English Class

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English Class

• What's the point?

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And you have a good point.

• If you never took another English class from this
  day forward, you would have the basic skills
  needed to get by in some jobs.
• But

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Many years of this...seriously!?

• You're probably thinking this right now.
•   

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• And you're probably not alone.

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How many of you think English class is
unneccessary since you already know how to read
and write in English?
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• You would struggle if you
• Plan to go to college
• Plan to earn a living
• Want to better understand other subjects (like
  math, science, history)
• Want to form educated opinions on world events
  and issues
• Want to become a critical thinker

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• In order to achieve these things

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You'll learn to effectively communicate with your
peers.
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You'll be exposed to great literature
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both old and new.
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You'll find creativity you never knew you had.
Soft written by an LMJ student
Socratic Circles
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You'll learn to write various types of essays,
responses, documents--incorporating technology,
of course.
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Blah...blah...blah....  Your brains have
already shut down now, right!?
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   So... here's the REAL reason you need
English class
Because all that previous stuff--while vital to
your educational success--sounds BORING.
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So you don't look like an idiot, like these
folks...
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Even if this was just a computer glyph error and
the commas were actually apostrophes, its STILL
wrong. Types and tools are not possessing
anything--especially a sharp end!
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But I thought this was the Guide Dogs toilet.
So if no vehicle is tresspassing, why do we
need the sign?
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Yes, we all want you to carefully slip and fall
down, rather than clumsily slip and fall down.
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Where do I begin?
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Yummmm I just LOVE Lobter-Beef-Shtimp Chiken
Suop!!
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Its almost as good as the Shtimp Suop!
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What caused the explosion? A gas leak? And you
couldnt find the gas valve because Oh, I see.
This is the gas vavle.
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English class to sign writer the entrance
bekons. (With Yoda too much time was spent.)
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English Class Back You Go
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Because we wouldnt want you to arrive after your
departure
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Probably not at it is best.
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Well, I know you wont be earning a star
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We have cute LECKNACES, too!
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And up ahaed youll glimpse a future without
English class.
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So, TP that tree up ahaed?
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Is this for Trekkies?
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But the sign said DRIVE IN!
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From The Committee ortherised to dumb down
America.
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Must be written by the same committee
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Would you hire this person as your personal
typist?
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YA I GOT DELIVERYS FOR SOME CANDYS BERRYS AND
PASTRYS THANKS UPS
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For some Meace of Pind, stay at
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And they probably do New Jobs, as well as
Repairs!
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Found in the locker room right here at LMJ
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Unfortunately, even the college educated and
professionals forget essential editing skills
learned in English class.
Id like to buy a vowel, Pat. Well, Ill need a
few
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How many people looked at these before someone
noticed the errors?
Left, engraved on the Stanley Cup. Great job,
Ilanders!
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Sometimes its all about the placement of signs.
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Or the placement of punctuation.
Please dont smoke your food or your pet!
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The difference one comma can make
The pecans are just the added bonus!
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And this was perpared by an honors
university.
Nor is it too soon to add English to your
curriculum!
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I hate being distrubbed!
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Uneasiness an understatement if flying with this
airline.
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And Hoppy New Yaer!
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Hands off! This is Holidays. And nobody
elses!
(Except maybe Marrys or Happes.)
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Because being a 1, 2, or even a 3 hour leader
just isnt the same.
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Unless theyre silent candles, then its okay.
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A customer ordered a cake from Walmart and told
the decorator to write Best Wishes Suzanne and
then underneath that We will Miss You. And
heres what the customer got
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Lets stop here for some coffee and
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Im so hungry, I could eat a
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Or should I have the cold cats? Decisions,
decisions.
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Yes! Just what I was craving
Just like mom used to make!
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The benefits of taking English are priceless.