Friedman

1
Friedmans wisdom

• Parents cannot produce change in a troubling
  child, no matter how caring, savvy, or
  intelligent they may be, until they become
  completely and totally fed up with their childs
  behaviour.

2
Friedmans wisdom

• For terrorism to hold sway
• There must be a sense that no one is in charge
  ie no leader with nerve
• Leader must be hamstrung by a vulnerability to
  which the terrorist is always exquisitely
  sensitive
• Leaders must have an unreasonable faith in being
  reasonable

3
Friedmans wisdom

• Before learning any skills leaders have to be
• willing to face their own selves
• To separate themselves from the surrounding
  emotional processes (dominoes)
• Obtain clarity about personal vision and values
• Develop resilience in the face of resistance and
  self regulation in the face of sabotage
• Keep distance but stay connected

4
Friedmans wisdom

• Clearly defined, non-anxious leadership promotes
  healthy differentiation throughout the system,
• while reactive, peace at all costs, anxious
  leadership does the opposite.
• Differentiation will inevitably trigger sabotage.