Personal Statement

1
Personal Statement

• The Second Draft

2
Content

• Review your draft to be certain it follows the
  prompt. Choosing not to follow the prompt is
  choosing to fail the assignment and/or not get
  accepted to the school of your choice.
• Be sure that the content of your essay reflects
  information that CANNOT be found on your
  application. The statement is a chance to ADD to
  you application.

3
Content contd

• Eye-catching opener
• Self focus
• Illustrative details
• Sensory details
• Cohesive story
• Crucial sentences for conclusion (see video)

4
Structure

• Look at your topic sentences and your concluding
  sentences for the paragraphs. They must
  encompass the content of the body sentences. If
  they dont, you lack unity (same topic) and
  coherence (makes sense).
• Did you give examples to illustrate? (Show -
  dont tell).

5
Grammar/Mechanics

• Grammar and mechanics reflect what you have
  learned throughout your school career.
• What does your attention to these tedious but
  critical details say about your work ethic?

6
Grammar Holt Handbook

• Proper capitalization p. 296-320
• Correct spelling spell check and EYE CHECK
• Pronoun/antecedent agreement - p 124-131
• No F words Control F
• Consistent tense p. 485-486
• No R-O or FRAG
• Sentence variety openings and lengths p.
  494-506 515-519
• Variety in word choice p. 520-524
• Transitions p. 95, 356-357
• Comma usage series, intro. prep. phrase, intro.
  sub. clause p. 342-43, 348, 357,
• Dialogue proper punc./indentation p. 368
• Numbers p. 407-408

7
Today

• Fold essay pages vertically to look at sentence
  beginnings on the left and sentence lengths on
  the right.
• Select three short sentences to combine into one
  sentence using a technique from the sentence
  variety section of the Holt Handbook.
• Mark the three sentences on your second draft and
  label the technique you used.
• Add the new sentence to your final copy.

8
Today contd.

• Select ten words from your essay to upgrade. (not
  including F words).
• Highlight your choices on your second draft and
  write in the upgraded word on your second draft.
• Make these changes to your final copy.
• Do not use words that are unfamiliar to you.
  Nuances in meaning can make you look foolish.

9
Read It!

• Ask someone who isnt afraid to be critical and
  honest to read your essay to tell you if it
  sounds right, complete, and individual.
• Did you keep to the limit? Our limit is 500
  words or so.

10
Format

• 1 inch margins
• MLA heading (Your name, my name, English 022,
  date in MLA order double spaced only)
• Page headers
• Original title
• Proper capitalization
• Double space no extra spaces between
  paragraphs. Set paragraph spacing to 0 in new
  Word.
• Proper indentation

11
When is it due?

• Final paper copy and second draft with changes
  marked due on 10/17 by 300 pm no exceptions.
• Absent for any reason? Send it in, or it will be
  late.
• Turnitin.com due by midnight on 10/17.
• Computer failures are not excuses. Plan ahead
  and/or carry a jump drive.