Death

1
Death Dying Test Review
2
Why we fear death?

• Most fear is of the unknown.
• Death is the greatest unknown.
• Hiding from it/never talking about it will make
  the fear worse.
• Deal with fear by making it known

3
Fears associated with death Know 2 in each.

• 1. Loss of life
• Leaving loved ones
• Unfinished business
• Giving up our possessions
• 2. Process of dying
• Losing control
• Indignity
• Pain or Discomfort

• 3. Death itself -- Afterlife
• Unknown
• Possible punishment
• Possible annihilation
• 4. The Dead
• Ghosts
• Evil spirits

4
Why North Americans can more easily deny death
(3)

1. No war on our own soil.
2. No public executions.
3. Longer life-span. (makes us further removed from
   death).
4. Removed from mainstream living (nursing homes,
   hospitals, etc.)
5. Society glorifies youth

5
Grief Work

• Grief Work is necessary because part of us has
  been invested in another and we must retrieve
  that part of us that was lost. (rebuilding)
• Grief Work involves
• Facing
• Breaking
• Replacing
• You are not replacing the PERSON, just the
  activities and the human (earthly) interaction.

6
Preparing for Grief

• Education (Example this course!)
• Philosophy of Life
• Must be broad enough to include a
  philosophy of death.
• Build sound community practice\
• Wakes, funerals, etc.

7
Emotions Associated with Grief (3) but be able to
explain each

• Fear of being alone
• Guilt
• Neurotic Guilt - Guilt feelings out of
  proportion to the cause
• Anger
• a. Directed Outward (anger at others)
• b. Directed Inward (depression angry at self)
• At God
• At the person
• Emptiness
• Frustration Helplessness
• WHO DO WE GRIEVE FOR? OURSELVES!

8
Abnormal Grief

• Experiencing these mood changes and emotions
  (anger, fear, guilt, etc.) after approximately
  one month.
• Widows and widowers may take longer

9
True False of Suicide Myth or Truth?

• Teenage suicide is preventable. True
• Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for age
  15-24 and number is increasing dramatically. True
• Young people commit suicide at a rate of one
  every hour and 40 minutes in the U.S. True
• Teenagers talk about suicide to get attention.
  True BUT .
• All teenagers who commit suicide are depressed.
  True (but all depressed teens arent suicidal).
• Suicidal people really want to die and you cant
  stop them. False

1. Talking about suicide will cause someone to try
   it. False
2. If a person wants to kill themselves, we have no
   right to stop them. False
3. Once suicidal, you are suicidal forever. False
4. Suicidal thoughts are a sign that the person is
   crazy. False
5. The suicide rate is highest among the elderly.
   True
6. The most common time for suicide is mid-winter.
   False

10
Mortido

• Freud says that all people have a death wish or
  mortido
• Mortido can show itself in (3)
• Smoking
• Drinking
• Drug use
• Sexual promiscuity
• Risky behavior
• Etc.

11
Émile Durkheim French Sociologist

• 4 Types of Suicide Define, not list
• Egoistic ? Person feels detached from the world
  alone. Nobody understands or cares.
• Altruistic ? Person feels that the good of
  society is the greater good, over their own needs
  even over their life -- suicide for a cause
• Anomic ? Caused BY a breakdown of society. Person
  feels unable to live in the society needs can
  never be met.
• Fatalistic ? Living under an oppressive
  government, living in prison, etc. Person feels
  it is better to die.

12

• Suicide rate is highest among the elderly They
  are at the bottom of the list for suicide threats
  and attempts HOWEVER at the TOP of the list for
  completed suicides.
• Most common times for suicide
• Christmas
• Springtime
• Because of the CONTRAST between how the person
  feels and the outside world.

13
Warning Signs of Suicide Know meaning of each and
be able to list 3

1. Suicide Attempt
2. Suicide Threat
3. Situational Hint
4. Family Hint
5. Emotional Hint
6. Mental Illness
7. Other Hints (3) Giving away possessions,
   suddenly happy after long depression, gathering
   weapons, preoccupied with death, making final
   arrangements .etc

14
How can we help someone in this situation? Know 3
but the MEANING of all.

• Be aware of the warning signs
• Maintain a relationship based on total acceptance
  of the person
• Listen let them vent
• Dont moralize or lecture them
• ?

15

1. Identify the source of the distress. Just like
   talking to terminally ill patients let them
   express feelings freely.
2. Look for problem-solving resources that the
   person may have i.e. How have they solved
   problems before?
3. Identify the persons values Find what is
   important to them (family, friends, etc.) and
   capitalize on that!
4. Dont try to handle the problem alone!
5. Remove from the premises any weapons or
   potentially dangerous medications

16
Afterlife after suicide

• We cant judge.
• God calls ALL of us.
• Free will! The consequences are ours.
• Analogy of Jumping and Living Karma
• Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary
  problem.

17
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

• Pioneer in bringing the discussion of death and
  dying out into the mainstream.
• In the late 1960s
• Originated the 5 Stages of the Dying Process

18
5 Stages of Dying

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance
• Know how each stage works.
• Know other areas where these stages might apply.

19
Dealing With the Dying

• Be able to discuss 7 of the 14 points given in
  class.