Title: The Crucible Evaluation and Good Night, and Good Luck assignment
1The Crucible EvaluationandGood Night, and Good
Luckassignment
- Writing comments, improvements
- and suggestions
2Read and follow instructions!
- Some students did not write in complete sentences
as required - Some students responded to only part of a prompt
(especially 8b, 8c, and 9 on Crucible test and 3
on Good Night, and Good Luck assignment) - Some wrote about literature in the past tense or
used first or second person inappropriately
3Disappointments
- Students did not title their essays
- Many students did not have a thesis statement for
their essays. - Some students had very weak thesis statements.
4General Writing Requirements for Millers English
IIIA
- this is an advanced English class work should be
presented using correct grammar and solid writing
skills - essays and paragraphs should be titled
- write in third person (never use second unless in
quotation first is allowable only when noted) - a paragraph needs a topic sentence an essay
needs a thesis statement
5General Writing Requirements for Millers English
IIIA continued
- discuss literature in the present tense
- when responding to a prompt regarding literature
with a paragraph or essay, always introduce the
author (full name) and titlelater the author may
be referred to by his last name - titles of major works (like The Crucible) are
italicized or underlined (in-class writing)
minor works are placed in quotations - avoid absolutesalways, never, etcetera
6General Writing Requirements for Millers English
IIIA continued
- do not write I believe, I think, I feel,
etceteraif a writer is sharing someone elses
ideas, parenthetical citation will give credit
otherwise all statements are considered the
authors - dictionary and thesaurus were offeredspell
correctlyif time is limited and spelling is
questionable, write sp above the word to clarify
that the word would have been looked up if time
permitted
7General Writing Requirements for Millers English
IIIA
- what is written in English class (with very few
exceptions) is formalavoid contractions,
symbols, and abbreviations - write legiblyits wrong if Ms. Miller cant make
it out - avoid careless errorsthe title of the play
should be spelled correctlyits on the test
ditto for characters names do not call a play a
novel, etcetera
8Easy Grammatical Fixes
- NEVER place a single comma between a subject and
its verb - NEVER place a colon immediately after a be verb
- Many rules of English grammar have exceptions
these do notmemorize them
9Question 7
- Is The Crucible chiefly concerned with religion,
morality, history, or justice? Select one and
defend the selection with two-to-four sentences
of logical support.
10Question 7 - Student Response
- This student receive 5/5 for the response.
- The main concern of The Crucible is morality and
the irony of what some people believe to be good
morals. This is illustrated in the fact that
people with the best morals are the ones that die
for it because they refuse to lie after being
accused. Also, the people who mistakenly have bad
morals, such as the court, are the ones who
condemn those with good morals.
11Question 7 Student Response
- What is good?
- Follows instructions
- Provides thoughtful and logical commentary
- What could be improved?
- pronoun issues that should be who and it
refers to a singular antecedent - fewer be verbs more action verbs
12The Paragraphs
- The instructions select one of the following and
discuss in a well-developed (approximately
seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA formatted, third
person, present tense paragraph.
13The Paragraphs
- A prompt
- Identify and discuss a major irony in the play.
14Student Example
- In Arthur Millers the Crucible, there are
several examples of irony throughout the novel.
Back in the late seventeenth century, people were
very superstitious and the littlest thing out of
the ordinary would raise confusion. Salem goes
into ruins because no one is there to take care
of anything. While trying to save Salem from
witches, they ultimately lead to the ruin of
their village. (continued next slide)
15Student Example continued
- With liveston running amuck, rotting crops lay
in the fields, and children left uncared for,
Salem was left in a shadow of its former self.
What they did to Salem was worse than what they
were trying to protect it from. - What is good about this response?
- What about this response needs improvement?
16Student Example Positives
- Some knowledge of history and play is
demonstrated - Introduces title and authors full name
- Discusses an irony (although it is never labeled
as such)
17Student Example Negatives
- Discusses literature in the past tense
- Some questionable word choice
- Comma splice
- Run-on sentence
- there statement
- Ends paragraph with a preposition
- Calls play a novel
- Salem exists today, so the witch trials did not
cause its ruin - Lack of clarity (liveston)?
18Student Example
- One major irony in The Crucible reflects on
Puritan values. A citizen may be openly accused
of witchcraft with little or no proof. The
courts have been created in such a way that
somebody accused of witchcraft is nearly
automatically sentenced to death. Escaping this
fate is only possible by confessing to the crime,
whether or not the perpetrator is guilty. - (continued on next slide)
19Student Example continued
- This means, for an innocent person, they must
confess to being a witch/warlock to live. One
would think the Puritans would wish to persecute
confessed dealers with Satan, not free them!
