Sentence Expanding

1
Sentence Expanding

• Objective As they begin Unit 2 (Reading
  Informational Text/Writing Argument) swbat
  evaluate the basis of sentence writing strategies
  and rhetorical devices, ultimately utilizing
  select concepts to help strengthen their own
  writing. Swbat to score a 5 or 6 on an
  argumentative writing based on the NJ Holistic
  scoring rubric.

Do-Now On the Haves and the Have Nots/On
Classism
2
Sentence Expanding is a process for changing your
sentences into like those of professional
writers. It transforms reduced sentences into
fully developed sentences.

• Reduced Sentence
• There stood two squat old-fashioned decanters of
  cut glass.

3

• Reduced Sentence
• There stood two squat old-fashioned decanters of
  cut glass.
• In the center of the table there stood, as
  sentries to a fruit-stand which upheld a pyramid
  of oranges and American apples, two squat
  old-fashioned decanters of cut glass, one
  containing port and the other dark sherry.
• James Joyce, The Dead

4
We could rewrite Joyces sentence

• Two squat old-fashioned decanters stood there.
  They were in the center of the table. They were
  like sentries to a fruit-stand near them. The
  fruit-stand upheld a pyramid of oranges and
  American apples. One of the decanters contained
  port. The other one contained sherry.

What are your thoughts on this rewrite?
5

• The rewrite is uneconomical, using six sentences
  to express what Joyce did in just one sentence
  it uses 44 words to Joyces 37. Its poorly
  organized, failing to show as clearly as Joyces
  the interrelationships among the various objects
  described. Its uninteresting, beginning each of
  the sentences in the same monotonous way.

6
Can an expanded sentence, like a balloon filled
to over capacity, burst?

• As long as a sentence is clear in meaning, its
  no over-expanded, regardless of how many words
  are in the sentence, regardless of how many
  different structures are present, regardless of
  how many ideas are packed into it.

7
Among American writers, William Faulkner is
famous for the ultralong sentences that
characterize his style.

• The French writer Victor Hugo is often cited as
  having written one of the longest sentences ever,
  one that has hundreds of words, in Les
  Miserables.
• The Irish wrier James Joyce went even further
  ending his novel Ulysses with a sentence that
  runs over twenty pages!

8
Even among professional writers, however, such
ultralong sentences are rare. Still, on the
average, sentences by professional writers are
longer than those by students.
9
To practice adding expansions, substitute new
ones for those in boldface.

• Original Expansions
• In the center of the table there stood, as
  sentries to a fruit-stand which upheld a pyramid
  of oranges and American apples, two squat
  old-fashioned decanters of cut glass, one
  containing port and the other dark sherry.
• New Expansions
• On a shelf in the china closet there stood, like
  fragile sculptures which boasted an old age and
  genteel birth, two squat old-fashioned decanters
  of cut glass, one opened, the other unopened.

10

• Now, in the morning air, her face was still
  before him.
• Edith Wharton, Ethan Frome
• Al was out already, unscrewing the steaming
  radiator cap with the tips of his fingers,
  jerking his hand away to escape the spurt when
  the cap should come loose.
• John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
• With them, carrying a gnarled walking stick, was
  Elmo Goodhue Pipgrass, the littlest, oldest man I
  had ever seen.
• Max Shulman, The Unlucky Winner

11
Guided Practice Expand the sentence at the slash
marks.

• She sprang dynamically to her feet, /(3), then
  swiftly and noiselessly crossed over to her bed,
  /(3), dragged out her suitcase.
• F. Scott Fitzgerald, Bernice Bobs Her Hair

12
Original Sentence

• She sprang dynamically to her feet, clinching her
  hands, then swiftly and noiselessly crossed over
  to her bed and, from underneath it, dragged out
  her suitcase.
• F. Scott Fitzgerald, Bernice Bobs Her Hair

13
Guided Practice Expand the sentence at the slash
marks.

• He stood there, /(4), and Rainsford, /(6), heard
  the generals mocking laugh ring through the
  jungle.
• Richard Connell, The Most Dangerous Game

14
Original Sentence

• He stood there, rubbing his injured shoulder, and
  Rainsford, with fear again gripping his heart,
  heard the generals mocking laugh ring through
  the jungle.
• Richard Connell, The Most Dangerous Game

15
(No Transcript)