Childless older women: Combating a deficit identity?

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Childless older womenCombating a deficit
identity?

• Dr Jill Reynolds, The Open University
• Symposium Governmentalism through the
  production of deficit identities
• International Society of Critical Health
  Psychology conference , Adelaide April 2011

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What is a deficit identity?

• An identity defined in terms of lack what a
  person is not in the case of childlessness
• Not a mother
• Not a parent
• Not a grandparent
• Without a family
• Not a real woman

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Not a real woman

• Old women who never married or had children are
  depicted as deviant in cultural narratives of
  womanhood because they violate the norms of
  womens traditional family life course, and they
  are thus invisible in the female life cycle
  (Allen and Pickett 1987).
• Allen, K.R. and Walker, A.J. 2006, in Calasanti,
  T.M. and Slevin , K.F. (eds) Age Matters
  Re-aligning Feminist Thinking

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Lost generation of abandoned pensioners The
Telegraph, 2010

• Millions of divorcees could
• find themselves alone, with
• some effectively abandoned
• by adult children who live
• miles away. The "breakdown of the family also
  means youngsters no longer feel duty bound to
  support their parents if they do not get on.
• Current generations are "unwilling to provide
  care such as washing. dressing, cooking and
  shopping if they live far away, or simply do not
  get on with their parents.

• Since the introduction of
• means testing in the early
• Nineties, the number of
• elderly people receiving
• residential care has halved.
• Around 2.5 million people
• have a care need defined as requiring help
  to carry out basic tasks such as dressing, eating
  or washing - of whom 1.2 million receive support
  from council social services.

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Constructions of people alone without family

• 51
• I A lot of family. You started to talk a little
  about the different things you do. What do you
  think of when you hear the words quality of life?
•  
• R I suppose Im quite lucky, I mean going out on
  a Monday and my family around me more or less.
  I hear other people talking and they are very
  lonely. So I think Im lucky.

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Constructions of people alone without family

• 28
• Interviewer Do your son and daughter live
  nearby?
• Subject They live in Guildford one
  lives in Sheephook Road and the other
  lives in York Road.
• Interviewer You are very lucky aren't you?
• Subject Well I am, yes. I am able to go
  and visit them and make a fuss of them and leave
  them and let the parents get on with it.

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Constructions of people alone without family

• 82
• Interviewer But your grandchildren and your sons
  and daughters how often do you meet as a family?
• Subject 2 Christmas everyone would normally get
  together
• Subject 1 They will all be here at Christmas
  anyway
• Interviewer Yes and birthdays or?
• Subject 2 birthdays
• Subject 1 Celebrate in general you know
• Interviewer You are very lucky having all your
  family round
• Subject 1 Yes...

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Do you have any children?

• well I, I dont like being asked if Ive got
  children mm cos, I just, it, I remember T
  asking me once, it was a stupid, it was just one
  of those daft little things, it was kind of (.)
  ove over Christmas lunch once, and it was kind of
  jolly conversation mm you know, and then
  suddenly he sort of turned to me and said Have
  you got children? and I said No, I havent
  mm and he said Oh (laughs) thats you done,
  thats you finished. I didnt know what to say,
  and I didnt know what to say yes, yes and it
  was kind of, it, it just sort of changed the
  mood, and we had to go on to something else cos
  yes I didnt feel like, he didnt know what to,
  if he should ask anything next, and I didnt feel
  like, explaining, being def, having to defend
  yes my position

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Any children?

• Out of the 12 women now over 60 only three talked
  of a definite decision made earlier not to have
  children.
• Several said it just didnt happen
• Some did not have confidence in their marital
  relationship at a time when they might have
  thought of children
• One was sterilised because her husband didnt
  want children
• One told when 23 that the chances of having
  children were very remote

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The book is my baby 1

• P In fact I remember when I got my first book
  published, I took it home, as one does, you know,
  a copy home and said There you are mother, you
  know, look what Ive, and we were sort of in the
  family front room, and she picked it up, looked
  at the cover, and said Thats nice dear, and
  put it on the table, that was it, this is my big
  moment you know, this is like Ive born this
  child, which is the equivalent in the family
  terms, thats very nice dear, I was devastated,
  I went straight round to my aunt, who I was very
  close to, and said How could she do that to me?

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The book is my baby 2

• C And I got a text book out of it which is
  still going so that is like something I can hold
  in my hand and think well that came out of it a
  hah- and when I went away travelling two or three
  years ago to see a friend who was doing VSO in
  overseas and we went away for a weekend it was
  just with a group of the people and she said Id
  like you to meet these other volunteers and one
  of them two of them were health care workers in
  my speciality and I said Oh Id be really
  interested to talk to them so we were introduced
  and one of them said Claire whats your
  surname and this sounds really big-headed but
  she said I thought it was so funny Youre not
  the Claire X and she was from Australia and she
  said it was a standard textbook on our course Oh
  terrific! yes so I felt really pleased yeah that
  was really good to hear that.