This ironic, religious value defines a crisis in
The Crucible. - What is good here?
- What here needs improvement?
20Student Examples Positive
- responds to prompt (discusses an irony)
- follows instructions (7-12 sentences, present
tense, third person) - seems knowledgeable about play and time period
(Puritan community) - understands irony
- clear and confident voice
21Student Example Negatives
- no introduction of author
- pronoun/antecedent agreement error
- uses one to avoid first/second person
- comma issues
- occasional awkward wording
- Underlining?
22The Paragraphs
- Same instructions select one of the following
and discuss in a well-developed (approximately
seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA formatted, third
person, present tense paragraph.
23The Second Prompt
- Consider the deleted scene, Act 2, Scene 2.
Discuss how the scene might have changed the play
and why Miller might have decided to remove it.
24Student Example
- In Aurthor Millers The Crucible, the deleted
scene, Act 2, Scene 2, is open to interpretation.
One reason it may have been taken out is the
difference in the characters emotions. John
Proctor is seen as almost a bad guy because his
relationship with Abby is more developed here and
it shows that - (continued on next slide)
25Student Example Continued
- John still is leading her on a little and
showing the relationship still exists. In the
rest of the play, Proctor looks like he totally
regrets the relationship and treats Abby
hatefully, contrasting to this scene.
Continually, Miller may have decided that he
didnt want the reader to feel sympithetic to
Abby because of (continued on next slide)
26Student Example Continued
- Proctors treatment of her. Miller may have
wanted Abby to look justified in her constant
struggle to win Proctor over. Finally, it is
possible that Miller simply didnt like the flow
of the play with Act 2, Scene 2, included a
decided to take it out. Millers reasoning to
vague unknown, but the play runs just smoothly
without the scene as with.
27Consideration
- What is good here?
- What here needs improvement?
28Student Example Positives
- Introduces play and author (although spelled
incorrectly) - Uses present tense
- Utilizes third person
- Title set off appropriately
29Student Example Negatives
- Awkward word choice at times
- spelling
- Misreading of play suggested (Proctor does not
treat Abby hatefully in Act 1) - Support needed (example how might the deleted
scene make Abby look justified or the audience
gain sympathy - Proof readingtoo many errors/concerns, even for
an in-class write - Sentence structure
30Student Example
- In the play The Crucible, Arthoir spelling
unclear on student copy Miller origianally had a
scene in Act 2 in which Proctor confronts Abigail
on everything she is doing, but Miller later
excluded that scene from the play. If Miller had
kept the scene in the play, the viewers would see
a different side of Abigail and may have a
different perspective on her than without the
scene. (continued on next slide)
31Student Example Continued
- In the scene, it becomes more and more obvious
that there is something wrong with Abigail. She
goes off on rants about people in Salem and how
they are all hypocrites, and she still believes
that John Proctor wants his wife dead so he can
be with Abigail, even though he tries to tell her
forcefully that he loves his wife and doesnt
want Abigail. It becomes clear that Abigail has - (continued on next slide)
32Student Example Continued
- Something wrong with her through the stage notes
when it says Proctor begins to see her madness.
This scene softens Abigails character because it
shows shes crazy, and viewers may feel sympathy
toward her. The sympathy for her is not wanted
because she is the main antagonist in the play.
Miller might not want that feeling toward her
because it would soften the whole take of the
play.
33Student Example
- What here is good?
- What here needs improvement?
34Student Example Positives
- Introduces title and author (possible spelling
error) - Seems thoughtful
- Minimal grammatical errors
- Knowledge of play and characters demonstrated
- Responds to prompt
- Shows knowledge of literary devices
35Student Example Negatives
- Spelling
- Word choice (more variety needed)
- Sentence structure occasionally awkward
- there statement
- Seems redundant at times
- Fails to set off title appropriately
36Student ExampleEssay
- This student example has a number of problems
however, it received a score in the A range.
In-class essays are graded as drafts, and for
this write, ideas and content and organization
weighed more heavily.
37The Instructions
- Respond with a well-developed essay (multiple
paragraphs) presented in MLA format using third
person. Literature should be discussed in the
present tense however, history is discussed in
the past tense therefore, this paper may shift
between past and present. Ideas and content and
organization will be weighed most heavily in the
evaluation of this essay, but the other traits
are also important. Students may utilize one page
of notes (student-created not Internet generated)
and must turn their notes in with their completed
essays.
