Title: Taming the Wolf Peace through Faith
1Taming the WolfPeace through Faith
Resolving Conflicts Ruining Your Life
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3MEDIATIONArt of Restoring Harmony by seeking
Unity in the Presence of the Holy Spirit.
4...an essential responsibility of the Church,
namely, a well-ordered love of neighbor.
Deus Caritas Est, Benedict XVI
5After the Fall
6Conflict Created by Opposing Forces
7Align with Will of God
8The love-story between God and man consists in
the very fact that this communion of will ...
9... increases in a communion of thought and
sentiment, and thus our will and Gods will
increasingly coincide... Deus
Caritas Est, Pope Benedict XVI
10Christ the Mediator
God
Trinity
Priest as mediator
15
Brother
11Mediator
Reconciliation
Brother
Brother
12God
Trinity
15
15
Brother
Brother
13... love of neighbor is a path that leads to the
encounter with God and ... closing our eyes to
our neighbor also blinds us to God. Deus
Caritas Est, Pope Benedict XVI
14FALSE SELFvs.Divine Self
15Two False Selves Fight
16Dour Combat
Fighting
Spiritual Warfare
Put on Spiritual Armor
St. Peters Dilemma
17The whole of mans history has been the story of
dour combat with the powers of evil...
CCC 409
18Matthew 1815 Interests Matthew 1816
Rights Matthew 1817 Power
19Power Rights Interests
20Positions
Interests
21Visioning Interests
22Human Needs Spiritual Needs
23AssessBe, Do, Have
24Compete
Collaborate
Satisfy Own Interests
Compromise
Avoid
Accommodate
Satisfy Others Interests
25Self
Avoid
Other
26Accommodate
Satisfy Others Interests
27Compete
Self
28Compromise
Self
Other
29Collaborate
Self
Other
30Distributive vs. IntegrativeBargaining
Cut the Pie
Expand the Pie
31Divine Collaboration
Satisfy Own Interests
Satisfy Will of God
Satisfy Others Interests
32Make Me a Collaborator
How can I help you become a collaborator? What
bad habits will you need to overcome? What will
remind you to seek mutual satisfaction? What
helps you align with the Will of God?
33ConveningGetting to the Table
34Safety,Hope Willingness
35Barriers to Convening
36Expectations
Failed
Unstated?
37Need to Be RightBeing Made Wrong
38Emotions Color Story Perceptions
39Destructive Emotions
40Faulty Perceptions
41Desire for Revenge
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42False Attributions
43Facework
44- Identity
- Public image we want others to share
- Claim to be a certain kind of person
- Positive social value we claim
- Need to be included (fellowship face)
- Need to be respected (competence face)
FACE
45Face-saving messages
- Speaker trying to maintain self-image, public
image - Attempt to negotiate relationship
- Defensive response to perceived threat
46You did ...
I felt ...
47The Face of a Franciscan
48Framing
49Telling Your Story
50FunnelQuestions
Open-Ended Clarifying Close-Ended
51The what happened conversation.The feelings
conversation.The identity conversation.
52Listening to Self
53Active Listening
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56Mirror Exercise
57power noun the ability to affect the decisions,
actions, and behavior of others
58Types of Power
59Negotiate Use of Power
60Increase security and love.
61APOLOGY MUST SATISFY NEEDS
62apology shows respect
- Demonstrates humility
- Uplifts the Other
- Restores dignity to harmed party
- Reverses invalidation
- Shifts focus to the Other
63apology offers expression of concern
- Demonstrates we feel their pain we recognize
their suffering - Conveys we get it
- Tells them we feel what you feel
- Promises well not cause more pain
64apology expresses acceptance of responsibility
- Communicates we accept being cause
- Signals we seek to gain control of our actions
- Signals harm will not be repeated
65apology expresses regret for violating moral
grain of universe
- Communicates moral perspective
- Communicates ability to judge right from wrong
- Provides comfort regarding future harm will not
be repeated
66apology signals offender seeks forgiveness
- Requests take away my guilt
- Demonstrates humility
- Honors Other by request for help
67apology expresses willingness to make amends
- Signals willingness to restore balance
- Pledges to make world right again
- Offers restitution
68apology removes insult from injury
- Restores face
- Restores respect
- Addresses the emotional injury of insult
69apology signals desire to reconcile
- Communicates change of heart
- Signals relationship has value
- Signals Other person is valued
70apology promises harm will not be repeated
- Signals control has been regained
- Removes fear of sociopath lacking remorse
- Communicates remorse and concern
71apology acknowledgesfree will
- Shows understanding that actions are a matter of
choice, not chance - Expression of self-control
72apology promotes spiritual growth
- Restores relationship with God
- Opens door to repentance
- Re aligns our will with Gods Will
73apology explains why things happened
- Helps restore reality
- Reduces confusion
- Reduces sense of unreality
- Increases certainty for party
74apology opens door to mediation
- Supplies concession needed to convene
- Signals willingness to communicate
- Signals willingness to collaborate
- Provides safety and hope
75apology motivates confession
- Parallels confession
- May motivate deeper confession
- Induces examination of conscience
76Forgiveness
77Forgiveness makes no sense.It is NOT rational.
78Justice
Forgiveness does not balance the scales
79To ForgiveIs an Act of Will
80Downside to Revenge
- Burden of Guilt
- Low Self-Esteem
- Remorse
- Spiral of Retribution
- Self-Deception
81Diminished Consciousness
- Buried Memory Triggered
- Drink, Drugs, Depression
- Clouded Reality
- Wounds Shadow Us
- Wounds Fester, Become Poison
82Victim Identity
- Victim Identity Addictive
- VI endowed with False Value
- Covert Revenge - Shaming
- Debilitating Loss of Dignity
83Attachment to Fairness
- Endless Tit-for-Tat
- Unable to find Balance
- Retribution Unending
- Stuck to Other Party - Trapped
- Unfair Universe - We Blame
84Self-Forgiveness
Accept Divine Forgiveness
85 Acknowledge Free Will
86 Retreat into Solitude
87Uncovering False Self Art of Spiritual Direction
88IMPASSE
89The Hidden Influence
90Opposition to Will of God
Problem of Evil
91Destructive Third Party
92When Evil Overwhelms
93Managing Deception
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95Discernment
96Identify the Third Party
97False Attributions
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99Destructive scale
100Situation-based Fear
101Situational Solution
102Challenging Difficult
increase love reduce fear
103Healing Personal Wounds
104Deep-Seated Fear
105Existential Fear Covert Acts or Bullying
106Traps
107Spiders Web
Quicksand
Flypaper
108The trap may involve
Group Think
Cabals
Covert Agents
Power Imbalance
109Snakes in SuitsBabiak HareThe Devil You
Dont KnowLouis CameliNarcissism and Dynamics
of Evil Douglas McMannaman
110Walking Away
111Francis Retreat into Solitude
112Contemplation of Suffering
113Spiritual Progress tends toward ever more
intimate union with union with Christ.
Text
114MEDIATIONArt of Restoring Harmony by seeking
Unity in the Presence of the Holy Spirit.