Title: Opening%20a%20negotiation:%20language
1Opening a negotiation language
- Greetings
- Introductions, if necessary
- Small talk, in most cases
- Getting comfortable, if necessary (drinks,
sitting down) - Transition to negotiation (setting agenda)
- Establishing positions
- (establishing good lines of communication)
2(No Transcript)
3Interactional Style what is it?
- A persons habitual, often subconscious, patterns
of acting and speaking in interaction with other
people
4Interactional style dimensions
More indirect style
More direct style
Possible miscommunication
Feels confused, impatient
Feels offended, pushed
5Interactional style is influenced by
- Wider culture
- Community norms
- Family norms
- Individual personality
- Education, school and work
- Immediate context/situation
- Mood, health
6Lets try another dimension of style
- Find one partner
- One person in the pair sit with your back to this
screen (so you cant see it). You will be
talking about a recent trip you took (for
vacation or work) for 3 minutes. - Other person While your partner is talking,
MAKE LESS EYE CONTACT than is usual for you.
Otherwise, try to act normally.
7Interactional style dimensions
Less eye contact
More eye contact
Possible miscommunication
Feels other doesnt care
Feels other is aggressive
8Interactional style dimensions
Fewer, shorter pauses Frequent overlap of talk
More, longer pauses Rare overlap of talk
Possible miscommunication
Talks all the time, trying to fill the awkward
silences
Rarely talks cant get a word in edgewise
9Interactional style dimensions
Information should be volunteered
Ask questions to get information
Possible miscommunication
Asks all the questions, Waits for questions,
feels other doesnt care about him/her
Waits for other to volunteer information feels
interrogated
10Interactional style dimensions
Less pitch variation
Wide pitch variation
Possible miscommunication
Thinks other is boring, disinterested
Thinks other is overly emotional, excitable
11Interactional style dimensions
Less use of gesture, body movement
Frequent use of gesture, body movement
Possible miscommunication
Feels other is disinterested, uninspired
Feels other is overly excitable, unprofessional
12Interactional style dimensions
Softer voice
Louder voice
Possible miscommunication
Feels other is timid, shy, or possibly weak
Feels other is aggressive, annoying
13Interactional style dimensions
Infrequent backchannels
Frequent backchannels
Possible miscommunication
Feels other is disinterested, or doesnt
understand
Feels other is interrupting, disruptive
14Interactional style dimensions
Speaks only after thinking
Speaks as part of thinking
Possible miscommunication
Thinks other is too cautious, conservative, not a
quick thinker
Thinks other is too impulsive, not careful, not
trustworthy
15What can be done? Some options
- Be aware of possible style differences
- Dont assume you know the others styles
- Stay observant in the interaction rather than
judgmental - Try to identify style differences if they occur.
- Try to adjust your style somewhat
- Occasionally check in with the others are they
comfortable with the interaction? - Talk explicitly about style differences name
the problem
16Be aware of possible style differences
- Before you begin a negotiation (or any
interaction with a new person), be aware that
that person may have different patterns of
negotiating than you do. These patterns may be
consciously employed, or subconsciously employed,
or some mix of each. They may be intended to
have a negative effect on you, or they may be
intended to have a positive effect (though the
actual effect may not match the intended
effect!). Just being aware of the possibility of
difference is the first step.
17Dont make assumptions about the others styles
- Before you begin a negotiation, find out as much
as you can about the other parties involved, as
we discussed regarding preparation. Making
possible predictions about their behavior is
helpful, but dont make assumptions about them or
their styles based on cultural background, for
example. You may be wrong and caught unawares.
18Stay observant in the interaction rather than
judgmental
- During the negotiation, remain aware of the
process as well as the content of the
negotiation. What patterns of interaction are
emerging in the negotiation? Who is talking, not
talking, what is the body language of everyone
involved, etc. Ask yourself, how do I feel about
what is happening, and what can I do about it
that will be productive to this process?
19Try to identify specific style differences if
they occur
- Once you identify differences, they may not
affect you as negatively. - For example, if you find yourself being
interrupted often, notice this, and think about
it. The person may be intending to disrupt you,
or may simply have a style that allows and
expects interruption. Instead of getting angry
and/or withdrawing from the interaction, stay
calm and focused and make sure you return to your
own points after you are interrupted.
20Try to adjust your own style somewhat
- For example, if you find yourself being
interrupted a lot, another option is to try
calmly but firmly holding the floor when you are
interrupted (i.e. dont stop talking), instead of
instantly relinquishing the floor. Likewise, if
they are talking a lot, you can try politely
interrupting them Excuse me, may I just say
something here. Avoid becoming increasingly
quiet because you feel overwhelmed or angry.
21Occasionally check in with the others are they
comfortable with the interaction?
- (This is particularly important if you are trying
to establish or maintain a longer-term
relationship). - If you suspect that your style may be dominating
their style (because they are getting quiet,
looking frustrated, etc.), you can explicitly ask
them some questions. E.g.,Are you feeling
comfortable with this decision? How do you feel
about these terms? Have you had enough chance to
discuss your concerns?
22Talk explicitly about what is happening name
the problem
- For example, if you find yourself being
interrupted a lot, try saying, Excuse me, sorry
to interrupt, but I feel like Im having a hard
time getting a word in. Could I take a few
minutes to explain my perspective on this? If
they are interrupting with no intention of
disrupting you, then you have just helped to
raise their awareness of what is happening. If
they indeed are interrupting you to disrupt you,
you have just politely asserted your right to not
be treated this way.