Welcome to Magic 1-2-3

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Welcome to Magic 1-2-3

• Please take a packet and the handouts on the
  table.
• Help yourself to refreshments.
• Please answer the parent questions.
• Meet other parents who share your concerns.

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Behavior Magic 1, 2, 3

• Caley Elementary School
• Mrs. Barbara Micucci
• School Counselor

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(No Transcript)
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Agenda

• Parent Questions
• Video of Little Adult Assumption
• Introduce premise of Magic 1 - 2 - 3
• Show video segment using Magic 1 - 2 - 3
• Common concerns and special circumstances
• Start behaviors
• Circle of Support
• Questions
• Evaluation

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Parent Questions

• 1. What techniques for discipline did your
  parents use? Were they effective?
• 2. What is the most difficult behavior for you to
  manage with your child?
• 3. What do you do to manage that behavior?
• Is it effective?
• 4. What would you like to walk away with today?
• 5. What do you enjoy about your child/ children?

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Parent Concerns

• Procrastination having to tell my child more
• than once to do things
• Doing jobs independently and accepting
  consequences for poorly done jobs
• Getting my children to listen to me
• Fighting with each other
• Talking back and saying No
• Being so negative
• Bedtime
• Ignoring me when I speak to him/her
• Completing a task

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Parent Concerns

• Tantrums and whining
• Getting him up in the morning
• Getting them to do daily chores
• Bedtime
• Dinner time takes forever for them to eat
• Getting her to sleep in her own bed
• through the night
• Arguing over everything
• Cleaning up after themselves
• Finding time to spend with her
• Doing homework in a timely fashion

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2 Types of BehaviorsStop and Start

• There are behaviors that you want to STOP.
  These include the frequent minor everyday
  behaviors such as
• Whining
• Arguing
• Yelling
• Temper tantrums
• Fighting
• Sibling rivalry
• With STOP behaviors you will want to use Magic 1-
  2 - 3 and use counting followed by a time-out.

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Start Behaviors

• Start behaviors include positive activities like
• Cleaning their room
• Doing homework
• Practicing an instrument
• Getting up and out in the morning
• Going to bed
• Eating
• With START behaviors you would use one of the
  following techniques to get your child to do the
  behavior
• praise, simple requests, kitchen timers, the
  docking system, natural consequences, charting or
  a version of the 1-2-3.

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Premise Behind Magic 1-2-3

• One explanation
• No talking No emotion the power is in the
  silence
• Authority is not negotiable
• Punishment is short 1 minute time out for each
  year of life
• As kids get older there is more democracy

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Testing and Manipulation

• Badgering Why, why, please, please
• Intimidation Yelling, screaming
• Threatening Ill never talk to you again
• Martyrdom Crying, pouting
• Butter Up Do something to make you
• feel good
• Physical Attacking you or running away
• These are all tactics to get what they want
  because they are frustrated.
• DONT GIVE IN!

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Time Out Alternatives
For those times where time-out might not be
possible when a child reaches a count of 3, here
is a list of some alternatives

• Earlier bedtime
• Loss of TV for evening
• Loss of a toy for the
• rest of the day
• Small chore
• Monetary fine
• Write a paragraph
• Loss of Gameboy 2
• hours

• Removal of CD or DVD
• player
• No dessert or treat
• No use of phone
• Larger chore weed yard
• No conversation 15 mins.
• No friend over
• Reduced computer time

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Time-Out Alternatives

• Groundings, fines, chores and losses like these
  can be very useful as consequences.
• Remember to keep the punishment fair and
  reasonable.
• Your goal is to teach the child something, not to
  be cruel or get revenge.

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Special Circumstances

• Sibling Rivalry
• If both children are fighting both kids get
  counted
• Never ask Who started it? or What happened?
  except if someone is bleeding
• Never expect the older child to be more mature
  when they are fighting (Older one may get longer
  time out)
• If you dont see it, dont count it
• Dont send 2 fighting kids to the same room
• Temper Tantrums Time out does not start until
  tantrum is over
• Pouting You can count pouting

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Tactics for Starting Behaviors

• Praise / Positive Reinforcement (Should exceed
  your counting 4 times to 1). Use intermittent
  reinforcement as well as praising in front of
  someone else.
• Simple requests Avoid should thinking
• Add rewards and consequences (Dock child if they
  dont do it)
• Kitchen timers - Play beat the clock
• Docking System
• Natural consequences natural effects take over
• Charting stickers or number ratings. Could just
  use these or add a reward onto it.
• Magic 1 - 2 - 3

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Start Behaviors

• Cleaning their Room or Picking Up
• Close the door and dont look method
• Weekly clean up routine
• Use a kitchen timer and docking system
• Eating Dinner
• Could use natural consequences with older kids
• Use a timer give small portions if they finish
  they get dessert
• Eating can be considered a start/stop behavior if
  they are playing around count them
• Bedtime
• Pick a time, ½ hour before have them get ready

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Start Behaviors

• Up and Out in the Morning
• 8 years old and younger use a chart and list what
  they need to do
• Use kitchen timer
• Use lots of praise
• 9 years old and older natural consequences
• Give them an alarm clock if they are late they
  suffer consequences
• Homework
• Use kitchen timer
• Break into segments
• Use as assignment sheet to see what they have
• Use a 5 point charting system 1 point for each
  of the following neatness, thorough, correct, no
  complaining, and starting on your own without
  being reminded. If you get a 5 you get a reward
  or bonus

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Possible Reinforcers

• A trip for ice-cream
• Brightly colored tokens
• A small toy
• Renting a special game
• Money
• Staying up past bedtime
• Renting a special movie
• A grab-bag surprise
• Outing with a parent
• Shopping trip
• Sleepover
• Playing a game with parent

• A No Chore voucher
• Camping out in backyard
• Card for a collection
• Snack of choice
• Breakfast in bed
• Comic book or magazine
• Friend over for dinner
• Choice of three reinforcers
• Sleeping with pet
• Reading a story with parent
• Helping make and eat cookies

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Parent References

• 1 2 3 Magic Effective Discipline for
  Children 2 12 by Dr. Thomas Phelan 9 (2nd and
  3rd edition)
• 1 2 3 Magic Video by Dr. Thomas Phelan
• More 1 2 3 Magic Video by Dr. Thomas Phelan
• No More Misbehavin by Michele Borba - 38
  difficult behaviors and how to stop them
• Parents Do Make a Difference by Michele Borba
  How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong
  Minds, and Caring Hearts
• Go To Your Room! Consequences that Teach by
  Shari Steelsmith
• Rewards for Kids! by Dr.Virginia Shiller and Meg
  Schneider charts and activities for positive
  parenting
• Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Kurcinka
• How To Talk So Kids Will Listen Listen So Kids
  Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
• How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! By Sal
  Severe
• Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking by Jerry
  Wyckoff and Barbara Unell

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A Final Thought

• If you let your children do anything they please,
• Eventually you wont be pleased by anything they
  do.