Choosing A Mate

1
Choosing A Mate.And doing it Gods way

• Opening Statement
• THE PERSON YOU CHOOSE TO DATE OR TO ENGAGE IN A
  COURTSHIP OR TO MARRY, IS A DIRECT REFLECTION OF
  YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE..

• By B C Sono 2009

2
Marriage Humour

• Wife 'What are you doing?'
• Husband Nothing.
• Wife 'Nothing...? You've been
  reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
• Husband 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
  
• -------------------------------
• Wife 'Do you want dinner?'
• Husband 'Sure! What are my choices?'
• Wife 'Yes or no.
• _____________
• Wife 'You always carry my photo in your
  wallet.. Why?'
• Hubby 'When there is a problem, no matter how
  great, I look at your picture and the problem
  disappears.'
• Wife 'You see how miraculous and powerful
  I am for you?'
• Hubby 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself
  what other problem can there be greater than this
  one?'

3
In Other words you can test your spiritual life
by the kind of people youre interested in.

• E.G White Show me your friends and Ill tell you
  what kind of a person you are.
• A spiritual person will be attracted to another
  spiritual person, and a non-spiritual person is
  more likely to fall in love with a person
  out-side the church or with a non-spiritual person

• By B C Sono 2009

4
Ps Henry Wright, 67yrs old, 45yrs in ministries

• Says, in his forty years of counseling marriages,
  has taught him that the person you choose to
  marry is a direct reflection of your spiritual
  life.
• He says that 1 out of 4 marriages failed which
  was 40yrs ago, BUT now most of every marriage
  fails, WHY because of choosing your mate before
  choosing your Maker, and they need Jesus to fix
  their mistake.
• Lets hear of how can they succeed.

• By B C Sono 2009

5
Is the a correct formula or that specific one?

• One Bible scholar once said Therere no
  specifics but every specific design has its own
  specifications in other words, you fall into
  some category where youll find your eccentric or
  types.
• But still, isnt that God took only one rib from
  Adam, sure must be a direction to go about it

• By B C Sono 2009

6
Choosing A Mate.

• It shouldnt be an emotional decision but a
  spiritual decision.
• Why because theres TRUE LOVE and
  INFATUATION, where infatuation means Temporary
  love of an adolescent or A foolish and usually
  extravagant passion or love or admiration
• Now how to see the difference?
• Here with are 10 points to use as a litmus paper
  to test the right way.

• By B C Sono 2009

7
Choosing A Mate.

1. He or she must be a God Fearing person.
2. Spend time knowing yourself in the Lord before
   knowing someone else
3. Ask yourself, is he/she gonna help me
   Heaven-ward, has it uplifted you spiritually or
   not. Elder Wright says, therere two types of
   loneliness, one of which just because youre
   alone, the other type is when you fall
   spiritually but your partner cant pitch to help.
   He would listen to the accolades they bring as
   before he must approve the marriage but then ask
   one question As a result of meeting this person,
   have you been brought closer to the Lord/Heaven,
   doesnt matter if he/she makes you happy if this
   condition does not hold its useless.

• By B C Sono 2009

8
Choosing A Mate.

• Ask your self what is that person bringing in
  your life?, other than a degree, beauty but also
  a spiritual aspect. Will it increase my love for
  God, will it increase my sphere of usefulness in
  this life. Mrs. White says Marriage is something
  that will influence your life in this world the
  world to come. Do you know long FOREVER is,
  marry the wrong person you will discover its
  the longest word in the English dictionary A
  sincere/earnest/ an open genuine Christian will
  not advance his plans in this direction without
  that God approves his course, he will not want to
  choose for himself but would feel that God must
  choose for him (AH.pg43The great decision)
• Proverbs 2717 People learn from one another,
  just as iron sharpens iron.
• Ecc 49,10 Two are better off than one, because
  together they can work more effectively. If one
  of them falls down, the other can help him up.
  But if someone is alone and falls, it's just too
  bad, because there is no one to help him.

• By B C Sono 2009

9
Choosing A Mate.

• 5. Ask yourself that if the worse thing you
  know about them does not change, what will change
  that in a marriage. i.e aggression, smoking,
  lying, fidelity. Trick is, if you spend time with
  God long enough, Hell give you a sign long ahead
  not to go since He wont make fool out of His
  children.
• Spend time knowing yourself more in the Lord
  before you try knowing somebody else.

