The Relationship Principles of Jesus

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The Relationship Principles of Jesus
Mount Olivet Baptist Church Adolphus C. Lacey,
Senior Pastor
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Relationship Principle 4
Last Weeks Memory Verse Matthew 71-2 Do not
judge, or you too will be judged. For in the
same way you judge others, you will be judged,
and with the measure you use, it will be measured
to you.

• As You Judge, You Will Be Judged

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Relationship Principle 5
Memory Verse Matthew 2311-12 The greatest
among you will be your servant. For whoever
exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever
humbles himself will be exalted.

• The Greatest Are Servants

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I. The Desire to Be Great

• There is a strong connection between our desire
  to be great and our decision to humbly serve.
• Greatness comes through the path of service and
  this was a constant theme of Jesus teaching.
• In every relationship we face the decision Will
  I exalt myself or will I humble myself?

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I. The Desire to Be Great

• Take this test of greatness daily
• Who will be the first to apologize after an
  argument?
• Can I handle this disagreement with my friend?
• Who get the remote control?
• Humbles himself points to a choice you and I
  must make.

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II. How Humility Handles Ambition

• There is nothing wrong with having ambitions.
• There are three reasons everyone should have
  great ambitions
• We are created by God.
• We are given responsibility over this world.
• We are made to reflect Gods image in this world.
  

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II. How Humility Handles Ambition

• Who Is the Greatest in the Kingdom?
• Matthew tells of Jesus bringing a child into the
  disciples midst to paint a powerful picture.
  Pointing to the child, Jesus declared, Whoever
  humbles himself like this child is the greatest
  in the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 184).

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II. How Humility Handles Ambition

• One way to exalt yourself is to demand your own
  way.
• Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be
  demanding?
• The problem is that you cannot demand the most
  important things.

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II. How Humility Handles Ambition

• Unless You Become Like Children
• What can we learn from a child?
• At the core all children have one thing in
  common they have to depend on someone else on
  their parents or other adults in their lives.

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II. How Humility Handles Ambition

• Jesus tells us that in a healthy relationship,
  those who depend ask for help from those they
  depend on Ask and it will be given to you seek
  and you will find knock and the door will be
  opened to you (Matthew 77).
• Make the decision to depend on God.

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III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed

• Our relationships are filled with the need for
  notice.
• Our Scripture tells us that the disciples have a
  real issue among themselves about who is at the
  top of the heap and who is the most noticed.
• Jesus teaches His disciples about humility by
  pointing to the religious leaders of His day Do
  not do what they doEverything they do is done
  for men to see (Matthew 23 3.5).

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III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed

• Jesus gave His disciples a list of three things
  that served as a telltale sign of their need to
  be noticed
• They make their phylacteries wide
• they love the place of honor at banquets
• they love tohave men call them Rabbi (Matthew
  235-7).

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III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed

• They Make Their Phylacteries Wide
• A phylactery was a little box worn on the head
  that contained Scripture verses.
• The phylactery is a perfect picture of our love
  for symbols. When we are caught up in the need
  to be noticed, we begin to love symbols.
• God does not care about our symbols He cares
  about the humility in our hearts!

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III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed

• They Love the Place of Honor at Banquets
• Those who need to be noticed also have a love of
  recognition and honor. For these religious
  leaders, it meant making sure they had a place at
  the head table.
• We can fall in love with head tables also.

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III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed

• They Loved to Have Men Call Them Rabbi
• The religious leaders had a love of titles. It
  was not enough to be a teacher these religious
  leaders of Jesus day wanted to hear people call
  them Teacher.
• There is nothing inherently wrong with titles,
  and titles can help let others know about your
  responsibilities.
• Remember that a title is only important in that
  it expresses your ability to serve others.

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III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed

• Noticing the Need of Others
• The only way to be cured of this need to be
  noticed is to start noticing other peoples
  needs.
• We all have to deal with pride in our lives.
• How do we set aside pride to focus on the needs
  of others? Trust God to meet your need for
  notice! Paul exudes this confidence My God
  will use His wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to
  give you everything you need (Philippians 419
  NCV).

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IV. How Humility Handles Our Tendency to Compare

• Because we equate being first with being
  greatest, we are always comparing.
• This tendency to compare has an immeasurable
  impact on our relationships.
• See Luke 147-14. In most of the world today, we
  equate being first with being greatest.

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IV. How Humility Handles Our Tendency to Compare

• Greatness is a matter of humbly living the life
  God gave you to live.
• Do you humble yourself by taking the lowest
  place? Making the decision to take the lowest
  place is very different from tolerating your
  placement in the lowest seat.

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IV. How Humility Handles Our Tendency to Compare

• As we grow in spiritual maturity, we typically go
  through three phases as we consider which spot to
  seek.
• In phase one, we are ruled by selfishness, and so
  we strive for the top seat.
• In phase two, we take the lower spot, hoping it
  will get us to the top spot.
• In phase three, we are equally comfortable in the
  bottom spot or the top spot. We have realized it
  does not really matter who we think is first.

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V. How Humility Handles Our Relationship with God

• When you exalt yourself, you end up with a
  do-it-yourself design for relating to God.
• In Luke 189-14, Jesus pointed to the signs of
  do-it-yourself religion.
• You become confident in yourself.
• You become condemning of others.
• You become content with externals.

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VI. Vine and Branches

• Jesus gives us a picture of what humility and
  greatness look like in John 15, where He teaches
  about the vine and the branches.
• He said, I am the vine you are the branches
  (verse 5).
• God does not intend for you to live a burdensome
  life one where your relationships are spinning
  out of control.
• God wants us to live lives that bear fruit.

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VI. Vine and Branches

• I Am a Branch
• In John 15, Jesus compares our lives to a
  vineyard. God is the gardener, Jesus is the
  vine, and we are the branches.
• God is the one who tends your life.
• Jesus is the vine. The vine draws life-giving
  and fruit-bearing strength from the soil to give
  to the branches.

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VI. Vine and Branches

• You are a branch.
• What is the job of a branch? The branch must
  stay attached to the vine.
• The branch reproduces the life that is in the
  vine.
• The fruit is being like Jesus Christ - not just
  in your thoughts but also in your actions.

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VI. Vine and Branches

• You are a branch that God expects to be fruitful,
  and in order to be fruitful, branches must be
  pruned.
• Pruning hurts. There is no pruning without pain.
  
• But in the pain there is the promise of greater
  fruit.

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VI. Vine and Branches

• Jesus Is the Vine
• Jesus told us that we as the branches must abide
  in the vine.
• The branch needs the vine all the time.
• There is a deep connection between abiding in
  Christ and love.

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VII. The Daily Decision of Humility

• If you are to choose humility, it begins with how
  you think about humility.
• Humility has more to do with how you think about
  others and how you think about God.
• Think of Others As More Important Than Yourself
• Philippians 23-4 Paul points to selfish
  ambition and vain conceit.

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VII. The Daily Decision of Humility

• At their core, relationships are about giving,
  not getting and thats why selfish ambition is
  so destructive to relationships.
• Self-focused conceit is equally destructive to
  relationships.

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VII. The Daily Decision of Humility

• Humble Yourself under Gods Mighty Hand
• Peter declares, God opposes the proud but gives
  grace to the humble. Humble yourselves,
  therefore, under Gods mighty hand, that he may
  lift you up in due time (1 Peter 55-6).
• Humility is not putting yourself down, it is
  lifting God up.
• Humility is being honest about who you are.