure associated with
  it
•  Friendships with those who are very selfish
•  Excessive use of Facebook and texting
•  An obsession with pleasing one's peers
•  Failure of parents to address this character
  conflict
•  Permissive parenting
•  Modeling after a selfish Parent(s) and/or Peers
•  Excessive indulgence by parents
•  Failure of parents to teach a moral code
•  Educational experiences which support
  selfishness
•  Unwillingness to sacrifice for others
•  Compulsive comfort seeking activities
•  The rejection of a moral code or religious faith
• - Institute for Marital Healing

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Outcomes of Selfishness

• Lack of respect
• Lack of love of others
• Aggression
• Hatred
• Revenge
• Impairment to service

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Biblical Examples OF SELFISHNESS
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1 Samuel 222-25

• (22) Now Eli was very old, and he kept hearing
  all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and
  how they lay with the women who were serving at
  the entrance to the tent of meeting. (23) And
  he said to them, "Why do you do such things? For
  I hear of your evil dealings from all the people.
  (24) No, my sons it is no good report that I
  hear the people of the LORD spreading abroad.
  (25) If someone sins against a man, God will
  mediate for him, but if someone sins against the
  LORD, who can intercede for him?" But they would
  not listen to the voice of their father, for it
  was the will of the LORD to put them to death.

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Haggai 13-9

• (3) Then the word of the LORD came by the hand of
  Haggai the prophet, (4) "Is it a time for you
  yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, while
  this house lies in ruins? (5) Now, therefore,
  thus says the LORD of hosts Consider your ways.
  (6) You have sown much, and harvested little.
  You eat, but you never have enough you drink,
  but you never have your fill. You clothe
  yourselves, but no one is warm. And he who earns
  wages does so to put them into a bag with holes.
  (7) "Thus says the LORD of hosts Consider your
  ways. (8) Go up to the hills and bring wood and
  build the house, that I may take pleasure in it
  and that I may be glorified, says the LORD. (9)
  You looked for much, and behold, it came to
  little. And when you brought it home, I blew it
  away. Why? declares the LORD of hosts. Because of
  my house that lies in ruins, while each of you
  busies himself with his own house.

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Matthew 1916-22

• And behold, a man came up to him, saying,
  "Teacher, what good deed must I do to have
  eternal life?" (17) And he said to him, "Why do
  you ask me about what is good? There is only one
  who is good. If you would enter life, keep the
  commandments." (18) He said to him, "Which
  ones?" And Jesus said, "You shall not murder, You
  shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal,
  You shall not bear false witness, (19) Honor
  your father and mother, and, You shall love your
  neighbor as yourself." (20) The young man said
  to him, "All these I have kept. What do I still
  lack?" (21) Jesus said to him, "If you would be
  perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to
  the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven
  and come, follow me." (22) When the young man
  heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had
  great possessions.

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Passages Regarding SELFISHNESS
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James 314-16

• (13) Who is wise and understanding among you? By
  his good conduct let him show his works in the
  meekness of wisdom. (14) But if you have bitter
  jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do
  not boast and be false to the truth. (15) This
  is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but
  is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. (16) For
  where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there
  will be disorder and every vile practice. (17)
  But the wisdom from above is first pure, then
  peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy
  and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

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Philippians 23

• Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in
  humility count others more significant than
  yourselves.

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Galatians 517-21

• For the desires of the flesh are against the
  Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against
  the flesh, for these are opposed to each other,
  to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
  (18) But if you are led by the Spirit, you are
  not under the law. (19) Now the works of the
  flesh are evident sexual immorality, impurity,
  sensuality, (20) idolatry, sorcery, enmity,
  strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries,
  dissensions, divisions, (21) envy, drunkenness,
  orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I
  warned you before, that those who do such things
  will not inherit the kingdom of God.

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Getting to SELFLESSNESS-WhaT Can We Do
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Galatians 522-26

• But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
  patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (23)
  gentleness, self-control against such things
  there is no law. (24) And those who belong to
  Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its
  passions and desires. (25) If we live by the
  Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. (26)
  Let us not become conceited, provoking one
  another, envying one another.

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For Parents of Young Children

• Proverbs 226
• Train up a child in the way he should go even
  when he is old he will not depart from it.
• Start Early!
• Address selfish behavior immediately
• Promote and model essential virtues
•  respect, obedience, generosity self-denial
• The Fruits of the Spirit (Gal 522-26)