38The Prompt
- The Salem Witch Trials and McCarthyism are
historical episodes associated with fear-based
behaviors. Identify a current or recent (1980 or
later) situation connected with fear-based
behavior. Compare and contrast the contemporary
situation to the Salem Witch Trials and/or
McCarthyism and explore how witch hunts may be
avoided. Consider how individuals might assure
they do not fall victim to or lead fear-based
behaviors and mob mentality.
39Essay
- Fear-based behavior is infectious, crawling
from one mind to the next until a full-blown
epidemic sweeps away all rational thought. This
panic leads to a mob mentality that not only
dictated the actions of long ago, but even more
recent events, such as the recent economical
troubles. - Initially, the Salem witch trials sound like
they have nothing in common with the near failure
of many of Americas banks. While the situation
in Salem had been life-or-death (continued on
next slide)
40The Essay continued
- based on mere hear-say, the banks themselves had
dug themselves into their hole with a severe lack
of foresights when it came to lending loans. When
the layers are peeled back, though, both
reactions, to each situation are not as
dissimilar as believed. The little village of
Salem was desparate for a solution when they
discovered witches were responsible for their
troubles. In their frenzy, they executed and
accused left-and right to eradicate their
problem. Flash (continued on next slide)
41The Essay continued
- forward to the end of 2008. Americas banks were
suddenly drowning in unpaid foreclosures, and
threatened to drag Americas economy down with
it. Politicians had little time to react and even
less time to assess the situation. The people
were convinced that the economical equivalent of
an apocalypse was bearing down, and no one took
the time to think otherwise. So, they haphazardly
slapped together a solution (TARPthe Troubled
(continued on next slide)
42The Essay continued
- Assist Relief Program), much like Salem and its
witch trials, and sent it out the door. In both
situations, it backfired terribly. Salem ended up
killing innocent Christians while TARP money
intended in revitalizing the economy did not have
much of a noticeable impact on the economy.
Indeed, while prohibited from being used as
excessive bonus money, it instead went to stocks
that men used in place of bonuses. - This mob mentality is dangerous, but (continued
on next slide) -
-
43The Essay continued
- can it be avoided? If people took time to sit
back and assess the situation, then most problems
could be avoided. Before forming an opinion, both
sides of the argument should be taken it to avoid
jumping to potentially fatal conclusions. People
shouldnt be swayed by others opinions in the
heart of the moment, and when telling others
about the situation, it should be presented as
more of a suggestion and not hard facts. These
tips can keep minor blow outs from escalading
into madness.
44Student Essay
- What is good about the response?
- Responds to entire prompt (historical and
contemporary examples with suggestions for
avoiding future incidents) - Some excellent word choice
- Thoughtful
- Demonstrates knowledge of historic event and
contemporary situation - Follows instructions multiple paragraphs, third
person - Basically well organized
45Student Essay
- What might be improved?
- Title
- Spelling
- Some word choice
- Better developed introduction or inclusion of
introduction in first body paragraph - No contractions
- Correct numerous minor errors and proof
- Correctly identify TARP
- Conclusion which ties in early part of essay
46Possessives v. Plurals
- A possessive shows ownership while a plural shows
number (multiple). - Student example The filmmakers of Good Night
and Good Luck try to shed some light on the
rarely talked about Red Scare of the 50s. - What is wrong? Correction?
47Possessive v. Plurals
- Student example The filmmakers purpose is to
show that fear can lead to injustice or
irrational thinking. - Error? Correction?
48Misplacement
- Student example Old broadcasting technology
sends the movie back in time, along with the
costumes. - Problem? Solution?
49Three be verbs in one sentence!
- Student example This scene is specifically
memorable because it is when he is denied the
opportunity for a few shows pertaining to
Mcarthy. - Improvement? Other error?
50Pronoun/Antecedent Agreement
- Student example If a communist was found, they
would be demonized by the government and public. - Error? Correction?
51Pronoun/Antecedent Agreement
- Student example The filmmaker achieved their
purpose to inform and educate as well as
entertain its audience. - Error? Correction? Other?
52Run-on Sentences
- Student example Overall, fear based behavior
will always be around, it will just keep evolving
and becoming less dramatic. - Error? Correction? Other?
53Thesis Statements
- Many essays did not even have thesis statements.
Those that contained thesis statements often
presented weak ones. - Sample thesis Thoughtful consideration and trust
in self allows avoidance of fear-based behaviors
seen during the Salem Witch Trials and in
President Obamas first address to school
children in 2009.