Being Single, Hanging Out,

1
Chapter 4

• Being Single, Hanging Out,
• Hooking Up, and Living Together

2
Chapter Outline

• Singlehood
• Undergraduate Interest in Finding a Partner
• Ways of Finding a Partner
• Functions of Involvement with a Partner
• Dating after Divorce
• Cultural and Historical Background of Dating
• Cohabitation

3
True or False?

• Never-married single women report higher life
  satisfaction than never-married single men.

4
Answer True

• Never-married single women report higher life
  satisfaction than never-married single men.

5
True or False?

• Persons who live together and then marry are less
  likely to get divorced than those who dont live
  together before marriage.

6
Answer False

• Researchers refer to the cohabitation effect as
  the tendency for couples who cohabit to end up in
  less happy and shorter-lived marriages (more
  likely to divorce). Cohabitants are more likely
  not only to divorce but to report more
  disagreements, more violence, lower levels of
  happiness, and lower levels of ability to
  negotiate conflict

7
True or False?

• Friendship, not romance or sex, is the goal of
  university students who go on the Internet
  looking for someone.

8
Answer True

• Friendship, not romance or sex, is the goal of
  university students who go on the Internet
  looking for someone.

9
The Acceptance of Singlehood

• Though more than 95 of U.S. adults eventually
  marry, more people are delaying marriage and
  enjoying singlehood.
• Acceptance of singlehood as a lifestyle can be
  attributed to social movements
• Sexual Revolution
• Womens Movement
• Gay Liberation movement

10
Youthhood

• The time between adolescence and adulthood.
• Characterized by lower percentages of youth
  finishing school, leaving home, getting married,
  having a child, and reaching financial
  independence by age 30 than in previous years.

11
Categories of Singles

• Never Married Singles
• Divorced Singles
• Widowed Singles

12
Never Married Singles

• This woman chose to never marry.
• She noted, Ive had a wonderful life with many
  lovers. Im sure Ive had more loves and
  adventures than if I had married.

• Pg. 102

13
Reasons to Remain Single

• Benefits of Singlehood
• Freedom to do as one wishes
• Variety of lovers
• Spontaneous lifestyle
• Close friends of both sexes
• Responsible for one person

• Limitations of Marriage
• Restricted by spouse or children
• One sexual partner
• Routine, predictable lifestyle
• Pressure to avoid other-sex friendships
• Responsible for family

14
Reasons to Remain Single

• Benefits of Singlehood
• Spend money as one wishes
• Freedom to move for career
• Avoid being controlled by spouse
• Avoid stress of divorce

• Limitations of Marriage
• Spending influenced by needs of spouse/children
• Restricted career mobility
• Potential to be controlled by spouse
• Possibility of divorce

15
Intentional Community (Commune)

• Example Twin Oaks
• Founded in 1967, one of the oldest nonreligious
  intentional communities in the United States.
• Membership is 55 male and 45 female.
• Members include gay, straight, bisexual, and
  transgender people.
• Most are single never-married adults, but there
  are married couples and families.

16
Hooking Up

• A one-time sexual encounter in which there is
  little or no expectation of a relationship.
• The nature of the encounter may be making out,
  oral sex, and/or sexual intercourse.

17
Meeting a New Partner

• Personal Ads
• Some magazines feature ads marketed to a
  particular group of singles.
• The InternetMeeting Online
• There are over two hundred Web sites designed for
  meeting a new partner.

18
Meeting a New Partner

• Video Chatting
• Video chatting allows the partners to see each
  other while chatting online.
• Speed Dating The Eight-Minute Date
• A person has eight one-on-one dates that last 8
  minutes each.
• International Dating
• Looking for love in other countries, via
  matchmaking services, or the internet.

19
Internet Dating

• The internet is a quick way to meet a variety of
  new peoplebut be cautious.

• Pg. 110

20
Speed Dating

• Speed dating allows individuals to interview a
  series of new people in a single evening.

• Pg. 112

21
Functions of Involvement with a Partner

1. Confirmation of a social self
2. Recreation
3. Companionship/intimacy/sex
4. Anticipatory socialization
5. Status achievement
6. Mate selection

22
Long-Distance Dating

• Issues in making a long-distance dating
  relationship manageable and keeping the
  relationship together
• Maintain daily contact.
• Enjoy/use the time apart.
• Avoid conflictual phone conversations.
• Stay monogamous.

23
Differences after Divorce

• Older population
• Fewer potential partners
• Increased HIV risk
• Children
• Ex-spouse issues
• Brief courtship

24
Question

• Functions of being involved with a partner
  include intimacy and
• status achievement
• mate selection
• companionship
• All of the above.

25
Answer D

• Functions of being involved with a partner
  include intimacy, status achievement, mate
  selection, and companionship.

26
Cultural and Historical Background of Dating

• Traditional Chinese
• Blind marriages, wherein the bride and groom were
  prevented from seeing each other for the first
  time until their wedding, were the norm.
• The Puritan Era in the United States
• Bundling, involving the suitor sleeping in the
  girls bed in her parents home, with rules about
  sexual contact, was common.

27
Cultural and Historical Background of Dating

• The Industrial Revolution
• Commercial industries had developed, and women
  transferred their activities in these areas from
  the home to the factory.
• Women had more frequent contact with men.

28
Question

• In traditional Chinese culture, romantic feelings
  were viewed as
• very important.
• unnecessary.
• scandalous.
• vital to marital happiness.

29
Answer B

• In traditional Chinese culture, romantic feelings
  were viewed as unnecessary.

30
Cohabitation

• Also known as living together.
• Becoming a normative life experience, almost
  60 of U.S. women who married in the 1990s
  reported that they had cohabited before marriage.

31
Insert Video

• 7. Living Together VS. Marriage (Run Time 401)

32
Types of Cohabitation Relationships

1. Here and Now - The partners are focused on the
   here and now, not the future of the relationship.
2. Testers - The couple wants to assess whether they
   have a future together.
3. Engaged - These couples are in love and are
   planning to marry.

33
Types of Cohabitation Relationships

1. Money Savers - The couples live together out of
   economic convenience.
2. Pension Partners - Getting married would mean
   giving up their pension benefits from the
   previous marriage.
3. Security blanket cohabiters - Drawn to each other
   out of a need for security rather than mutual
   attraction.

34
Types of Cohabitation Relationships

1. Rebellious cohabiters - The cohabitation is more
   about rebelling from parents than being drawn to
   each other.
2. Marriage never - Living together provides
   companionship and sex without the
   responsibilities of marriage.

35
Cohabitation

• Pg. 120

• This couple moved in together after knowing each
  other for only a short time.

36
Cohabitation

• Advantages
• Sense of well-being
• Delayed marriage
• Learning about self and partner

• Disadvantages
• Feeling used or tricked
• Problems with parents
• Economic disadvantages
• Effects on children

37
Question

• Partners who are emotionally and sexually
  involved and want to see whether cohabitation and
  marriage are the right decision are referred to
  as
• here and now
• testers
• rebellious cohabitators
• Commitment phobic

38
Answer B

• Partners who are emotionally and sexually
  involved and want to see whether cohabitation and
  marriage are the right decision are referred to
  as testers.

39
Legal Aspects of Living Together

• Some of the legal issues concerning cohabiting
  partners include
• common-law marriage
• palimony
• child support
• child inheritance

40
Legal Aspects of Living Together

• In North Carolina, cohabitation is a misdemeanor
  punishable by a fine not to exceed 500,
  imprisonment for not more than six months, or
  both.
• Common-Law Marriage dates to a time when couples
  who wanted to be married did not have easy or
  convenient access to legal authorities.