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The book is my baby 3

• C So that was like my baby really. yes Yes
  wont have as long a life as a child who er grows
  up but I think the average they say books last
  about ten years yeah well thats Ive done a
  second edition since I was here but um dunno
  well see.

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The book is my baby 4

• J Well in view of your saying that this
  questions my last one hh hh hh you might like
  to know you may see some links. Im just
  interested in any sense you have of legacy as in
  what it might be and who might be important in
  terms of a legacy? I dont mean financial gifts
  particularly.

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The book is my baby 5

• L Just in what youve done in your life? yes
  Something that would remain? Um I think the thing
  that Im most pleased I did I wrote a book um and
  it was all about it was about text deleted
  visually impaired people mm and it was all
  based around oral history um with 61 people mm
  um from people in their it was published in 2006
  it was people in their 80s right through to
  schoolchildren now and they were all each one was
  written up as a self-contained story um and there
  was a certain amount of documentary history as
  well surrounding the stories but it was basically
  an oral history. And I feel pleased that I did
  that because I feel that perhaps nobody else
  would have done it mm

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The book is my baby 6

• L ... Ive written a lot of books Ive written
  23 books wow um and its funny with books isnt
  it because you dont know whether theyre having
  an effect on anybody you dont know what theyre
  doing but when Ive met people theyve sometimes
  said to me Oh I was really mm you know really
  taken with your book or that chapter or whatever
  so you just hope that perhaps some of it will
  have contributed to disability studies yeah
  helped in some way

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Identity work 1

• J Yes huh huh huh huh huh so thats quite a few
  things that mm that kind of make life good mm
  and make lead you to think .. better than than
  ever
• L I think I think I sort of feel a bit (.) er
  although Ive got lots to do and Im busy and
  everything I do some Im not quite sure the
  direction I want my life to go in I um I kind of
  feel almost that I need to have some substantial
  project but then I think oh perhaps its just a
  habit of having projects huh huh you know hm hm
  perhaps I dont need one at all hah hah yeah um
  and I sort of think I look at other people and I
  think do I really want to be one of these people
  that just sort of go on cruises or just spend
  their days having coffee with people an. Im not
  Im not quite sure what I want actually but Im
  not I think itll just evolve Im not too worried
  about it mm

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Identity work 2

• J And er do you have a sense of feeling part of
  a generation?
• L Um I feel part of a generation of people that
  I I suppose again its uh mainly its to do with
  uh when Im with people going out on these walks
  for instance I find that an awful lot of people
  have got a life thats nothing nothing like mine
  at all. Theyre talking about their grandchildren
  and uh mm theyre very sort of family
  orientated. I think I do feel a slight oddity. Um
  partly because of my impair- my visual impairment
  and partly because um my life hasnt taken the
  course it does for the majority of people my age.

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Identity work 3

• J ... but is there anything thats less
  positive in in the now than the good things that
  give you good quality of life anything that you
  see as more negative as bad
• C Um I dont think so I think with my friends
  having grandchildren or th- those of my friends
  who have are having grandchildren who are very
  tied up with their grandchildren I (.) am aware I
  am aware that I havent but I dont feel it in
  the same sense of envy that I used to feel when
  they used to be tied up with their partners um so
  I can genuinely feel their pleasure at their
  grandchildren and I can also think at the same
  time oh something actually goodness me I dont
  know how Id cope with all these family ties and
  responsibilities so in some ways Im quite glad
  that I havent (laugh) mm

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Identity work 4

• ... although no having said that then when a
  couple of them they just rang up after Christmas
  and said we fancy coming down to see you I was
  really pleased you know I said oh fancy them
  wanting to come and see me-e-e you know yeah
  its like the aged aunt sort of thing (hn hn hn)
  and its lovely that they do and they dont seem
  to think of people like me in the same way that
  when I was their age like in their 30s I used to
  think about mm my aunts of mm my age they
  dont that generation gap doesnt seem as wide now

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Conclusion

• An identity of childless older woman involves
  deficit to the extent of being defined by what
  one is not
• Our cultural context expects some support from
  children for those in older age and good support
  is highly valued and contrasted with where it is
  lacking
• A possibility of being invisible in the female
  life cycle may result in some rhetorical work to
  deal with explanations and assert positive
  achievements
• Some claim to generativity can position the
  speaker as successful and there are interesting
  comparisons to be made with parenting.

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Faculty of Health Social CareThe Open
UniversityWalton HallMilton KeynesMK7 6AA

• www.open.ac.uk
• j.c.reynolds_at_open.ac.uk