• By B C Sono 2009

10
Choosing A Mate.

• Dont drop your standards just for the sake of
  having someone in your life. 2 Cor. 614 in a GWV
  (Gods word version) -
• 2Co 614 Stop forming inappropriate
  relationships with unbelievers. Can right and
  wrong be partners? Can light have anything in
  common with darkness?
• vs15 Can Christ agree with the devil? Can a
  believer share life with an unbeliever?
• vs17 The Lord says, "Get away from unbelievers.
  Separate yourselves from them. Have nothing to do
  with anything unclean. Then I will welcome you."
• Only when we fully comprehend this text Gen 224
  shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be
  one flesh. now how will God make you one flesh
  with His enemy?.
• Love is a big word, which will make you not to
  compromise your standard, God is in love with us
  but not in bed with us, so sex is not a way to
  prove your love
• If you spend time with a fool, you wont make the
  right choice, or spending time with friends
  outside, you will end up marrying a fool.

• By B C Sono 2009

11
Choosing A Mate.

• Pray more than you use to. Mrs. White If a man
  and woman are in a habit of praying twice a day
  before they contemplate marriage, they should
  pray four times a day when such step is
  anticipated (AH.ch10.pg71). Three things to be
  done before,
• 1.PRAY,
• 
  2.PRAY,
• and
• 3.PRAY.
• Know and tell God what you exactly want, Psalms
  374 tell Him the desires of your heart, have a
  picture in mind.

• By B C Sono 2009

12
Choosing A Mate.

1. Is the Holy Spirit your guide into your
   relationship. Dont be desperate or let your age
   besides your name intimidate you, Im 30yrs I
   need to get married, theres no text for that,
   once you get involved under desperation, the Holy
   Spirit is not involved.
2. Money is the course for blacks to divorce. Before
   you get a wife get a Life! Before you say I will
   make sure you will..! Someone asked me when is
   the right age, answer not specific age or stage
   but simple when youre responsible if you
   cant maintain a relationship with God, how can
   you with a feeble man first things first!

• By B C Sono 2009

13
Choosing A Mate.

• Companionship - The state of being with someone.
  You may have companionship without marriage and
  also you can also can have marriage, but without
  companionship.
• This is to say have a lengthy conversation
  before you engage, dont rush. i.e. what ticks
  you off, are you getting along with your family
  coz I dont want to marry into drama solving
  problems. Dont get caught up in I dont want to
  loose them, It will mess your head up, its not
  one piece of cake to satisfy you, God has made
  you fearfully and wonderfully made so trust Him.
  You cannot marry someone you dont love, E.G W.
  says that would be sin.

• By B C Sono 2009

14
Summary

• E.G White warned us with these -
• Both families should be aware of that, and about
  private meetings late night courtship is evil.
• Take time to study the persons character and
  have good intentions about it, which hopefully is
  to get married, else a frivolous (or playing with
  heart-trifling) spirit God forbids that and its
  evil.
• In studying their character, some display now how
  theyre going to behave in a marriage, i.e. lazy,
  quiet, no humor, strict, self-centeredness,
  organized etc..
• Look at the common attributes(including your
  faith, someone to stomach your beliefs) you
  share, equilibrate the attributes, i.e. if youre
  talkative, find a quiet spirit.

• By B C Sono 2009

15
Summary cont.

• Submit a list or a depiction of the person youd
  love to spent eternity with, be honest to God of
  what you want.
• In that list, dont look for Mr. or Mrs.
  right, or even a perfect one, dont look for
  something youre not set very high standards
  for others, for the fact is theyre not there!
  but look for one whom you can perfectly love
• Gather as much info. As you can, because thats a
  great decision youre about to take, so look and
  observe.
• The advise throughout the bible is to look from
  among believers, Deut 72-4 Do not make an
  alliance with them or show them any mercy. Do not
  marry any of them, and do not let your children
  marry any of them, because then they would lead
  your children away from the LORD to worship other
  gods., so the argument goes further to say if
  its not your faith back away, they may be
  believers but not your faith, yes there maybe
  cases like Ruth who wasnt from the clan but Ruth
  had a willing heart to obey, but now its a risk.
• Dont confuse Gods grace and His will, you may
  know a case like that (one who took from outside)
  but God decided to love them anyhow yet thats
  not His will but His grace.

• By B C Sono 2009

16
Conclusion

• Better pray to God if you were gifted to be
  single, and stay so as Paul suggested in 1 Cor.
  77-10, you can serve God with Obscurity but
  E.G White was married also, God must tell you.
• The devil uses relationships to get people out of
  the church, so there are godly and ungodly, is
  what you have in mind godly?
• Remember this will affect, your children,
  yourself both in this life and the world to come.
• Even when you look one whos God fearing, and all
  those accolades, remember God created not Adam
  and Steve but Eve, so make sure you go for your
  opposite sex, lest we err and use this principles
  to wrong people.
• Matt 633 But seek ye first the kingdom of God,
  and his righteousness and all these things shall
  be added unto you.
• Its possible that when you choose to love
  outside, you probably living that life outside,
  but seek God first.
• God Bless You

• By B C Sono 2009